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AIBU to be creeped out by my friend's DH?

(72 Posts)
wejammin Sat 29-Oct-16 20:20:51

I've got a really lovely friend that I've known for several years. Her DH does not like me, he thinks I'm a ridiculous lefty liberal. I don't mind that he doesn't like me, I'm perfectly accepting of the fact that not everyone gets on with everyone else.

He's alright to my face, he's pretty rude to everyone in general but in an "it's all banter" sort of way. I find his views occasionally offensive and once had an argument with him on Facebook because of a ridiculous (I'm my view) statement about breast feeding in public being akin to sex or urinating in public.

I chose to become vegan over 2 years ago. I don't care what people think about it. I don't hide it but it's not the be all and end all of my life.

Ever since then, he is regularly making totally unprovoked negative comments on facebook about vegans. The other week a mutual friend posted about religious intolerance. He made a comment about hating vegans. He once posted he was at a food festival "with no fucking vegans". Today he has posted without any relevance to anything else in his life that vegans should just "eat meat for fucks sake".

I'm certain it's directed at me and I never respond. I have no idea how to act around him in real life (and thankfully I've not seen him for a while).

AIBU to find it wierd and creepy?

9troubledwaters Sat 29-Oct-16 20:22:23

Block the twat on fb so you can't see it

CostaBrava Sat 29-Oct-16 20:22:32

Why are you friends on FB?

MooPointCowsOpinion Sat 29-Oct-16 20:24:37

Yes very creepy, and I'd be deleting him on facebook. He's just trying to get a rise out of you, because he's an arsehole.

My friend's DH is a pro-lifer, and the things he shares about reproductive rights on Facebook makes my blood boil. I have stopped meeting up with them because I just can't hold the contempt in any longer. And he's otherwise a wonderful man. If he was an arse I'd have stopped trying years ago.

Arfarfanarf Sat 29-Oct-16 20:25:13

Remove him from fb.
Or limit him.
Or block his feed or whatever it's called

He's irrelevant. Don't let him bother you.

NavyandWhite Sat 29-Oct-16 20:25:23

I block for MUCH less than this.

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Oct-16 20:26:28

Why is he on your FB list?

Legogo Sat 29-Oct-16 20:26:53

Delete. Move on.

ChocolateForAll Sat 29-Oct-16 20:27:05

Definitely remove him on FB. He sounds a total bell end.

Trifleorbust Sat 29-Oct-16 20:27:15

Jerky, yes. Creepy, no.

OhNoNotMyBaby Sat 29-Oct-16 20:28:58

Oh God, another FB one....

I don't know a single person who hasn't taken offence at statements others have made on FB, that they think are directed personally at them. Just ignore FFS. Block him. Give up FB.

Why are you even reading his posts? And then giving airtime to him on here? He is not worthy of even a moment of your time OP.

alfagirl73 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:29:44

Unfriend, delete, block... simple. Instant end to his game and the agro. If he has no audience (if it is aimed at you) then he's just rambling on to himself.

DiegeticMuch Sat 29-Oct-16 20:30:20

If you remove him he'll smugly think he's got to you, and your friend might wonder what's up. Just hide him. Avoid seeing him in person where possible. He's a tool.

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Oct-16 20:30:37

Sorry, forgot to answer the question.

No it's not weird or 'creepy'. He just sounds like an antagonistic wind up merchant.

He's winding you up because he doesn't like you and he knows you'll read it.

What is a bit weird though is why you haven't simply blocked him.

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Oct-16 20:32:16

So what if her friend wonders what's up? confused

All she has to say is 'I'm fed up of the anti vegan shit'.

And leave it at that.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Sat 29-Oct-16 20:32:28

Choose not to engage with him about these topics

'Unfollow' him on fb so he won't pop up in your newsfeed
If he starts criticising vegans in person say "let's talk about something else"
If he carries on then leave
If he keeps doing it, see your friend without him

He sounds a complete idiot and I can't imagine why he wants to devote so much time/ energy to upsetting you
Really he must be screwed up to care so much about his wife's friend's eating habits

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet Sat 29-Oct-16 20:38:32

He must feel incredibly threatened by you to go out of his way to try and get at you so much.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Sat 29-Oct-16 20:41:13

Is he Rupert Campbell Black?

Isn't this basically the plot of Riders in the social media age?

HedgehogHedgehog Sat 29-Oct-16 20:44:09

unfollow him so that he cant tell hes got to you but also you dont have to see his posts any more!!
He just sounds like a ridiculously insecure person. Some people seem to take veganism as a personal insult. Some people seem to take any lifestyle descisions that arent mainstream as a personal insult. I always reckon its because they are so resentful that they dont have the strength to live how they choose and instead just have to bitterly fit in with whoever is around them. And they try and shame you into doing the same.
Just dont rise to it!! xx

TabithaBethia Sat 29-Oct-16 20:52:04

Block him and avoid him in RL. I'm not even vegan and he would wind me up.

LockedOutOfMN Sat 29-Oct-16 20:53:34

Change him to an acquaintance on Fb and then he'll never appear in your newsfeed, but he won't know you've changed him to that and are not seeing any of his rants.

Try to avoid him as much as possible in real life.

mumofthemonsters808 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:53:35

I don't think this sort of personality thinks things through enough to aim a post at one particular person.They get a bee in their bonnet and just rant away and don't give a toss who they offend.Block him from your newsfeed, for your own sanity. If I had to endure his company, I'd acknowledge his prescience by saying Hello and then not give him any eye contact to encourage him to chat to me.

Any normal person would realise that being vegan does not define you as a person, but in his eyes,it's attached to your lefty views and I imagine these viewpoints clash with his quite severely.His mind is closed, so arguing with him will achieve nothing, he probably gets a buzz from arguing because it gives him a platform to air his views.

Dont let him get you down,

wejammin Sat 29-Oct-16 20:53:39

I didn't realise you could "unfollow" someone without "unfriending" them. I thought if I deleted them he would feel victorious, as someone said up thread. I know that's daft!

Great, will go and unfollow smile

Bubblegum18 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:56:53

I really dislike my friends DH he is a twat on so many levels. I disengage from him don't social with him, I don't have him on fb.

My friendship 16years is with my friend not her DH. She invited me to his 30th party we declined and made my excuses. I had to invite him my DS christening he was invited simply because of my friend. I made no effort to speak to him and avoided him, which is surprising easy when your talking to other people. He was extremely rude to my DB on my wedding day so I tolerate to a certain level but I limit my interaction.

Cosmicglitterghoul Sat 29-Oct-16 20:58:44

Or passive aggressively 'like' his posts.

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