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To send thank you cards from my children

(158 Posts)
Badgoushk Wed 02-Nov-16 20:05:35

...and expect at least an acknowledgment of gifts?

I'm 39 so not terribly old but I wonder if I'm being old fashioned?

Background: I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and whenever they receive gifts I always send a thank you card. I intend to do this until they can write their own. Is this weird? I thought it was standard stuff but we never ever receive cards ourselves from other children/parents. In fact, I would say that 75% of the time, we don't even get a text to say thank you either or even a verbal thank you next time we meet.


Leeds2 Wed 02-Nov-16 20:23:53

YANBU. My DD is 18 now, but I used to do this when she was small.

Me624 Wed 02-Nov-16 20:28:38

Thank you cards are the norm amongst my circle of friends. Ive only got one baby DS but friends with older ones write them until child is old enough to maybe draw a picture and then send that instead.

princesspineapple Wed 02-Nov-16 20:51:01

We send thank you cards but practically nobody we know does. I think it's a bit sad really sad
I once received a thank you snapchat. hmm

Note3 Wed 02-Nov-16 20:56:43

We send thank you cards but very few ppl do now. Approx 60% of the time we get an acknowledgement text or FB msg but I can count on one hand the amount of cards

Marylou2 Wed 02-Nov-16 21:00:30

I always send thankyous. When DD was small I enclosed a recent picture of her. She writes her own now but it's just part of raising a well mannered child. Don't worry about what others do OP,you are doing the right thing.

LuluNTutu Wed 02-Nov-16 21:01:33

YANBU. I always send thank you cards and most of my friends do too.

LaundryQueenHatesIroning Wed 02-Nov-16 21:12:52

I'm not a fan personally. I think all cards are a waste of time and trees though. My only exception might be a wedding or very formal event where you also thank someone for attending and a gift.

I think a thank you said in person/phone call, even text is acceptable for all other gifts. Not saying thank you at all is rude though.

cardibach Wed 02-Nov-16 21:16:09

I always send thank yous but never as cards. I don't like cards, they are a waste of resources and money and their transport creates pollution. A text, call or email is fine. I don't like thank yous (even not as cards) where an adult awrites in the voice of their very young child either - too twee and artificial.

Thefishewife Wed 02-Nov-16 21:44:51

My kids 16 year old has to do this I tell him if you don't want to say thank you don't expect the gift he has done this since he was able to write

I will do the little ones and when there 5/6 and they can write they will do there own

Wendalicious Wed 02-Nov-16 22:23:14

If I get a thank you card in the post, I read it and put straight in bin- what else are we supposed to do with them! Kids did them for class parties but hate people that demand them- I'm talking to you MIL hmm

megletthesecond Wed 02-Nov-16 22:25:23

Yanbu. Written ones for friends and photo cards + scribble for relatives.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain Wed 02-Nov-16 22:29:39

I never did cards, oh no. We were expected to write a full on letter to each gift giver, complete with family news, descriptions of birthday activities, and enquiries as to the giver's own health and that of their family. This has stuck with me, so much so that a mere card seems meagre in comparison grin

FrancisCrawford Wed 02-Nov-16 22:29:56

I'm fine with a thank you in person or by a phone call. A card is always lovely though! And getting a photo of the child is nice too. It just seems more personal.

Sending a text is just a bit too casual - although it's better than nothing. I never used to know if presents sent to DNS in Irekand had even arrived, fsr less if the DNS had enjoyed their birthdays.

JeanGenie23 Wed 02-Nov-16 22:31:59

No I think it's a lovely thing to do. Aside from saying thank you in person (which goes without saying) I always send thank you cards from DD. She is only 20months so she gets involved to and it's something the recipient can keep.

Badgoushk Wed 02-Nov-16 22:32:00

I understand the environmental impact but I think it's still good manners.

I'm just astounded at the complete absence of thanks. Especially when I've found something really perfect for the recipient that I think they'll love and then it's never mentioned (opened after a party or on Xmas day when I'm not there).

DixieWishbone Wed 02-Nov-16 22:34:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jaytee38 Wed 02-Nov-16 22:37:30

Ive got a little collection of home made cards from my friends children if I gave them a gift. I love getting them

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Thu 03-Nov-16 07:30:10

I had to write thank you letters as a child for all gifts and if I'd received money I had to explain what I was planning to spend it on. Ergo when I had my DC - both boys - I tried to make them do similar - we did it while they were little but now teenagers it's almost impossible - I do make them call and/ or text to say thank you though. I love receiving thank you cards from friends' children but there were plenty I never heard a bean from - didn't even know if they'd actually received the gift. I found this incredibly rude. I remember having a hand made painting for a child's bedroom done for my goddaughter - my parents actually delivered it to their house - going well out of their way on their return home after spending Christmas with me. Never heard a dickie bird from either mum (my cousin) or goddaughter.

Laiste Thu 03-Nov-16 07:50:33

YANBU to want a thanks of some kind - verbal or by text would be easy enough. Not saying thank you at all is rude. However i think writing cards out on one a one year old's behalf and expecting ones back is the opposite extreme these days. And a bit out dated.

I was made to sit and write piles of bloody thank you actual letters as a kid at and xmas and i hated it and it sucked out the joy to be honest. Sometimes i would have already said thanks or could have done it with a quick phone call. My mother would be making notes of who had bought what as i opened them so that i got the details right. Then when i was old enough i was expected to make the notes. In the card I had to include some anecdote relevant to the present and all the hope you are wells ect. Hand writing had to be neat, start again if you fucked up, envelope had to be perfect otherwise the postman would throw it away (hmm). Leafing through a massive sodding address book to try to find all the addresses.

My mother insisted i made my kids do it and i hated that as well and wish i hadn't gone along with it! (ours were a quick scribble on a pretty pre printed card mind you) IMO it was all always more about how much of a wonderful parent it made her look rather than genuinely wanting to thank anyone. My eldest is 23 now and my mother still pokes and prods me about weather she's sent Aunt Fanny a thank you card. No mum, she sent her a text i think. Que <horror> and a tut.

LittleLionMansMummy Thu 03-Nov-16 08:26:31

We've done a mix of thank you cards and texts (texts for ds's school friends who come to his parties). I don't think we've ever received a thank you - text or card - and it really winds me up. Yanbu op, but many will tell you that you are - which I think is very sad. We are turning out a generation of grabby, materialistic ingrates.

gillys Thu 03-Nov-16 08:37:14

My daughter is 19, I always did thank you cards when she was small & she still does them herself now for older relatives but emails others. I always told her if you don't say thank you, people won't bother to buy a gift in future.
Seems now that people either dont bother at all, which is plain rude or you get a printed photo of the child that says thank you on it, which I suppose is at least an acknowledgment but no input from the child themselves, I'd like them to at least write their own name on it.

TheLambShankRedemption Thu 03-Nov-16 08:39:45

I much prefer people thanking in person as you do the handing over. Anything over that just seems fake to me.

SpareASquare Thu 03-Nov-16 08:43:48

My children always, always said thank you when given a gift and if it was a party, another thank you when each guest left. They appreciated each and every gift received. Perfectly acceptable to me and I'd probably question someones need for more on top. That kind of expectation makes it all about them.

CheeseAtFourpence Thu 03-Nov-16 08:47:02

I always do thank you cards for family and my small group of friends. However it isn't the done thing with the school mums - a Facebook thank you seems to be the most that anyone does.

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