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To think they shouldn't promote pregnancy testing before period is due, or the day after your missed period?

(60 Posts)
ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 01:50:07

Will try make this as short as possible as essays can be annoying...
Ok so, been trying for a baby since January this year (2016) got pregnant in February after coming off the pill not long before, had early scan as I noticed a bit of bleeding, got told the baby's heartbeat stopped at 8 weeks 3 days. I had a missed miscarriage but miscarried naturally 2 weeks after.
I was due on on Monday 24th October, didn't come on, took a clear blue test that day that said pregnant 1-2 weeks, took a cheapo Asda test the next morning, that said positive also. So I was very early on but excited that I was pregnant again (as you do) Anyway, I woke up Friday 26th with terrible cramping, went to the toilet and to my shock horror saw that I was bleeding.
Panicked, phoned Doctors they told me to go to A&E. I went to A&E told them I was pregnant & bleeding so I wanted to confirm if I was having another miscarriage. They did a pee pregnancy test & blood pregnancy test and I was told they were both negative. Confused?? Yeah so was I. Gynaecologist saw me, he basically said what's happened is I have basically had a really really early miscarriage but it isn't classed as that because I was so early on, so you pass it like a normal period. Science of it is that the egg didn't manage to embed itself to the uterus properly, so you pass it as a late period. So, I was pregnant but wasn't also? If you know what I mean?
It's very common he said, and people who don't test wouldn't even know they was pregnant as you would just think you was having a late period.
So, my argument here is why tell people to test so early, if in the mean time that can happen? It's setting women up for heartbreak and disappointment. I was talking to my friend who's a nurse and she said I shouldn't test so early on and should test around a month after a missed period. But it's the norm to test before a period with advanced kits or the day after ur missed period. I don't want to wait a month to test? No one does, right? 
So, has this happened to anyone before coz I'm wondering if I'm having problems with child bearing.
Thanks :-)

JenLindleyShitMom Tue 01-Nov-16 01:55:49

I'm so sorry for your losses OP. I really hope you have some good news soon.

So, my argument here is why tell people to test so early,

It's to sell PG tests basically. It's about making money from women who are eager to know at the earliest possible stage.

It's setting women up for heartbreak and disappointment.

I understand what you mean but sadly miscarriages can happen much further on (as you know yourself) too. There will always be women who experience the heartbreak and disappointment.

LucyBabs Tue 01-Nov-16 02:01:13

So sorry for what you've been through ima but personally I'm glad there are early pregnancy tests.
I didn't want to be pregnant and was glad I could find out as early as possible and make arrangements..

flowers

ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 02:08:08

I believe it is to make money yeah. This what happened to me is so common apparently. They should make women more aware. I'm now not going to dare test until a few weeks after a missed period. Will delay myself the joy of finding out such happy news. How sad is that?

ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 02:10:52

Yeah lucy they are handy for decisions like that tho. I've been put off by them now.

Lweji Tue 01-Nov-16 02:14:41

It depends. I think a month after a missed period is too late. By then you may well be feeling sick and what if you kept drinking, for example?

For someone who's trying to conceive any period can be heartbreaking anyway.

And if you got a positive, even if it's lost, at least you'll know something is working and give you some hope.

ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 02:21:05

Yeah lweji I don't seem to be having trouble conceiving, it's keeping the lil bugger that i seem to be struggling with I think. At least I know I'm half way there yeah n something is working. I agree, a month is too late. I would have drank a whole wine cellar by then no doubt. Think I will go with a happy medium 2 weeks. N lay off the wine in the mean time.

ReallyTired Tue 01-Nov-16 02:24:24

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

As far as the pregnancy tests go I think it's only human nature to want to know asap. The temptation not to test early is overwhelming for many women.

I also think that many antenatal tests require you to know quite early on that you are pregnant. If you leave pregnancy testing too many weeks then it's harder to do a dating scan or a nuchal fold transparency test. If you baby had a condition like Down's then it's less traumatic to end the pregnancy at an early stage.

I suggest you do a pregnancy test a week after your period is due. I hope you have a sucessful pregnancy next time.

Fuckingitup Tue 01-Nov-16 02:34:29

I understand how you feel but I think if you are trying and your period is a couple of weeks late you'd still be disappointed whether you tested or not. I think there is no way around those feelings.

I'm wondering if I'm having problems with child bearing.
Sorry for your losses. You must be feeling sad. It might not help just now but I had 2 miscarriages and was pregnant with DC2 within the same year. I hope things work out for you.

flowers

ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 02:36:14

Thanks reallytired, me too!
IABU I hold my hands up, the urge is hard to resist which is why we take them so early. I just wish they made women more aware tho, because if all women knew this I'm sure we wouldn't be so eager to test straight away and would wait a week or so. But at the same time miscarriage can happen later on yeah, so it's a tough one.
Would be good to hear people's stories tho and experiences if anyone fancies jumping on n sharing :-)

ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 02:43:30

Fucking yeah, I've heard. A friend told me she had 5 then had a successful one, bless her. It sure isn't easy getting pregnant, but I wish it was.

puglife15 Tue 01-Nov-16 02:45:05

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

What you describe with your other test is often called a chemical pregnancy..

FWIW last year I had a chemical, a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks and now have an 8 month old.

I had the opposite problem once in that i tested the day I was due, got a negative result and went out and got pissed several times only realising I was pregnant 3 weeks later. So I'd agree with you to leave it at least a week after your missed period date.

