AIBU to have banned technology?

[WhooooAmI24601]

The DCs have recently taken a bit of a nose-dive with their behaviour; back chatting, fighting and arguing and generally causing riots at home (elsewhere behaviour is generally very good, and I know they have to let off steam but still). This weekend I went bezerk and banned them from the tv, dvd player, iPads, laptops, pretty much all technology. I left it open-ended and said that only when they learned to get along would they earn their lovely things back, one thing at a time. So far they've been utter shites, fighting and trying to maim each other on the sofas while I hide in the kitchen on MN. There's been no real improvement in behaviour at all, though they've played more with board games and toys they'd never normally use.

AIBU to ban them from technology like this or have I cut off my nose to spite my face? And how long do I leave it before switching on Phineas and Ferb so they leave me in peace?

[MaddyHatter]

hold your ground, i would also set them some chores and some ground rules/goals so they have something to work towards.

[bumsexatthebingo]

I would keep the ban and when they earn it back restrict it if they are on it all the time. There is a lot of research suggesting that too much screen time is the cause of many behavioural issues.

[paxillin]

Depends how old the kids are. 8 or under, keep at it for 5 years, 11ish might be hard after a couple of weeks, teenagers you might find harder.

[e1y1]

Keep at it, and I would keep going - if they haven't already lost pocket money, activities, seeing friends etc - they would be losing that shortly too.

They have to be taught there are consequences for actions.

[noisewithdirton]

I have to do this periodically as it is the only thing that works sometimes! I get them to earn back small chunks of time so 10 minutes for doing a job or I time them how long they can be nice to each other and they get a proportion of time related to that.

[WhooooAmI24601]

They are 11 and 5 and the older one has ASD, but is very high functioning and the majority of his bad behaviour is choice-based not ASD-based. It's driving me bonkers that they're still behaving as though they don't care. The 11 year old came home tonight and asked for tv, I refused and made him hoover, all he tells me is "so-and-so's mum doesn't do this to him". I feel like an ultra-bitch-from-hell but they really have been awful recently.

I keep leaving the room and reminding myself not to back down, not to give in, it's so much harder than it used to be when they were tiny.

[paxillin]

11 and 5? Stick to it. Especially the younger one won't benefit from screen time at all.

[Limitless]

I think open ended punishments are a bit harsh and don't work that well. I'd have banned them for a shorter period (and then banned them again if necessary) . Telling them they can earn it back is a bit vague too.

[paxillin]

No or very little screentime for a 5 year old isn't necessarily punishment though. More like a resetting to a more normal schedule save for the odd movie/ kids tv.

[gillybeanz]

Can you teach them how to behave? Perhaps hoovering should be done as a helping out type of activity, for small reward.
time without technology is brilliant and I think maybe look to do this more often, not as a punishment.
Can you offer them some board games where they need to play together, or some other shared activity where they need to get on.
I do think siblings are like this, mine have always loved each other and woe betide anyone who hurt the other, but they'd fight like Tom and Jerry, or Itchy and Scratchy.