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To feel sad that my 3 year old needs glasses?

(105 Posts)
opalescent Fri 04-Nov-16 08:06:01

I took ds to the hospital yesterday for a check up with the optometrist, after noticing that he seemed to have a slight squint when watching the telly. I think I honestly thought they would just tell me that it was all fine, and nothing needed to be done.

Instead it turns out that he has quite poor vision, particularly in one eye. He needs glasses ASAP, which he will wear all he time, and there is a very high chance that they will also want to patch one eye following his next check up, to try and strengthen the other.

Admittedly I am pregnant and hormonal. But I just feel so sad and tearful! I love glasses, and I wear them. I don't have an issue with glasses as such. I just didn't expect poor ds to have poor vision so young, and also feel strange at the thought of him wearing glasses for the rest of his childhood- I know he will look gorgeous, and they will help him loads, it just feels scary and unexpected...

iwouldgoouttonight Fri 04-Nov-16 08:24:58

YANBU, I think it's a perfectly normal reaction. I felt similarly when DD was prescribed glasses around the same age, neither me or DP wear glasses so it was a bit of a shock, and i actually took her to another optician for a second opinion blush

But she loves her glasses, and now I can't imagine her not wearing them. And of course she is still perfect. I think it's important to make sure they don't see any of your doubts though (which I'm sure you won't) and he'll probably be really excited about them, especially as there are loads of great kids frames now. DD used to have some Mr Tickle ones which I loved. She's now older and prefers the 'teen' range.

NicknameUsed Fri 04-Nov-16 08:28:45

DD started wearing glasses at three. She will have to wear them for the rest of her life, but they are part of her now (she is 16). It hasn't held her back in any way. She has had plenty of interest from boys and she has several friends who wear them.

Far more small children wear glasses these days that it isn't considered unusual.

DollopofTrollop Fri 04-Nov-16 08:31:23

They are just glasses at the end of the day.
My DS needs to wear a helmet for drop seizures and AFO's which are leg splints !!!

Just glasses would be great !!!!

RebootYourEngine Fri 04-Nov-16 08:32:13

Try spinning your thoughts around and thinking of all the things that he will be able to see clearly now. Imagine what his life was like without glasses. It must have been hard for him.

YvaineStormhold Fri 04-Nov-16 08:34:42

My ds started wearing glasses age 6 months, and he has a serious visual impairment which will be lifelong.

I was upset, but honestly, now he's 16, I can't imagine him without them. He reaches for them before he's even opened his eyes in the morning.

I remember deciding to be grateful that there was something that could help him. You will get used to it, OP.

BabyJakeHatersClub Fri 04-Nov-16 08:38:04

I admire the honesty OP but I'm sure you know you are being unreasonable.

I had to wear these growing up (although, ironically, they're kind of vogue now. Thank god for LASIK is all I can say.

princessconsuelabannahammock Fri 04-Nov-16 08:38:26

My dd has just started wearing them and I feel sad. Her eyesight has started at a low point and will likely get worse. However there isn't the same stigma about kids wearing glasses and she loves them. Its better that she can see well but I wish she had got to adulthood first. Both her father and me wear glasses.

BadKnee Fri 04-Nov-16 08:41:13

I echo other posts. DD is 19 now - and sometimes wears contacts. (Expensive!) She is fine with it.

I admit it is a nuisance and obviously better not to have to wear them but no-one gets through life completely free of problems and glasses really are not a big one.

I understand how you feel though - I was really upset at the time. (DD was 6 when we realised)

BadKnee Fri 04-Nov-16 08:42:55

Sorry - "sometimes wears contacts" - the rest of the time wears her glasses - which she loves

imnervous Fri 04-Nov-16 08:44:33

I hated it at first too, my DS was also 3 when he got his glasses.

I'm now used to it and couldn't imagine him without them on and I'm now going to be always grateful that due to him needing them we discovered a tumour that he is currently needing chemotherapy to treat and without the rigorous testing we would have discovered that when it could have done far more damage

BishopBrennansArse Fri 04-Nov-16 08:45:43

YANBU. DS2 was 2 and they're so tiny aren't they?

