Does anyone else feel like they are missing out?

(17 Posts)
bumblebee50 Sun 30-Oct-16 18:03:44

I work full time, have three DSs, a DH and quite a few friends. However, I can't help feeling that everyone is having a better time than me, especially over the festive season. Don't get me wrong I have a fair few Christmas nights out, it's just that when you go on Facebook everyone seems to be having such a great time. I just feel inadequate. AIBU to think that everyone is having a better time than me? The daft thing is I don't want to socialise any more than I do because I just can't be bothered but then if I am sitting in I feel as if I'm missing out.

AgentProvocateur Sun 30-Oct-16 18:05:12

It's got a name - FOMO! wink

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 30-Oct-16 18:06:06

Fear Of Missing Out is a real thing, and yes, social media makes it 100,000x worse.

The80sweregreat Sun 30-Oct-16 18:07:52

I can sympathise, but probably best to stay off social media or just scoll past the pics. Most of it is isnt real life, just what they want you to think! Look forwards to your nights out and embrace them, have fun and enjoy your little ones, they are not small for long.

yorkshapudding Sun 30-Oct-16 18:08:02

Did you feel like this before the advent of social media? I'd try having a break from Facebook for a week or so and see if it makes a difference to how you feel.

228agreenend Sun 30-Oct-16 18:12:32

Unfortunately, that's the problem with facebook. People post pictures which look like they are having a wonderful time, but to misquote a Bucks Fizz song, the camera can lie.

The one picture of everyone 'having fun' can hide the misery, frustrations, disasters that went behind it. Eg. The picture of the kid dressed up in Halloween costume could mask the tantrum and tears getting the kid into that costume.

Also, your life is perfectly fine. Not everyone can be a party goer.

I know where you are coming from. Sometimes I think why aren't I going to a Halloween party, going trick or treating etc, but like you. I'm happy with my level of socialising.

You are not missing out, just living a different (and more private) life.

flopsypopsymopsy Sun 30-Oct-16 18:15:48

No, but my Mum does and her social life is better than me and my Brother put together!

A good start would be to stop looking at Facebook.

CroissantwithCheese Sun 30-Oct-16 18:21:59

Facebook is responsible for so much social anxiety imo. I've limited my time on there recently - it's just not good.

bumblebee50 Sun 30-Oct-16 18:27:22

To be fair I felt like this before the advent of social media. I have always felt a bit insecure - not so much now - but I used to worry people were going out and not asking me. I have lots of friends and get on well with everyone at work but I've always felt slightly inadequate. For instance when I have a day/night out with my friends I always think they look better than me - even though a few of them are twice my size. Anyone who knows me in RL would never suspect this by the way.

BigPointyStick Sun 30-Oct-16 18:40:07

Delete fb. It's the evil of our age.

TallulahBetty Sun 30-Oct-16 18:42:09

I also get attacks of the FOMO. But also a lot of the JOMO (joy of missing out!) thlgrin

ElizaDontlittle Sun 30-Oct-16 18:46:01

Have you ever read/ thought about gratitude journals - they are proven to be really beneficial in recovery from a wide range of things, from cancer to addiction and everything in between. I don't do it every day bit if I feel any sort of self pity or envy or whatever creep in - it's a really powerful tool. Well worth looking into just don't start putting your gratitude lists on FB

Bluebolt Sun 30-Oct-16 18:46:56

I find the people on my FB who post the most activities are also the ones that complain the most in RL. generally complaining of credit card bills and not having enough time due to the things that they are posting on FB.

228agreenend Sun 30-Oct-16 18:53:15

Bumble - I feel exactly the same way, along with probably 80% of people at the party!

autumnintheair Sun 30-Oct-16 19:02:07

Op I have always felt this! My siblings were much older than me and would be free to do their own thing when I was stuck at home. Going out to amazing parties, and holidays etc.

I did go full throttle as a result when old enough and did get some slice of the pie....but I do fear it now - esp as I am 40 and stuck at home, and fear it will be 50 and too late when I get back out again

autumnintheair Sun 30-Oct-16 19:03:52

eliza sounds interesting

IreallyKNOWiamright Sun 30-Oct-16 21:21:52

I always feel I miss out because I never went to uni had a career.

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