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Do you think this is rude?

(22 Posts)
ThatGingerOne Thu 03-Nov-16 14:14:46

I want to save up for my mum's birthday next year for us both to go to a spa and get massages etc. I would be saving up from now as its about 9 months away. The spa is about a half an hour drive from where she lives.

I want to pay for the treatments (£60 each) however she would need to drive us there and back - would you accept this gift from your own DD if you had to drive? I don't think she would mind but I wanted to see what other people thought.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 03-Nov-16 14:15:43

Of course I would. It's a lovely idea.

AmeliaJack Thu 03-Nov-16 14:17:08

Of course it's not rude. It's your Mum.

It sounds like a lovely plan to spend some time together.

legotits Thu 03-Nov-16 14:17:19

It's her birthday so maybe shed like a drink?

Book an executive car to drop and collect you.
Upgrade from a taxi but not as ostentatious as a limo.

BillSykesDog Thu 03-Nov-16 14:17:29

I think that's really nice. Does your Mum dislike driving or something?

hellsbellsmelons Thu 03-Nov-16 14:18:07

My DD got me a spa day last year.
She couldn't drive at the time and I was happy to do so.
(Although Spa days are really not my thing it was nice to have some mother/daughter time)
Does your mum like spa days?
It's London for us this year.
A spur of the moment theatre ticket buy from Leicester square and some drinks!
She's able to drink now so all good.

skyyequake Thu 03-Nov-16 14:20:18

I think as long as you don't hand it to her and immediately go "of course you have to drive us" I think you'll be ok.

If she goes "oh how are we going to get there?" Then you could always just say "do you mind driving? Or would you like me to organise something else?"

On the whole I don't think she'll care, plenty of people give out leisure days or "drive a Ferrari" days without organising a way for the person to get there!

ThatGingerOne Thu 03-Nov-16 14:25:22

She does love a drink haha! However we probably wouldn't go on her actual birthday, more like the weekend after (I need to make sure she's free from work) we're a working class family and I am 19, currently away from home at uni so unfortunately a taxi/car would probably kill me financially grin

I'm sure she wouldn't mind driving but it is into a city so I didn't want to impose it on her to drive is all - I suppose we could get the train. I just wanted to see how other people might feel about being made to drive to something organised by someone else, even if it was for them.

She's never had a spa day but she really deserves one so I'd like to give her the experience.

legotits Thu 03-Nov-16 14:32:04

If a car/cab is out of budget can you rope anyone else in?
Uncle or aunt/ sibling?

A spa day wouldn't be spoiled by driving so it isn't a deal breaker.

Tis lovely that you are trying to make it perfect.
She will be made up smile

PetalMettle Thu 03-Nov-16 14:36:49

Sounds a lovely idea. I don't think I would think of a spa as somewhere to have a drink, it'd be different if you were going to a restaurant

skyyequake Thu 03-Nov-16 14:42:35

Tbh it's your mum, she's going to know you don't have much money at the moment and given how long you're going to be saving up, she's going to be completely made up! I'm sure she wouldn't imagine for a minute that you'd have organised transport if she knows you don't drive and aren't particularly flush!

From what you've said your mum seems lovely so I'm sure if you tell her that you wanted to organise a cab but couldn't afford it she'd tell you not to be so silly and how much she's looking forward to it!

Your mum is super lucky to have such a thoughtful daughter flowers

ThatGingerOne Thu 03-Nov-16 16:27:48

Thanks skyyequake, she certainly is ;)

The worry about driving isn't about her having a drink (which she wouldn't in the day anyway she hates wine etc) its just her having to drive IYSWIM

But yeah I think she'll enjoy it and she won't mind, just need to get saving now and decide between Swedish and Hot Stone!

RiverTam Thu 03-Nov-16 16:31:25

When my mum bought a spa weekend for me and my sister I had a hot stone massage, it was bloody lovely!

If she's not averse to driving in general I think it would be fine, if she's a reluctant driver I'd choose one you can get to by public transport.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 03-Nov-16 16:35:50

Is she comfortable driving in cities?

It's a lovely idea but if you're not sure, I think it would be best to ask her - not the details of what the treat is, but whether she'd be happy driving to that town at whatever time of day it would be.

monkeywithacowface Thu 03-Nov-16 16:36:59

If my 19 year old wanted to have a spa day with me for my birthday that would be lovely and the driving thing wouldn't be an issue. I don't know many mums that would expect their 19 year old to provide transport in these circumstances

witsender Thu 03-Nov-16 17:10:43

Most health spas don't have booze anyway.

Ifonlyiweretaller Thu 03-Nov-16 18:05:10

Definitely do the hot stone - one of the loveliest treatments I have ever had! I wouldn't personally want a full massage as I would be embarrassed, but the hot stone one means your body is not so exposed....
And you are a lovely daughter!

ThatGingerOne Thu 03-Nov-16 18:22:23

I was thinking hot stones, we both have bad backs (I think its too much boobage is the issue grin ) Apparently that's the best for deep tissue so will probably go with that one. Will start saving for sure and nearer the time ask her about when she's off work and if she's okay to drive into the city etc. Thanks so much for the help!

EJsqidge91 Thu 03-Nov-16 18:28:20

I think it's lovely. I did something similar with my nana, mum and my sister and we all loved it!

EssexGurl Thu 03-Nov-16 18:32:42

What a lovely idea - your Mum will love it. I am sure she would be happy to drive.

I took my Mum to the Sanctuary many, many years ago. It is one of my happiest memories of her. Just a day for us.

You are a wonderful daughter.

dylsmimi Thu 03-Nov-16 18:38:31

I think it's a lovely idea and I am sure your mum won't mind driving. If you had the budget you can always have a bottle of champagne or proseco waiting in the fridge for when you return all relaxed
Are you on groupon? Lots of spas have special offers on there so it may be worth checking or when you book ask if they do any deals for you

SparklesandBangs Thu 03-Nov-16 18:49:42

I have a 19 year old uni DD who can't drive, if she wanted to treat me to a spa day I'd happily drive. However having had similar treatments before I'd rather have one locally with a short drive that a long drive home as you feel really relaxed after and driving would spoil that.

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