The manufacturers know that waiting to test is often the hardest part hence focusing on this.

Like you say chemical pregnancy is common and sadly miscarriage is not rare either, but a single miscarriage doesn't indicate there's anything wrong with you or your ability to carry a baby to full term. Hope it happens for you soon.

ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 02:50:27

Pug thanks, I've never heard of chemical pregnancy. I can't help but think something is wrong with me, but maybe nothing is, so ur probably right. N yeah I'm defo not going to test until at least a week after missed period. Even tho it will kill me!

Fuckingitup Tue 01-Nov-16 03:03:25

There is a TTC after miscarriage support thread. Used to be called something with posifrickintivity in the title.

Motherfuckers Tue 01-Nov-16 03:10:12

I have always wondered about this, I had my babies way back in the 90s and then you only tested after you realised your period was late. I do think that these early tests can cause unnecessary anxiety and more confusion. There are a huge amount of threads on here where people test daily for what seems like weeks, then ask people to look at their tests because they can't decide if there is a line or not, that level of obsessiveness is not healthy and sadly won't change the end result.

ImSoVeryTired Tue 01-Nov-16 03:11:34

Sorry for your losses OP. This happened to my friend a few yrs ago. She had a very early miscarriage at the beginning of the year then went on to conceive her daughter in the summer. As someone else said, at least it shows you can conceive. Good luck for the future, really hope the next one sticks.

Itscurtainsforyou Tue 01-Nov-16 03:13:57

Hi OP - I understand your concerns. I've also had three first trimester miscarriages. It could just be that you've been unlucky (although I know that's not much comfort).

This may seem cold, but try to get the latest miscarriage logged in the system as a miscarriage (iyswim). Generally after three miscarriages they will do some tests/investigations. I hope you don't end up having another, but it would be rough to have another, expect tests etc but then find they didn't "count" this one.

flowers

ImaLannister Tue 01-Nov-16 03:23:38

Thanks for your replies everyone. I wouldn't say I'm obsessive with testing, I just test the day of or day after my missed period which seems normal to do so, but I do see posts on here of negatives when they think it's a possible positive.
This is my third unsuccessful pregnancy as I had a miscarriage about 10 years ago, then went on the pill for years n decided to try this year, but with 2 unsuccessful ones. The Gyno told me to go to the doctors to ask for tests. What do they test for exactly? I just have a feeling they will fob me off. Thanks for your messages, help & advice.

Aibohphobia Tue 01-Nov-16 03:39:10

Pregnancy tests (positive or negative) can be wonderful as well as difficult at any stage OP. For those hoping for a negative, an early positive can give them more options.

When we were trying to have a baby, my faintly ridiculous husband came home with a shopping bag full of tests, wanting me to "pee on the stick" immediately after sex and every morning after. Happily he's as squeamish as he is excitable so one mention of menstruation, fluid or any other "gross" word got him to back off.

I think YABU simply as false positive tests are much less likely than false negatives and people want to know early for whatever reason.

Having said that, I can understand why you may want to wait to find out in the future and good luck wuth it.

Itscurtainsforyou Tue 01-Nov-16 03:44:42

I had testing at hospital for a range of different things that could contribute to pregnancy loss, including blood clotting disorders etc.

I'd hope there's a fairly standard set of tests, this leaflet gives a bit more information http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp/wp-content/leaflets/Recurrent-Miscarriage.pdf

Motherfuckers Tue 01-Nov-16 04:26:52

But Aiboh, as the OP has found out many conceptions will not result in a viable pregnancy, let alone an actual baby, so what is the point in finding out that a sperm has fertilised an egg if that is the furthest it will ever get.

DoublyTroubly Tue 01-Nov-16 04:32:32

I had repeated chemical pregnancies in short succession (losing the baby within 1.5 weeks of missed period). After the 3rd the doctor sent me for some tests and it turned out that I wasn't producing enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy. Some suppositories easily sorted it out and I quickly fell pregnant with my eldest daughter. If I hadn't tested early and known that I was having a lot of chemical pregnancies then the whole process to determine the problem would have taken much longer

ThatsNoWayToSayGoodbye Tue 01-Nov-16 05:59:16

OP, testing that soon isn't compulsory. If you are finding the outcome distressing, then just don't do it.

I hope you get the result you want soon.

Aibohphobia Tue 01-Nov-16 06:23:14

Because motherfucker, some people want to. I said it wasn't for everyone and I'm certainly not trying to upset the OP.

As ThatsNoWay said, "testing that soon isn't compulsory. If you are finding the outcome distressing, then just don't do it."

Even for the OP it could have a benefit. Not that I've any medical training or experience of what she's going through but it helped DoublyTroubly.

Fuckingitup Tue 01-Nov-16 06:25:18

OP, not suggesting at all you shouldn't keep this thread running, but I copied the below links in case they are helpful places to either read or ask questions.

Nothing you post or feel is unreasonable at all. I read everything I could after my second miscarriage. I was convinced there was something wrong. It's not awfully comforting to know you can get pregnant when you've lost those pregnancies. Even though it is a valid point.

When I got pregnant again I was decidedly NOT going to test early. Didn't have any Pregnancy tests. So the day before blush my period was due I was peeing on left over ovulation sticks. Not my most rational time!

TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-6

Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-30-Support-for-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again

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