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To ask how much you give for wedding gifts

(63 Posts)
isitginoclock Thu 03-Nov-16 08:50:28

Off to a cousins wedding tomorrow. We're not particularly close, and having to travel 4 hours each way to the wedding. They've requested cash as a present, as their house is fully furnished. How much should I give?

sofatrainer Thu 03-Nov-16 08:55:20

How long is a piece of string? For a cousin we would give about £150-200 but that's just our family and crowd. Others would give £20/30/40 or whatever. Why not ask other members of your family what they are giving and then decide what you're happy and able to give.

MuseumOfCurry Thu 03-Nov-16 08:56:21

I'd mark anyone's gift down by 50% if they specifically asked for cash.

girlygirlgirly Thu 03-Nov-16 08:59:58

We recently gave £40 cash. Close friend but had already bought a special hen present.

5moreminutes Thu 03-Nov-16 09:00:15

Nowhere remotely close to £150-200 shock

DH comes from a culture where people automatically give money but nobody gave anything like that much.

How much would you have spent on a present? Just give that much...

I'd say £50 is a good amount though.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 03-Nov-16 09:06:11

I'd say £50 too. I would go up to about £100 for a very close relative.

NerrSnerr Thu 03-Nov-16 09:06:51

We usually give £40 or £50 to most unless very close friends or family.

Doje Thu 03-Nov-16 09:11:33

I tend to give £100 from me and DH. They say to cover your meal. I think when I got married the meal was about £25 a head, plus champers on arrival, for toasts, coffee after meal. I reckon it'd come in about £75 for the two of us, but that's an awkward number, so I round it up to £100.

Allthewaves Thu 03-Nov-16 09:14:03

£30 to £50 - money's super tight for us

KayTee87 Thu 03-Nov-16 09:18:55

We give £100 if we're there all day but just give what you can afford and what feels right. It's rude of them to ask for money, gift lists are also rude in my opinion though.

ChicRock Thu 03-Nov-16 09:20:32

£50 here.

Very close friend or family we'd give £100.

KayTee87 Thu 03-Nov-16 09:20:50

When we got married last year lots of people gave us cash and I can't remember who gave what amount as it's not important. I couldn't even tell you if there was people that didn't bring a gift, we didn't ask for anything.

Shadowboy Thu 03-Nov-16 09:24:11

Usually what we think it cost them to host us plus a bit. So generally about £100. If they've asked for something specifiic we will pick something close to that price

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest Thu 03-Nov-16 09:28:26

I always spend around £50 on a present so I'd say that's a nice amount. Plus if you can find an actual £50 note (go to a bank and ask when you withdraw?) then that's rather unusual to get too.

Oysterbabe Thu 03-Nov-16 09:30:31

Usually £50.
At our wedding that is also what most people gave.

Statelychangers Thu 03-Nov-16 09:32:09

£100

elQuintoConyo Thu 03-Nov-16 09:38:24

€100. I have only ever been to close family's or close friends' weddings.

When I have had to fly out to it, they have always waived gifts/money and suggested very well-priced hotels for us.

If it was someone I didn't really know that well (eg some of my cousins) then I wouldn't go at all.

A friend had very very generous guests at her wedding and they were able to buy a car shock

AppleJac Thu 03-Nov-16 09:58:16

I think it's better to ask for cash if you already have your own home etc otherwise gifts can be a waste of money if the recipient doesn't like it

2014newme Thu 03-Nov-16 09:59:27

£50

MadisonAvenue Thu 03-Nov-16 10:02:44

£50 for a nephew's wedding recently, but we had a 3 hour drive each way and an overnight stay.

For a friend's evening reception we took a bottle of wine despite them putting a crap poem asking for no gifts and cash only in with the invitation.

flowery Thu 03-Nov-16 10:06:56

Not sure how what other people give at weddings they attend is going to help you? People have different levels of income, budgetary commitments, cultural habits etc etc

Just give whatever you would have spent on a present.

welcometowonderland Thu 03-Nov-16 10:11:07

If it's cash it will be £10 -20 gift card, or if we're very close to the pair/family etc it will be around £30-50.

At our wedding we received a mixture of gifts , some big some small, from a £5 voucher to a £300 expensive item.
We appreciated each one equally

expatinscotland Thu 03-Nov-16 10:20:21

Oh, those crap poems that basically say 'No gifts but really we do want gifts but only if it's money', Madison, they take the prize for crass.

'I think it's better to ask for cash if you already have your own home etc otherwise gifts can be a waste of money if the recipient doesn't like it'

Don't you think your guests have enough of a brain to think, 'Oh, they've got their own house set up, I'll give them a voucher/money/gift card' without having to demand their open their purses or you won't like it?

FrankAndBeans Thu 03-Nov-16 10:38:08

£50 if a full day guest.

IScreamYouScream Thu 03-Nov-16 10:53:13

I hate it when people ask outright for cash, although I understand why they do it. A fully furnished homes means that you don't want/need gifts, which is a reasonable request, but I don't think there's a non-grabby way to extend that to actually asking for cash instead. I probably would give cash/vouchers anyway to a simple 'no-gifts' request.

The most recent invitation I've received has asked for 'contributions towards our honeymoon'. What do you want, luggage labels/suncream/kinky undies? If you don't get enough cash, will you go without your holiday? I'm being flippant yes, but it does make me cringe a bit. I will however give them the cash they have asked for. Maybe £30-40 for friends.

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