To feel uncomfortable with overnight contact?

[MrsBowen]

I've had a very on and off relationship with my ex, he's got real mh problems. History of self harm and alcohol/drug issues. Suicide attempt earlier in the year. I've really tried to hold things together but just started a new job and cannot cope with that on top of dealing with him. So told him a few weeks ago I couldn't have any contact with him other than strictly to make arrangements for our son because I found his volatility too stressful (he showed up two weeks ago announced he was just going to be horrible to me and sorormed off without taking his son for overnigjt contact). He is apparently meant to be getting help- was meant to have an appointment last week with mh team which was cancelled. He now will not communicate with me about arrangements for ds- won't confirm that he will be contactable during contact or the time he will return him. Last week MIL came up even though she is odd at least she was there. No idea what's happening this week and not very comfortable about handing ds over.... handovers are being done at my dads so I don't have to see him... ds is just 2

[BillSykesDog]

YANBU at all.

[a8mint]

Yanbu
Is the contact court ordered?

[MrsBowen]

It's not court ordered- he's been having ds once a week overnight for a while but thinks nothing of cancelling when it suits. We've been in touch when he's him though and I have struggled to keep on good terms so I wouldn't be in this situation. Other weekend was final straw...

[MrsBowen]

*When he has him

[emmyhNL]

Listen to your instincts here. If you're not comfortable giving your DS away then dont give him away. Can you talk to your Ex-MIL about getting some help for him?

[MrsBowen]

She won't really get involved just thinks I should hand him over

[BillSykesDog]

If he's not engaging with the MH team you're absolutely right. Could supervised contact be an option? Do you think it might be worth telling him to go through court? He does sound far too volatile to be alone with him.