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to expect an engagement ring, after 10 years and 2 children for Valentines....

(64 Posts)
CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:11:37

or even something really nice, like rose petals up the stairs... or 12 red roses.. a suprise. something that I don't have to hint at would be wonderful. a sign...please

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Californication Sat 10-Feb-07 23:15:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hotmama Sat 10-Feb-07 23:15:21

I had to wait until my birthday last year. After 25 years, 2 children ......

hotmama Sat 10-Feb-07 23:17:37

However, my dp is a sweetheart - I've just had to wait forever to get engaged! We have nearly set a date!

CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:18:39

but a surprise, anything. Its everywhere, how can he not see its Valentines day soon, why can't he think, for once, just once. And his Bl*y surname is VALENTINE for FS.

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CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:19:24

i mean bloody

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BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:20:04

If you haven't complained about not getting it before he probably thinks you don't care and that he's got it easy with a low maintenance missus.
Don't hint, tell him outright that you expect something and it better be good.
Men don't do subtle hints. They just don't even hear them.
Sorry.
Think I should put the win away now!!

BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:20:57

Meant wine!! See what I mean.

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore Sat 10-Feb-07 23:21:08

HE is a MAN...do you need any furhter explanation, lol....
must admit, my usually so unsoppy dh is mellowing with age
After ds3's Birth and 9 years of marraige I finally got an Eterneity ring ( must admit though, he choose a lovely but rather inpractiacal one, so, I don't even wear it....gasp....)

CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:23:46

oh no he knows i care, and I have said outright, xmas day infact Opppps.(wrong timing maybe) Said, I am clearly wasting my time. etc etc response was why do you need a ring, marriage, bla bla. then I scuttled back into the kitchen..

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CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:25:26

at least you got a sign.. The last ring i had off Dp was 8 years ago off a dutch market. think he had too much dutch courage

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BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:26:23

Why do you need a ring and marriage? Ok the ring I get, nice and sparkly (am not taking the piss, I swear!!) but why marriage?
If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore Sat 10-Feb-07 23:29:15

but marriage doesn't mean to break it....that would be terrible.....however, I don't think that in everyday life marriage should change anything...because that is why it would work....

CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:31:01

To seal it..

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BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:31:59

I don't know 3 hearts, maybe I'm a bit of a cynic, but I knew a woman, whose dp begged her to marry him and have a baby. She didn't until they'd been together 10 years. Maybe then she thought it was safe.
She got pregnant and he left her for another woman and knocked her up too.

expatinscotland Sat 10-Feb-07 23:32:45

I wouldn't hold my breath.

I'd rather have the gold than the glitter.

BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:33:08

I do see what you mean CN. Sorry if I'm seeming all abrupt and pushy

expatinscotland Sat 10-Feb-07 23:33:51

I'm married, but haven't got an engagement ring.

B/c we had no engagement.

We eloped.

Just a plain gold band for the both of us.

CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:37:41

thats ok BoM, I've lost count of V& DC with cherry. fingers are playing games too

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CurlyN Sat 10-Feb-07 23:38:57

ohhhhh so romantic expatinscotland. do tell

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3LoveHeartsAndNoMore Sat 10-Feb-07 23:39:07

Bandofmothers...I know I have been lucky so far...had my share of non committed rubbish relationship, but me and dh have been married for 11 years now...and we are both such unromantics, lol....but life never changed because we were married, life in our relationship!
As for engagement and the ring....my dh proposed to me before he had divorced his first wife and then did buy me a lil &20 ring once the engagement came through, less then a month before we actually got married, lol....but time was scarce...neither of us believed in long distance relationships and he was posted back to the UK, lol....!

BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:39:49

I think if a man can pick out a ring that you really love, then it shows they at least know you. My exh bought me a lovely ring, but it was gold and I NEVER wore gold. EVER.
But he was always trying to change me to suit his much more reserved personality, and hence, he is my ex!

expatinscotland Sat 10-Feb-07 23:45:19

Romantic?

No, I wouldn't say so. Practical and cost-effective.

Romance is a machination to sell you things.

Rings were used to mark betrothal rather than marriage, at least in these parts, for centuries.

If you had to pin me down and force me to concede what I'd find romantic about a ring as a token, it would be if someone found me an antique fede ring.

Or a luckenbooth brooch or a quaich cup.

Traditional tokens.

The engagement ring as we know it is, IMO, a marketing ploy by companies like DeBeers who have gotten rich through exploitation and the blood, sweat and tears of the poor.

No, thanks.

BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:46:45

3 hearts that is great. My dh now (is not actually my husband, but we always call each other husb and wife cos that's how we think of each other) knows me so well, and I think that is because he doesn't want to change me. Also he knows I would never let him.
I don't think our relationship would change if we got married, and he bought me a ring at xmas that I LOVE.
Sorry CN, didn't mean to rub it in.
Would like to take his name though, for my dd's have his name and then we'd all be the same!!

BandofMothers Sat 10-Feb-07 23:50:26

Sorry expat but I disagree.
Romance isn't about buying things, it's about showing someone that you care about them and love them.
Like : My Dh picking a flower for me when we're walking in the park, or running a bath with candles and a glass of wine when he knows I'm tired or stressed.
That's why I think the ring is symbolic of how well they really know you.

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