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Embarrassing body issues after childbirth!!!

(22 Posts)
hollowsorrow Tue 01-Nov-16 13:39:15

Hi everyone, not sure if this is the right section for my situation but i am just looking forward for some support. I have a 8 month ds, when i was pregnant with him i had very low iron levels, so midwives suggested taking three iron tablets/day which resulted in severe constipation, which in turn caused me an anal abscess. When i saw my GP she prescribed me some antibiotics without telling me the severity of the situation and just said that its just like a boil and nothing serious. So i dint take the anitbiotics as i dint realise how serious it is. Anyways this abscess has now turned into an anal fistula and i will need a surgery to fix it. I am just too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone in real life except for my dh and the suffering in isolation is killing me. So i am posting here to see if fellow mums have suffered any embarrassing body issues like this and do you talk about it to anyone in real life. I am also worried how i will cope with the recovery from the surgery and look after my ds who is very clingy and needs me all the time. thanks for any help or suggestions in advance.

HereIAm20 Tue 01-Nov-16 13:55:48

Sorry to hear of your problem and hopefully it can be put right and you'll make a swift and easy recovery.

I had a double episiotomy that went wrong (basically part of my leg was sewn up inside me and the opening was too tight etc. I had to have 3 operations to put it right and wasn't able to have sex for 3 years in total (mostly because I was too embarrassed to do anything about it for absolutely ages).

Now if I have anything embarrassing wrong at all I am straight to the GP and just say it how it is - (eg. piles, BV etc)

Sorry to hear you have had a bad time and hopefully you'll be well soon.

ToastDemon Tue 01-Nov-16 14:09:26

I don't mean to put the boot in when you're having a hard time, but why on earth didn't you take the antibiotics not the first place?

WankingMonkey Tue 01-Nov-16 15:02:26

Noone besides my GP and my husband know this..

I had both my babies in quick succession. There was a year or so between then. This badly took its toll on my body and more specific to this thread, my lady parts. I had some kind of prolapse which my GP doesn't think is serious enough to need correcting. However, I cannot, and have not been able to for over 2 years now...poo without pressing on the area. I can feel my insides 'falling down' at times also.

Its pretty gross.

The things we do for our babies eh...mind, you really should have taken the antibiotics, can I ask why you didn't? If there was any treatment offered to me I would take it immediately, but noone seems to want to help my issues as its not serious apparently :S

WankingMonkey Tue 01-Nov-16 15:04:12

Oh also, I always had one boob a little bigger than the other, it didn't bother me much because you couldn't tell unless I was naked. Now after breastfeeding, the difference is noticeable. Noticeable enough to need to buy a padded bra and remove the pad from one side to even up when clothed...

NothingIsOK Tue 01-Nov-16 15:09:19

OP, my sympathies. Surgical stuff is bad enough when it's non embarrassing, so I feel for you. Time will pass, you will heal. I expect there will be an online forum somewhere populated by women coping with fistula, so hunt one out and you can get some solidarity from people who get it.

ToastDemon, which part of your post was meant to not be putting the boot in?!

And as for you Wanking, get yourself to another GP pronto. You should not an do not have to live with continence issues because your current GP doesn't think it's worth it.

BeyondReasonablyDoubts Tue 01-Nov-16 15:11:31

Wanking, that sounds like a rectocele to me. If you cannot poo without 'assistance' (it's called 'splinting'), that should be bad enough for them to consider surgery. I know as I'm waiting for it.

Ask for a gynae referral, what's the worst that could happen smile

OhhBetty Tue 01-Nov-16 15:15:00

wanking if you were a man with continence issues it would be fixed asap. Just because we're women and childbirth can alter our bodies doesn't mean we should put up with things which can be fixed. See a different gp. I hope it gets sorted soon

Softkitty2 Tue 01-Nov-16 15:18:24

OP the surgery for an anal fistula is fairly straight forward but like you said depending on how deep the 'tract' is.. They might also consider doing a laying open fistula.. It will be a long road to recovery depending how deep and if you need succeeding surgeries. Or it can all be sorted in 1 go.

Because of the area its in thats why it makes it uncomfortable. Also make sure you follow the treatment because it in the rectum you don't want further infection.

hollowsorrow Tue 01-Nov-16 15:21:30

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. Some of you asked about the antibiotics, i was suffering from really bad HG throughout my pregnancy i was terrified of making it worse. plus the way GP said it dint sound serious at all. from all the internet reading i have done so far it turns out antibiotics in this situation dont work for most people and sugery is the best option.

ShebaShimmyShake Tue 01-Nov-16 15:23:39

You need to make friends with some doctors. It will totally set you at ease about embarrassing problems.

They don't care. I mean, they care in the sense that they take your health seriously and want to make you better. But they deal with bodies, and they know how bodies work and what can go wrong, and they just don't give a stuff about things you would agonise over. There is nothing you can present that they won't have seen before, probably three times that week. Even young, newly qualified junior doctors will have seen it all while studying. They see bodies all day every day, all sorts of ailments, noses, eyes, vaginas, bums, it's all just bodies to them, which they study and try to make better.

