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AIBU?

To broadcast who you fancy publicly?

43 replies

Gripey · 04/11/2016 08:37

Would anyone else feel a bit embarrassed to find their DP had written on a social networking site how he found an actress gorgeous? My DP wrote a status about a film and commented how he thought that the main character was very attractive and my heart just sunk and I physically squirmed. I already knew he liked her and had no issue but felt it was a bit disrespectful to broadcast it so publicly. AIBU and sensitive or is this the norm?

OP posts:

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Areyoufree · 04/11/2016 08:41

I always think there's a bit of a double standard about this. I have lots of female fb friends who post pictures of actors they think are attractive, and I think it's more acceptable for women to do this, for some reason. However, if you are not comfortable with it, then I would just let him know. I don't think he is being unreasonable by doing it, but neither do I think you would be unreasonable to ask him not to.

Areyoufree · 04/11/2016 08:42

Wait a minute, I've got that wrong, haven't I. What I actually meant to say is - LTB.

lokivonpoki · 04/11/2016 08:44

I think it's a bit weird for a grown man to write about it on a status, but I don't feel it was disrespectful to you as much as it would have been if he had written
tracy the barmaid from the dog and gun is so attractive, I go in there just to see her and she makes me go weak at the knees

that would be disrespectful, him saying it about an actress in a film is just odd

BeyondReasonablyDoubts · 04/11/2016 08:46

A lot of people are sensitive about this, so you wouldn't be wrong if you were.
Doesn't bother me though. And I'm a big advocate of "Ltb"

ThePeoplesChamp · 04/11/2016 08:53

I think as a status its a bit cringe, but I'd also think IWBU to gush over an actor on a status (if we're looking at it as a double standard).

I suppose for me it is that an FB stauts is a publish announcement you WANT people to read, a declaration almost..... vs maybe a more annonymous topic on here .... like 'A crush you'd show off and one you'd hide'....

Georges St Pierre...google ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yea ..... and Doc Martin (specifically Doc Martin, not Martin Clunes.....) yes, I should hide that

ThePeoplesChamp · 04/11/2016 08:53

I think as a status its a bit cringe, but I'd also think IWBU to gush over an actor on a status (if we're looking at it as a double standard).

I suppose for me it is that an FB stauts is a publish announcement you WANT people to read, a declaration almost..... vs maybe a more annonymous topic on here .... like 'A crush you'd show off and one you'd hide'....

Georges St Pierre...google ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yea ..... and Doc Martin (specifically Doc Martin, not Martin Clunes.....) yes, I should hide that

ThePeoplesChamp · 04/11/2016 08:54

twice!?!?!?!?

CockacidalManiac · 04/11/2016 08:54

I really wouldn't see this as an issue

BeyondReasonablyDoubts · 04/11/2016 08:55

I'm imagining it not as a public announcement exactly more a...
"MrGripey is watching Tomb Raider - phwoar at Angelina Jolie!!"
(Random film choice )

Gripey · 04/11/2016 09:04

Thanks for your feedback and LTB made me chuckle.
Yeah I find it a bit cringeworthy but it possibly made me feel a bit disconcerted too because I would never do it, I found it a bit urrgghh. In fact I think I said that when I read it lol.

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NerrSnerr · 04/11/2016 09:12

I wouldn't see it as an issue. I doubt my husband would write that as he doesn't really post much on FB but if he put on FB that he still thinks Andrea Corr is fit I wouldn't mind. To be fair she is.

surferjet · 04/11/2016 09:14

Actually, I would LTB.
Totally humiliating you on social media?
I'm embarrassed for you.

ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 04/11/2016 09:17

it seems a bit cringey but I think it's harmless enough although I would keep an eye on it. A storm in a teacup at the moment

TheNaze73 · 04/11/2016 09:20

I think there's a huge double standard on this. Whilst I'm actually embarrassed for him & wouldn't do it, I think a female posting about Tom Hardy for instance is seen as OK, whilst if a guy posts about Emily Blunt it's cringy.
I think the key thing here though is he's upset you & that isn't on

IminaPickle · 04/11/2016 09:24

I think it's classless. And although I'd phwoah at Tom Hardy her, or even chatting in RL I certainly wouldn't do so on FB or have a fridge magnet or whatever m b

BeyondReasonablyDoubts · 04/11/2016 09:27

Where did a fridge magnet idea come from imina? methinks the lady doth protest too much!!

VladimirsPooTin · 04/11/2016 09:29

I think it's embarrassing and juvenile.

Can someone help me down off my high horse?

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2016 09:29

I wouldn't have an issue with this, I'd tease him about it, but that's all. He wrote about the movie, said the actress was attractive, so what. It's hardly like he's going to meet her and run off with her, and he is allowed to find other people attractive I assume.

Gripey · 04/11/2016 09:29

The status was pretty much like how Beyondreasonabledoubt suggested "Mr Gripey watching Tomb Raider - phwoar at Angelina Jolie."

I did feel unsettled but partly because he would have known it'd bother me.

Iminapickle mentioned the word classless and that was one of the first words that sprung to my mind too.

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Clandestino · 04/11/2016 09:31

I think it's a kind of hypocritical double standards here.
I would comment on how I find some actors sexy. Yesterday I told DH that I prefer working with male colleagues because I hate the petty bitchiness you get when working with women. I prefer directness and being straight-forward. DH knows it and understands it has nothing to do with being flirty or sexual.
So if my DH would say he finds an actress sexy or likes working with females, should I be jealous or say it's all wrong?

Gripey · 04/11/2016 09:34

Yeah Bluntness100 I don't have an issue with him fancying people, I realise it's normal and human but its just a bit embarrassing to be publicly drooling over somebody else in front of our friends, family and anyone else who sees his statuses.

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JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha · 04/11/2016 09:34

I know a guy who keeps a picture (from a magazine) of Scarlett Johannsen in his wallet and tells people she's 'his wife'. He has a long term partner and she's kind of accepted it now as his particular brand of 'humour'

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JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha · 04/11/2016 09:37

Should have added, I actually cringe on his behalf, more than his GF's as it makes him look like an utter twat....

Gripey · 04/11/2016 09:39

Jessshouldhavebeen Haha, that's an excellent way to deal with it!

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Gwenci · 04/11/2016 09:45

Actually, I would LTB.
Totally humiliating you on social media?
I'm embarrassed for you.

Is this serious?

You would pack up all your things, split your shared assets, divide any money, consult lawyers and file for divorce, ripping up your entire lives together and all the shared history, memories and love that you've built over the years? On the basis of a (admittedly slightly ) FB status?

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