to be upset about the cupboard

[kinloss]

Our house has always been rather a scruffy house. Three children - the youngest now at university. The older two were my stepchildren and my partner never put any energy into getting them to be tidy. Everybody messy/chaotic/with hoarding tendencies. Money often in short supply so things would get rather tired-looking. But as the nest has emptied the place has become a bit more orderly.

We also recently decided to redecorate the kitchen which is a large room - think dining kitchen. This was done ourselves cheaply. Fresh coats of paint and two sets of curtains bought off eBay and Gumtree. One set, I hemmed by hand to shorten them to an appropriate length.

In order to get the overall look of the room right, I also repainted a wall cupboard inside and out. The previous paint was badly discoloured in one place, because we'd developed the habit of plugging in the bread machine directly underneath. The heat coming out of a vent on the machine had gradually burned the paint over the years.

So I said to my husband we should plug the bread machine in at a different socket which is just on the edge of the draining board by the sink. He agreed to do this.

Since he retired he has taken on the job of being the house breadmaker and we quite often run out or nearly run out of bread. Last night there was no bread, and I reminded him at supper, so he opted to make a loaf using the quick programme and said he'd do this after doing the washing up.

I then came in and found he'd plugged in the bread machine in its old place underneath the newly painted cupboard. I asked him why he had done this, rather than moving the washing up slightly so that he could use the new place and he said. 'The saucepans are heavy and I'm tired'. Also 'The pots wanted to dry naturally'

I am not normally ultra houseproud. But I got very upset by feeling that my attempt to keep one newly painted area fairly clean was being sabotaged because my husband couldn't be bothered to dry up a couple of big saucepans.

Would you have been upset too, do you think?

[startwig1982]

Probably using it once there will be fine. At least he's trying to help with domestic things!

[TaliDiNozzo]

No I don't think I'd have been upset tbh.

[greenfolder]

You sound like me. Just one iota of effort from anybody else would make a huge difference.
I fantasise about secretly owning an immaculate one bedroom flat that would always be exactly as I left it. I would take secret afternoons off and just go and sit in it😊

[user1474627704]

If you've always used something in one place it can be hard to remember to put it somewhere else. It's not a big deal in itself.

Why not find somewhere it can stay in one place all the time, then no-one has to place it anywhere?

[TaterTots]

I think if this is your biggest problem you lead a charmed life.

[HereIAm20]

Wtaf - at least he's trying to help with domestic things!!

I'd be miffed too after your efforts. Too tired to move heavy saucepans - poor love. .

Is there somewhere else you could leave it - a more permanent position by a socket? Then he wouldn't need reminding!

[ImperialBlether]

It would annoy me. What does he mean, the pots wanted to dry in a specific way? He was being lazy, no two ways about it!

[gleam]

Could you find a new position that's not near the sink?

[S1lentAllTheseYears]

I fantasise about secretly owning an immaculate one bedroom flat that would always be exactly as I left it. I would take secret afternoons off and just go and sit in it

Greenfolder. Are you me?? My secret plan when I win the lottery is a flat decorated entirely to my taste and always kept beautiful. Within walking distance of the centre of a market town. I'm having two bedrooms though as one is going to be my craft room where I never have to put a project away half done because we don't have room to leave things out! I've got it all planned!

OP, yanbu. It's a shame he didn't appreciate the effort you went to or your wish to keep things nice. Would you have dried the pans and put them away if he'd asked before he made the bread? If so, then he's being u.

[goddessofsmallthings]

Assuming that you moved the bread machine to paint the cupboard inside and out, why didn't you simply plug it into it's new location instead of replacing it where the heat will discolour your handiwork?

[Cucumber5]

If you'd discussed and agreed a new location for a bread maker, it's rather daft that he put it on in its old spot. I probably would have just reminded him first time

[Fookinell]

Just keep turning off the bread machine until he gets the point😀

[Sherlock35]

Yes, you are NBU to be pissed off about it. Because what it's showing is he has no respect for how hard you have worked to get the kitchen straight and in this instance, not much respect for you.

[3boys3dogshelp]

YANBU this kind of thing really pisses me off too. It seems really petty on the face of it, but when you know how long you've had to wait to make the kitchen nice it does become more important. It's only a tiny bit of effort on his part to keep it that way. Stick to your guns!

[griffinsss]

I have been known to be upset by smaller things than this, OP. You're not alone. You put a lot of effort into making the room nice and he's disrespecting that by causing the same damage all over again!