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To really REALLY hate this?

(7 Posts)
BeingATwatItsABingThing Tue 01-Nov-16 06:38:55

I'm sure it's been done before but oh well.

I really fucking hate hugs! With the exception of DD and DP and occasionally my DM or DF, I don't want anyone to hug me. I don't even want to be slightly near other people. Most people know this about me. I don't keep it a secret from friends and work colleagues and most people accept it and don't hug me.

But DP's entire family is huggy. All. The. Time. Constant hugging. I am of course included in all of this. If it were just the beginning and the end of a visit, I can mentally prepare myself for it but it's randomly throughout as well. They don't know that I don't like hugs because when I first met them, it didn't occur to me to mention to DP to tell them I don't like hugs. My family don't really hug. My DSis and DP do a weird hand slap thing when they see each other. On reflection, DP must have thought my family were mental and odd in comparison to his family.

Now, it's been 4 years and the hugging hasn't ceased. I try to busy myself with DD when the hugs come around but it's not always possible.

My question is: AIBU to hate hugs? And how can I get DP's family to stop hugging me without hurting their feelings?

theaveragewife Tue 01-Nov-16 06:42:59


I had the exact same predicament with the addition of a kiss at the beginning and end of visit. I just started standing back when they were saying goodbyes and just saying 'bye, thanks for coming' then busying myself with something else. Or when they get here I will ask if they want a drink and go off and make drinks.

After a while they don't take offence and ta ok wink

theaveragewife Tue 01-Nov-16 06:43:21

* it is ok

BeingATwatItsABingThing Tue 01-Nov-16 06:46:41

I get the kiss too.

One rather awkward moment when MIL was getting out of my car and leaned around my headrest to kiss me and got me on the lips. confused

WingsofNylon Tue 01-Nov-16 07:21:58

What is a weird hand slap?
I'd get do to mention that you aren't from a huggy family and not that keen on it. Dp has one family member who clearly feels like you do. Nothing has ever been said but she started always vering too far away to hug or having something in her hands to prevent it. We picked up on it pretty quick and dont invade her space any more.
In my side of the family we stand around giving hugs. They are constant. But we know it isn't for everyone. Id hate it if someone at work tried to hug me.

WingsofNylon Tue 01-Nov-16 07:22:22


BeingATwatItsABingThing Tue 01-Nov-16 07:29:17

This may out me if anyone from my family sees this but they do this:

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