Do not be embarrassed. They don't care. But do take your medicine. That was daft.

happyinthesunshine Tue 01-Nov-16 15:29:36

Please try and see a specialist colorectal nurse before surgery. There is usually one in each team and they are amazing. She's the one in the background that knows how program pelvic gadgets to make sure your muscles carry on working.
It's always worth running these types of issues via a colorectal nurse prior to surgery. If nothing else they'll explain clearly the procedure and help you with the longer impact of surgery and a healthy recovery.
Sadly these are the hidden, little talked of complications of childbirth.
Good luck, you are in the right hands.

ToastDemon Tue 01-Nov-16 15:39:22

Sorrow hollow that wasn't a very helpful comment from me, I apologise.

WankingMonkey Tue 01-Nov-16 23:34:41

I think I can only see another GP if I go when I asked about it I was told only one of our GPs specialises in gynecological issues and thats who I saw..I can't afford to go private sad

brummiesue Wed 02-Nov-16 00:08:58

Waking monkey, I am a gynae nurse and sadly also have a prolapse. Something can be done for you, splinting is no way to live your life. Go back to your GP, demand a gynae referral. If they refuse make an appointment with another GP and repeat. Someone will refer you, be persistent and stand up for yourself, and please never be embarrassed, none of us doctors or nurses bat an eyelid at these conditions smile

BeyondReasonablyDoubts Wed 02-Nov-16 08:01:46

Wanking, it took me years. GP who diagnosed it was a gynae specialty GP too and referred me to gynae. Saw a registrar there who said there was nothing wrong at all, and that traumatised me.
Took me another two years to ask for a second opinion. My GP referred me again with a request that I only saw a qualified consultant, who was shocked at how bad it was and put me straight on the waiting list for surgery.

Mamabear14 Wed 02-Nov-16 08:11:53

I suffered with my rectocele years. I finally saw the doc who referred me and had surgery a couple of months ago. I would definitely push for it, I still sometimes need to splint a tiny bit but my life is SO much better. I would insist on at least an appt with a surgeon so they can decide if it needs repair surgically.

NothingIsOK Wed 02-Nov-16 08:34:56

Wanking, do persist. See another GP at the practice, no matte rift they are gynae specialist or not. If you are refused the referral make a formal complaint to the practice manager asking for their reasons for refusing to take your condition seriously and refer you to a specialist.

pklme Wed 02-Nov-16 08:40:48

Me too with the splinting! I had a prolapse repair which was mainly successful. But I get very bad coughing spells, and undid a lot of it. If you have asthma type conditions, make sure it is well controlled before you have the op.

fizzingmum Wed 02-Nov-16 08:53:47

Following the birth of my 3rd daughter 14 weeks ago, I spent the first approximately 10 days with no real feeling down below. I had an epidural for around 12 hours and I think this was contributing, as well as everything getting squashed and moved around. Anyway as a result I couldn't hold my bladder. I literally wet myself every time I stood up. By week two I had got into a routine of just sitting on the toilet every half an hour to empty. Feeling started to come back at ten days and I could control to a certain extent by 4 weeks post birth. Now at 14 weeks and I have had a couple of big accidents since, but still have leakage daily so have to wear a pad constantly. This in turn causes chaffing on my thighs. I am seeing a doctor tomorrow to get a referral. When I was in the hospital after the birth, the doctor there said women absolutely do not have to put up with incontinence. It's not an acceptable part of getting older or having children. It made me think as even before last birth, I couldn't bounce on a trampoline without leakage. I just thought it was my age and having kids. But it's not and I am looking forward to a time when I can be confident to be without pads. And maybe even sneeze without having to cross my legs. blushblush

TheTroutofNoCraic Wed 02-Nov-16 09:40:34

OP, try not to worry. It's a fairly straightforward procedure.

My DS (14 months) was born with his anus and rectum wasn't picked up til he was 4 months old despite me complaining like a broken record about his constipation and bloating, being made to feel like a neurotic first time mum. He finally had the first part of his surgery in August, to put a stoma in place and we're waiting for news of when the next surgery (anoplasty) will be.
The surgeon assures me that even this major surgery on a little person is straightforward and low I imagine yours will be no different.

I had a massive episiotomy when he was born and it went back quite far, sometimes, rarely, when I do a particularly girthy poo I will get a tiny bit spotting when I wipe. Par for the course, apparently

Kel1234 Wed 02-Nov-16 09:44:37

I had a neutral birth, and had a couple of minor tears, so I had stitches. All was fine (they hurt naturally, but warm water to keep them clean eased the pain a lot). Then for some reason that no body actually knows, my labia fused together, there was a tiny hole at the top and the bottom, that was it. It was literally a fine layer of skin joined together. (Tmi but I could get one finger in the top and one in the bottom and feel behind the skin. I couldn't use a tampon and when id use the toilet, I'd drip after I'd finished.)
The doctor at my 6 week check accused my midwife of sewing my vagina together!!! shock she gave me a cream which I hates and was useless. I'd researched online and found surgery was the best option. So I went to see a different doctor who referred me to a gynaecologist. Had a consultation, then had an op under local anaesthetic, where they cut the skin and stitched it to either side. Cared for the stitches the same way, and it healed no problem.
Couldn't have sex comfortably until nearly a year after the birth, due to not being able to, and the pain still after.

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