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Not sure if this woman is starting to take the piss

(66 Posts)
HateSummer Fri 04-Nov-16 13:32:52

I befriended a woman from dd's school who is a single mum to one dc. I felt sorry for her due to her circumstances, as she'd fled an abusive marriage.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, this woman works full time and needed someone to house sit whilst the gas man came to fix the boiler. I took my 3 yr old and waited all day at her house last month and no one came. Then she rescheduled during half term and told me that's the only appointment they had, so I stayed at her house 8 hours with 3 kids waiting and only one repair man came to fix her fans, but gas man didn't come until I was leaving. I rescheduled for her for them to come after 6pm when she's back from work the next day and it apparently got done hmm.

This morning at 9, she phones me and i thought she was phoning to say hi and how are you, but no, she's at work and she thinks she hasn't put the handbrake on her car and if I could go and have a look. hmm. I told her I have a busy day ahead and I need to go and see my dad aswell but she starts making panicky noises in the phone so i told her I'd go and have a look.

Now I know it must be hard being a single mum and I sense she has anxiety issues, but the handbrake thing has pushed me over. I offered her help because I saw she was worried, but This is getting a bit weird now. I don't want to be mean but I don't want her taking advantage either. Is she?

HateSummer Fri 04-Nov-16 13:33:23

Omg sorry my posts always end up being essays. Thanks if you read it!

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight Fri 04-Nov-16 13:34:21


AlexaTwoAtT Fri 04-Nov-16 13:34:43

She is using you.

MissMargie Fri 04-Nov-16 13:34:49

Do you know her neighbour. Ask them to stick a brick under the wheel.

AlexaTwoAtT Fri 04-Nov-16 13:35:09

Drop her.

Giratina Fri 04-Nov-16 13:37:08

What did she want you to do about the car anyway, presumably you don't have keys for it?

Twixandlatte Fri 04-Nov-16 13:37:32

Even if she had a dp/dh she wouldn't be able to have called them up and asked them to check her handbrake, helping with the occasional babysitting or keeping her company is more than enough support. You aren't on her payroll that is ridiculous!

legotits Fri 04-Nov-16 13:37:35

Not with the handbrake that's an emergency one.

Gas man and reschedule is enough favours for the next ten years of that kind.

Make sure you don't offer and learn an excuse.

People think because I work from home I can go and work at their home and wait for deliveries or works.

Don't let it get to you, get a stock reply ready.

HateSummer Fri 04-Nov-16 13:38:31

Apparently she doesn't know any neighbours. I told her it will be fine as putting the brake on is a subconscious manoeuvre, but she got really panicky. I don't know if I should tell her she needs to get more organised. Or whether to just leave it.

When I got to her car, it was parked fine and it wasn't even downhill.

HateSummer Fri 04-Nov-16 13:41:07

Yes I do have a key to her car because she left her flat keys in there for me last time. So I've kept hold of them.

What kind of stock replies would work? Because the real ones: I have to go out and do shopping and then meet my dad, didn't work. I probably won't answer her calls anymore.

AyeAmarok Fri 04-Nov-16 13:41:17

Next "favour" she asks you, say no.

Break the cycle!

RNBrie Fri 04-Nov-16 13:45:06

This is happening to me with a neighbour and her childcare. I feel terrible saying no but I have three kids and I can't just keep having hers every time she has an emergency (which is at least once a week)

I've always subscribed to the idea we should all help each other out because that's what keeps the world turning but I've realised she's taking me for a mug. I have started to just say no. It's awful and I feel terrible but she has to sort out something more sensible for her childcare for all our sakes.

Liiinoo Fri 04-Nov-16 13:46:37

Don't answer the phone to her.

legotits Fri 04-Nov-16 13:48:20

I'm not very articulate so my stock reply is
Fuck off I do have an actual job.

Mnetters will help with this, I love the crispness grin

OurBlanche Fri 04-Nov-16 13:48:32

Give her back her keys... post them through her letterbox... anything. But cut that cord!

AmeliaJack Fri 04-Nov-16 13:49:37

Give back her keys.

Say no more firmly.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 04-Nov-16 13:49:55

While you were at her house (for eight hours shock ) did you eat all her custard creams , drink all her coffee and sit with your feet up on her sofa watching MTV?

Missed a trick there wink

HateSummer Fri 04-Nov-16 13:50:24

RNBrie, yes! I feel terrible if I try to say no. The last time when I rescheduled her appointment she tried to make me go at 6pm aswell but I told her I couldn't I had work. Still felt guilty.

I just think she has 1 child and she could get organised. I don't know what's happening in her life/head, but another friend warned me people take advantage of me, and she was right.

I will practise how to say no!

Katy07 Fri 04-Nov-16 13:51:04

Return the keys, quickly!

Clandestino Fri 04-Nov-16 13:52:08

Give her the keys back. Less obligation for you.

HateSummer Fri 04-Nov-16 13:54:14

70isalimit: I wish! There was no tea in the house, a sink full of dishes so no washed mugs but she did leave a pizza in the oven. Luckily I'd taken our own food too. Then she called during her lunch time and told me to turn her water off because her boiler was leaking water in the waste and that's what needed to be fixed. So the last 3 hours we had to turn the water on everytime we used the bathroom and then turn it off confused. HWe had wifi though!

weveallkissedafrogor2 Fri 04-Nov-16 13:55:45

Stop answering shel soon get the message.
Post the keys back through the door ( or get someone else to)
Just say no....don't be rude obviously but always have an excuse in your belt!
Or just 'aw sorry I cant.....BYE!'

Maudlinmaud Fri 04-Nov-16 13:56:03

You know it will only get worse if you don't say something to stop her. Yes she has/is having a shit time but she is taking the piss now.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Fri 04-Nov-16 13:56:07

Give the keys back. Don't do any more for her, even if she makes panicky noises at you.

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