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to ask if you have ever been envious of a friend's career?

(30 Posts)
Pilotress Wed 02-Nov-16 08:21:49

What did you do to get over it?

ScrubbedPine Wed 02-Nov-16 08:32:38

Yes, friend who is a successful novelist. I used it as a spur to write my own novel.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve Wed 02-Nov-16 08:40:48

Yes and I can't get over it which is pathetic and no help blush A friend I had a uni, very successful in the field we trained in whilst I work in my local supermarket. I think it bugs me because she was quite lazy at uni and didn't seem bothered so I childishly feel its not faiiirrrr. Its my problem though, not hers.

alltouchedout Wed 02-Nov-16 08:42:58

Yes, but I had a word with myself and accepted I wasn't prepared to put up with a lot of the bullshit that comes along with what she does. And recently I got a job I love so that's helpedsmile

Henrysmycat Wed 02-Nov-16 09:23:25

When me and my friend from university graduated, we both got a position for a major investment bank. I couldn't hack it because I was quite immature. There's a difference between being clever and handing in assignments and work.
I left after almost a year and went back to my subject which pays well but not banking well.
We are still close, so I did feel jealousy when he threw a massive party at his 5 mil mansion to declare his retirement at 40something and the start of charity work with quite a few millions to his name.
For me, it was more of a "what if?" and "why was I so ready to give up?"
But my life turned out fine so it's fine.

spankhurst Wed 02-Nov-16 09:29:39

No. I am reasonably professionally successful but wouldn't want to have any more stress/hours/responsibility. I feel lucky to have found this balance. I do have wealthier, more high-powered friends but don't envy them.

heron98 Wed 02-Nov-16 10:52:04

I have a friend who is in a well=paid job in a University. Her boss is very slack so she usually works about 10-4, sometimes takes days off for the hell of it and always has at least an hour for lunch. I am very jealous of that as she is not really earning her wage.

SexNamesRFab Wed 02-Nov-16 11:01:09

Yes I have. At first I was bemused at how she did so well and thought I was just lazy in comparison. Then I got smarter and started to ask her for career advice and have improved my own professional life immeasurably since.

Bloopbleep Wed 02-Nov-16 11:04:54

Not a friend but my brother. I studied hard at uni, struggled to get jobs and promotions and ended up a career for an elderly relative. My brother was kicked out of uni, spent his life partying yet everything landed at his feet. I got ill health he got dream opportunities. I'm pleased he's done so well with his life but when I think about how hard I worked to get somewhere and how little he did. Everything was handed to him on a plate and I am envious that he seemed to get it all when I got left with arse wiping.

birdybirdywoofwoof Wed 02-Nov-16 11:08:48


Always grin

NickyEds Wed 02-Nov-16 11:09:22

No but I'm sometimes very jealous of the ones I read about on mn! So many people on here seem to work totally flexibly around their children, doing things they love for lots of money!

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Wed 02-Nov-16 11:09:53

No, my friends have massively boring jobs.

I do know a couple of tattoo artists which would be cool but surgery screwed up my hand so it's not feasable anyway.

AlmaMartyr Wed 02-Nov-16 11:11:07

Yes, often. I just focus on being very proud of them instead. Also, chatting to them often makes me realise how even very exciting careers can have massive downsides. Still envious, but often it makes me aware that I couldn't cope.

wizzywig Wed 02-Nov-16 11:11:32

Im sometimes jealous of friends who get free childcare on tap whilst i pay near £1000 a month for it.

lightcola Wed 02-Nov-16 11:15:11

I'm jealous of everyone's career at the moment. I've just given mine up to move with DH across the country and now I'm at home heavily pregnant and with a 3 year old to keep entertained. Chances are we won't be able to to afford me going back to work thanks to childcare costs. Therefore I resent everyone.

ChangedToday Wed 02-Nov-16 11:17:16

On occasion I get a bit jealous of some of my friends' salaries and high flying careers but then i remind myself of their interminable commutes or extended working hours. I chose this part-time job in this location for a reason smile and am very happy with my work-life balance.

Nurszilla Wed 02-Nov-16 11:18:39

Yes, I'm massively jealous of my best friends career as it makes her so happy whereas mine is soul-destroying. I tell her how much I envy her frequently and she dismisses me, stating that my career is so much more interesting, more money etc.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

OhBollocksFuck Wed 02-Nov-16 11:19:14

There's a woman around the corner from me who worked in the legal profession for many years, gave it all up at 42 and became a dog walker and sitter.

I'm not jealous of this but I absolutely aspire to it. I want to follow her path almost to the letter.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve Wed 02-Nov-16 11:22:54

I forgot to add, all my siblings have professional careers too, I feel envious of them rather than jealous. I'm seriously thinking its time to do something about my situation but to be quite honest I'm probably not cut out for a high pressure job and have no clue what I want to do anyway.

Oogle Wed 02-Nov-16 11:23:15

Yes, I'm envious. I'd love a "proper" career...but then they're envious of where I live. Swings and roundabouts, I guess.

No idea how you get over it, just use it as a tool to spur you on?

Antifrank Wed 02-Nov-16 11:33:35

Don't be envious, the green eyed monster will eat you up. Some people get lucky, some people give the impression of having a great job but the reality is shite, some people work really hard and have the right attitude/mindset.

If you are not happy with what you do, then change it. I know that sounds glib, but we ware all in control of our destinies.

ScrubbedPine Wed 02-Nov-16 12:12:32

Chances are we won't be able to to afford me going back to work thanks to childcare costs

Honestly, cola, there will be a way for you to return to work, even if it involves considerable short-term sacrifice, financial and otherwise. Of course you're feeling resentful if your family set-up views your career is completely expendable, while your husband's is so important the family ups sticks and moves across the country!

bibliomania Wed 02-Nov-16 12:18:47

10 years ago, I did a Masters in a particular area which led to some exciting international career opportunities. I came top of the class but was also pregnant so couldn't make the most of the opportunities. I've been stuck in one location while it feels like everyone else (less worthy than me, damn it!) jetted off to do fantastic things. So in one way, I'm massively jealous. But anyone who was living that dream for the last decade is almost certainly burnt out and starting to worry about family life etc. You can't do everything simultaneously.

AmyGDalae Wed 02-Nov-16 12:29:45

No. I love both my previous career and am excited by the one I am currently retraining for. Firm believer of the you only live once sentiment. If I no longer like it or find myself envious then I will just reconsider my options and take the necessary steps to change things.

lightcola Wed 02-Nov-16 18:20:32

Thank you scrubbed I've been feeling really low these past few days and missing being at work. This is the second time I've given up a job to move and support my DH.

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