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To be pissed off with DH and his attitude towards giving stuff away for free?

(28 Posts)
user1473509591 Wed 02-Nov-16 13:58:15

Every season I sort out the kids clothes to make space for the new lot, and every year we have this argument. First it starts with DH saying 'what are you going to do with all that, we don't have space to keep it' to which I reply 'I'll sell them for a tenner but it no one wants to pay I'll give them for free'. Now, although we wouldn't turn down our noses at abit of extra money, we simply don't have space to store these clothes and yet I get blamed when we do end up keeping them for longer. This is because dh absolutely hates giving stuff away for free, and always overcomplicates things by wanting to sell little bundles at a time to make more money. By the time I've sorted out stained stuff (young kids) there's usually not enough to justify selling by age. I just want to get rid of it!

Gwenci Wed 02-Nov-16 14:06:36

I'm with you - I just want things gone as easily and quickly as possible, so YANBU

However, your DH is also NBU as long as he's prepared to do all the sorting/advertising/waiting in for buyers etc.

He would BU to expect you to do it.

pennycarbonara Wed 02-Nov-16 14:07:12

Why doesn't he participate in sorting and cleaning it if he wants to sell it?

Dontpanicpyke Wed 02-Nov-16 14:08:15

Totally with you op.

NickyEds Wed 02-Nov-16 14:11:57

YANBU. If he wants to bundle them up then leave him to it, if you're doing the job then it gets done your way.

CurlyBlueberry Wed 02-Nov-16 14:29:02

YANBU at all. I actually find kids clothes can be quite difficult to sell and very time-consuming for not much gain (then again my kids tended to stain clothes, or they got washworn if they were favourite items, or whatever - maybe people buying good-quality 'designer' items with not much wear would find differently).

If he doesn't want to give them away for free, he spends the time sorting/organising etc.

thingsthatgoflumpinthenight Wed 02-Nov-16 14:31:12

YANBU. I give just about everything that's not falling apart to charity shops.

Way too much faff trying to sell things. Tell your H nobody likes a meanie.

ParadiseCity Wed 02-Nov-16 14:32:06

Life's too short to sell things on imo unless you are struggling to fund their replacements.

I pass onto a couple of friends who I know appreciate handmedowns, or gift aid it to a good charity shop.

ParadiseCity Wed 02-Nov-16 14:32:45

Sorry meant to say, YANBU, that attitude would piss me off too.

HyacinthFuckit Wed 02-Nov-16 14:33:52

YANBU. It's true that it's often possible to make money from kids old clothes, done it myself, but there's also a time, effort and storage cost and you have to factor in whether that makes it worthwhile. But if he wants to do things differently, he can take over responsibility, and that includes storing for any time longer than taking it all to the nearest charity shop would take.

Isitlunchtimeyet Wed 02-Nov-16 14:34:04

I'm with you, bundle it up into 1 or 2 lots, sell it on Facebook,
If I've still got it a week later I chuck it in the clothes bank,
If he wants to mess around with individual items tell him to sell it himself

user1473509591 Wed 02-Nov-16 14:34:32

We don't have a car so I find it difficult to take them to a charity shop but I'm more than happy to give them away on Facebook. Half the time they get resold on but tbh it's such a faff I honestly couldn't care less. He just cant bare the thought of someone else making money on them. Drives me nuts! And no he doesn't help, unfortunately it's the old cliché of not trusting him to do it properly, he's helped me before and I had to go over it all again because he forgot to look for stains, just read the size label.

rightsofwomen Wed 02-Nov-16 14:36:46

I wouldn't be pissed of at him wanting to make a bit of money, but I'd be very, very pissed off at him moaning at me to do it his way. Do it himself!

scallopsrgreat Wed 02-Nov-16 14:37:26

He's a grown man FFS. Surely he manages to remember two things at work at the same time? It's sorting through clothes not nuclear physics. Tell him to get a grip and do the job properly otherwise fuck off and leave you to do it how you want to do it.

Topseyt Wed 02-Nov-16 14:41:45

My DH would do this, if I let him. He would dump it all aside in a heap and say that he was going to Ebay it for extra money. Except he would never ever get around to doing it. Two or three years later it would still be there.

I don't let him get involved with things like that now (lesson learned the hard way). I just charity shop the stuff without saying anything to him or giving him the chance to comment.

LunaLoveg00d Wed 02-Nov-16 14:46:24

My inlaws are like this. They have a house full of clothes they'll never wear again because they're either very out of fashion or too big/small and they won't take them to the charity shop. FIL knows how much they cost new and although that money is spent and gone and not coming back, he seems to think that it is best to hang on to the 1970s suit with the flares and lapels because "it cost good money".

SpunkyMummy Wed 02-Nov-16 14:48:03


previously1474907171 Wed 02-Nov-16 14:48:29

You can also give things away on Streetlife and have the option of choosing other areas. I would do that.

I find I end up with loads of stuff that I should Ebay, and get so sick of it in the end I give it away.

IamaBluebird Wed 02-Nov-16 14:55:28

Flares and lapels sounds good. Bet my dh s wedding suit looked like that smile

onecurrantbun1 Wed 02-Nov-16 15:06:31

I have bought clothes bundles before but I have a contact now - I bought the first lot when DD1 was 6m and realised her DD is 2 years older so now she texts when she has a load and I give her £15 a time. It probably works out 30p or so an item so barely worth it generally.

Personally when getting rid I'd take Boden, Frugi, Jojo, Monsoon items out as they have good resale value ime and then give away the rest.

LittlePaintBox Wed 02-Nov-16 15:12:42

YANBU, unless he offers to do the selling himself (in which case I'd give him a deadline, after which you'll give it away), dispose of them how you want.

Spindelina Wed 02-Nov-16 15:14:25

The system in our house is that if one of us can be bothered to sell something, they get to keep the proceeds. A lot of stuff gets given away!

AdoraBell Wed 02-Nov-16 15:22:49

If he wants to sell it he can sell it. If it needs sorting first, he can sort it. His choice, his responsibility.

Just hand it all over to him and when he complains about no space ask him what he's done about X bundle of clothes and why it's still sitting there?

CeeceeBloomingdale Wed 02-Nov-16 15:30:29

YANBU. although we could do with extra cash I just bag it up charity shop it and consider it to be my donation to charity

blitheringbuzzards1234 Wed 02-Nov-16 15:46:17

He is being unfair. The trouble is that were you to sell them at a car-boot sale or Bring and Buy it could be that an unscrupulous type will haggle over the price and then offer it later on their stall for more!
Are there any small regular car-boot sales near you (ie at a school yard, not too far to walk/carry your items as no car? These can be fairly profitable although you'd have the difficulty of transporting something like a wallpaper pasting-table to display them on.
Alternatively why not use an 'in-out' system? When a new item is bought, chuck one older stained item out? -- Without mentioning to DH if he wants to get shitty about it.

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