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To be pissed off!!

(22 Posts)
Mummabear22 Sat 29-Oct-16 19:42:00

So me and DP have a 9 month old DD, I have only had 2days away from her since she was born and other than that only about 1hr to just myself.
My DP goes off most weekends to pursue his hobby and also works mon-fri 9-8, we basically don't see him!
I asked him this weekend if he could spend it with us and he said no he's off next weekend (we've got a family party so will be staying with family and not just the 3 of us).
Basically I'm sick and tired of being alone with our DD, doing everything for her, doing all the housework, and getting no time to myself, when DP gets loads of time to himself! Everytime I mention it he gets arsey with me and ends up not talking to me.
I'm at a loss and don't know what to do!!!

glenthebattleostrich Sat 29-Oct-16 19:44:56

Tell him to act like part of the family or fuck off.

Seriously, what do you and DD get out of this relationship?

PlayOnWurtz Sat 29-Oct-16 19:49:34

So you're basically a single mum but with the added bonus of clearing up after a man child?

You can do it alone you know.

Arfarfanarf Sat 29-Oct-16 19:49:54

Dont let him get away with silencing you!
That's what getting arsy and sulking is about.
Trying to make you stfu.

You need to challenge him on that

You cannot make me shut up and carry on by sulking. I am not happy that i get no time to myself but you make sure you get plenty. It is not fair. We each deserve an equal amount of time to ourselves. I am not willing to carry on like this. You are selfish.

Wolfiefan Sat 29-Oct-16 19:50:27

I agree with Glen.
He gets arsey then doesn't talk to you until he gets his own way. Wow. Not how a loving partner in an equal relationship behaves. Immature bully.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Sat 29-Oct-16 19:53:31

whats the hobby? is it seasonal? how has this been allowed to become the status quo?

ThatStewie Sat 29-Oct-16 19:54:38

You aren't in a relationship. You are living with a selfish man who has no interest in your child. Men like this don't change.

sophiestew Sat 29-Oct-16 19:57:54

Agree with PP - he appears to be some kind of lodger.

Either he shapes up and takes an active part in family life or he ships out. I can't really see it would make much difference to your child.

He sounds like a spoilt baby.

Mummabear22 Sat 29-Oct-16 19:58:41

Thanks everyone I'm glad I'm not just being unreasonable.
It is seasonal but only isn't on Dec-Feb so it's pretty much most of the year. I feel like he's punishing me because next year he won't be able to do it as much (will be lucky to get 1weekend a month) as I go back to work and 1of my work days is a Saturday.

baconandeggies Sat 29-Oct-16 19:59:46

he gets arsey with me and ends up not talking to me

This isn't a relationship.

LindyHemming Sat 29-Oct-16 20:02:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usernoidea Sat 29-Oct-16 20:02:03

This is totally not on.
You and your child deserve better - give him an ultimatum. Xx

Only1scoop Sat 29-Oct-16 20:02:39

Selfish twunt

YouTheCat Sat 29-Oct-16 20:02:48

Ask him how he'd like to arrange his hobby around every other weekend contact?

He's a twat.

sophiestew Sat 29-Oct-16 20:04:17

"punishing you?" This sounds worse and worse...........

Does he have any good points?

ditzychick34 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:10:39

He's a selfish arse, insist on some you time, and he can clean whilst he's watching the baby as well!

mysistersimone Sat 29-Oct-16 20:19:21

Did he want to be a father?

Serialweightwatcher Sat 29-Oct-16 20:20:34

I really hope when you go back to work you remember this, have a wonderful social life and meet someone decent who will love you, take care of you and put you at least on a level to them - he's a selfish prick and you deserve more

Helenluvsrob Sat 29-Oct-16 20:27:56


I'm with the pp who said how would his hobby fit with every other weekend contact then...... and having to keep his own house !

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet Sat 29-Oct-16 20:36:50

Ask him whether he wants to father his child and, if so, when he intends to start. If not, he can bugger off.

Mummabear22 Sun 30-Oct-16 15:42:39

So I spoke with him last night and basically said that he needs to spend more time at home and do more around the house. He has cancelled his weekends to spend with us and is having our daughter 1day a week, so that I can have time to myself. Just hoping he sticks to it!

Helenluvsrob Sun 30-Oct-16 17:01:10

Mumma that's a real result. Well done. Hope he manages to stick to it.

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