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To have called the police about this?

(54 Posts)
Robbabank Tue 01-Nov-16 22:42:13

We live in an 'edgy' (dodgy) inner city area but one that has plenty of families in flats etc. Called into local convenience store around the corner from our home for milk and essentials with my 2 daughters (7 & 9) on way home this evening at about 7pm. We had just been to a little event and the girls had had their faces painted with day of the dead patterns - they were all happy... On leaving the shop there were 4 or 5 young men standing just outside the doorway (about 18-21yrs - all wearing hoodies so hard to see their faces). They moved aside for us to get past and they were talking loudly amongst themselves but seemed to be occupied with their own conversation. Car was parked just outside the shop and I belted my girls in and closed the doors, then went to the boot to put in the shopping. When I came around and got in the front my 9yo daughter's face was turned to the side and she was crying. She said that one of the guys had opened her door and leaned in to her and said "Trick or treat!".
She was really upset, frightened and shocked and couldn't quite process that it had happened.

I can see that the idiot who did this would see it as just a harmless prank, but am I right in thinking it's an intimidating act towards a child? Or are there any repercussions for opening someone's car door without permission?
I know this group of lads to see. They stalk around our area, checking out cars and I've seen them hassle another young man and then minutes later rob a bike from a young lad a few months ago on the same stretch of main road.
I've not had any run-ins with them myself and I doubt they know me by sight as, unlike me, they don't really have to.
Anyway I called it in to the police and they're coming round early in the morning to take a statement.
In a way it is better that I didn't catch them in the act as I would definitely have shouted at them and asked wtf they thought they were doing (adrenalin!), but I realise I wouldn't really have known what to do after that and would have been leaving myself and my 2 children vulnerable to further harassment from them.
It's angers me too on gender lines as I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't have happened if it had been their father belting them into the car and it leaves me feeling very frustrated that women and girls are perceived as easy targets by these guys (well, one of them).
So, am I AIBU to call it in to the police? I've explained it wasn't personal and was just showing off, but what else can I do to reassure and empower my daughter(s)?

DearMrDilkington Tue 01-Nov-16 22:43:44

How did you not realize someone had opened the door while you were putting shopping in the boot?confused

Audreyhelp Tue 01-Nov-16 22:44:41

Not nice but would not have called police you could make yourself a target.

Littlefish Tue 01-Nov-16 22:45:16

I think you've over reacted here. I'm sorry your dd was frightened, but I really don't think this was a police matter.

SaucyJack Tue 01-Nov-16 22:46:25

What the H?

I think you're overreacting massively, and will have the opposite effect to reassuring and empowering your daughters.

GetOutMyCar Tue 01-Nov-16 22:46:51

What crime do you think was committed? confused

Wrinklytights Tue 01-Nov-16 22:49:30

Why were you belting your daughters in at age 7 and 9?! Surely they can get in the car snd do their own belts? YABU to have called the police. What do you think they are going to do about it?

ineedamoreadultieradult Tue 01-Nov-16 22:50:55

How did you not notice that whilst putting the shopping in the boot?

Scrumptiousbears Tue 01-Nov-16 22:51:21

Firstly I know this is upsetting, I'd be furious.

Secondly you didn't know a random man had opened the car door with your kids in it hmm. Anything could have happened. shock

A crime hasn't been committed. You don't know who did this. What do you expect the police to do? There is a thread on here about calling the police for random crap. This is one of them. You are probably feeling guilty that it happened on your watch. I know I would be. I know I sound harsh. It just learn from it OP.

Note3 Tue 01-Nov-16 22:52:06

Have to be honest, I think the worst they'd get is an official telling off whereas you would then highly likely put yourself on this groups radar for at best heckling and intimidation, at worst actual nastiness and crime.

If I was you I would remain vigilant and reduce likelihood of contact with them but I would definitely not report this minor incident to the police)

Brokenbiscuit Tue 01-Nov-16 22:54:12

I can see that it wasn't a nice thing to do, but unless there is some fairly important information missing from your op, I can't quite fathom why your dd was so upset or why you would think it necessary to call the police about something that seems quite trivial on the face of it. Is there more that you haven't told us?

BratFarrarsPony Tue 01-Nov-16 22:54:58

massive over reaction sorry. You do have to live there after all.
'Belting my girls in' - can they not do that themselves?

Brokenbiscuit Tue 01-Nov-16 22:56:12

And yes, how did you not notice someone approaching your car and opening the door? confused

Audreyhelp Tue 01-Nov-16 22:57:33

You weren't in a big supermarket. Somehow one of the hoodies walked over opened car door spoke to your daughter and made her cry . This does not add up.

Robbabank Tue 01-Nov-16 22:59:03

Dear Mr D - because it's an estate and the boot lifts right up and obscures the view. And it was 7pm and nighttime (i.e. dark), and it was done literally in the moment that I raised the boot and bowed my head to put in the bags. I was looking into the boot and not forward or to the side to see the front of the car.
Saucy Jack - have the opposite
Getoutmycar- that's what I'm asking. I'm not a cop, I'm wondering if it IS some kind of an offence. I'm not screaming crime, just wondering what you all think.
So far that's YABU so that's fair enough.
Would be interested to hear what you think you would have done though if (a) you'd caught them in the act of opening your car door and leaning into your child, and (b) if you'd just missed it (because they were fast, sly little buggers).

FireSquirrel Tue 01-Nov-16 23:03:34

The day of the dead is a Mexican festival of huge cultural and spiritual significance, it is nothing to do with halloween and isn't an excuse to play dress up. Are you Mexican? Dolling your children up in day of the dead facepaint is cultural appropriation. It's your ignorance which is unreasonable, not a teen playing an illjudged but harmless prank on your child.

BratFarrarsPony Tue 01-Nov-16 23:03:45

HOnestly I think I would have shouted at them to fuck off, but that's just me.

witchofzog Tue 01-Nov-16 23:04:25

I really wouldn't have done that. It was a stupid thing for the young man to do but probably ill thought out rather than malicious. No crime was committed and you are almost certainly putting yourself on the radar by reporting this non event. Cancel your statement for your own future peace of mind.

pleasethankyouthankyouplease Tue 01-Nov-16 23:04:50

I'd be shocked and upset too.

Meadows76 Tue 01-Nov-16 23:09:33

Wasting police time.

ExitPursuedBySpartacus Tue 01-Nov-16 23:10:38

Interested to know what offence has been committed.

Do they sell grips in the shop?

aforestgrewandgrew Tue 01-Nov-16 23:11:01

FireSquirrel WTF?

You think now is the time for a lecture on cultural appropriation?

Are you actually interested in educating people about cultural appropriation (in which case, you might want to rethink your approach if you want it to have any effect) or are you just trying to score points?

Caboodle Tue 01-Nov-16 23:14:18

FFS - another example of the OP getting an unecessarily hard time. I wouldn"t have called the police no but I can see how you were shook up OP.

WatchingFromTheWings Tue 01-Nov-16 23:14:46

YABU. They upset your DC but I don't think a crime was committed.

I live in a relatively safe area and once my kids are in the back the doors are locked immediately, especially at night.

DearMrDilkington Tue 01-Nov-16 23:15:11

This is all so strange.

Move on and make sure you keep an eye out next time.

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