All 3 of my kids wear glasses now!

catslife Fri 04-Nov-16 08:45:53

YABU. Obviously it's not what you hoped for but they have discovered a problem and wearing glasses now will help your ds a lot.
My dd started wearing glasses for squint from 15 months so aged 3 isn't that young. I was relieved because I had an eye operation when I was a child and early/earlier intervention meant that this didn't need to happen for dd.

happyoldtown Fri 04-Nov-16 08:49:29

Yeah i was upset to when my 5 year old had to get glasses.

She is quite sporty and its complicates things a little as she wears helmets for some things. As others have said they are part of her now. You'll get used to it in no time

OhTheRoses Fri 04-Nov-16 08:50:58

YANBU for feeling sad your ds has poor vision and needs his sight corrected.

But I think you are a wonderful mummy for picking it up, facilitating a check up, stopping him from having blurred vision and not participating or seeing all of the wonderful world around him. It's normal to worry and be a bit sad Tha his sight is less than perfect and he needs a bit of obvious help for it in the form of glasses and possibly a patch.


dontcrynow Fri 04-Nov-16 08:52:10

Try not to communicate your reaction to your child. I was prescribed glasses when I was about 8 years old, was very excited about it but was brought down to earth by my mother's first comment which was 'what a shame'. Its affected my view of myself in glasses ever since. irrational I know.

My2centsworth Fri 04-Nov-16 08:55:58

Absolutely normal reaction and no need for competitive child ailments we all hate when there is anything 'wrong' (glasses are not wrong) with our children. It comes as a blow.

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 04-Nov-16 08:57:57

Yanbu to be a little sad for him, but honestly he'll be fine and there are far worse things than glasses.

Dd was also 3 when she got hers and also had a patch. It was a good age actually as she was old enough to leave them on (actually she never once refused to wear them, it was like the world was suddenly clearer to her) but not old enough to be self conscious.

She has just turned 11 and has contacts now as she needs them for sports where glasses are not allowed, and even though she could ha e contacts all the time she wants her glasses

imjessie Fri 04-Nov-16 09:00:39

My son has had glasses since he was a baby. I cried my eyes out for days . He has special needs( we didn't know then) and I had been through so much with him being premature it finished me off ! But now he is 5 I don't care , also the other kids will start wearing glasses around now as they do eye tests in schools around this time . A lot of children will have needed glasses from 3 but it hasn't been picked up ..

Oysterbabe Fri 04-Nov-16 09:01:44

Yanbu to feel sad. She will be fine though flowers

Microwaste Fri 04-Nov-16 09:03:04

Really good that they've found it early though, if one eye needs patching it needs to be done before the age of 7 or 8 iirc otherwise it's ineffective.
My DD was born with a squint in both eyes and had surgery at 2 which largely corrected it. She then started wearing glasses and patches. It took a little while to get into the the habit, but now it's so much part of everyday life we don't even think about it. She has a lovely range of fabric eye patches and I'm just so glad of the fantastic care she's had from the opticians and ophthalmologists we've seen. Her vision is way better than it would have been without intervention - that's the end goal you need to keep in mind.

AppleJac Fri 04-Nov-16 09:06:09

I wore glasses as a child and hated them. I refused to wear them as a teen.

I don't need them now as I go for the standard eye tests and no prescription is needed.

When I was pregnant with dd I took vitamins for eye and spine development (pregnacare max) and when I went for my scans the sonographer commented on how the spine was perfect and dd age 4 now has no problems with her sight.

imjessie Fri 04-Nov-16 09:08:22

Ps ... I buy my son the coolest glasses in the shop . The NHS voucher covers some glasses but I pay to get better ones . This might not sit well with everyone but I fissure if he has to have them he can have the ones that look the best on him .. they might happen to be Ralph Lauren- .. grin

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 04-Nov-16 09:09:17

Very helpful AppleJac hmm

JinkxMonsoon Fri 04-Nov-16 09:11:04

The majority of children have perfect spines and no eye issues, Apple. It won't have been down to the vitamins.

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