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to consider not having children, just because of the pain?

(168 Posts)
RentANDBills Sat 29-Oct-16 18:30:26

I've just had a copper coil fitted.
If this is something you are considering doing, please don't read this - I don't want to be responsible for influencing any choices sad

Anyway, I've just had a copper coil fitted. It was the single most painful thing that has happened to me.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but historically have a very high pain threshold so was nervous, but not too concerned.

I've read some bad things online about them, and actually think I got off lightly as the Doctor fits them day in day out (sexual health clinic) and did it really efficiently, no messing about. Though I couldn't lie still long enough for her to properly check with the ultrasound thingy as I immediately needed to go to the bathroom and basically had a panic attack blush blush blush

I always thought I wanted children, though not right now, but I'm really really worried that this will now mean I'm too frightened to do so, when the time is right.

I honestly can't imagine how it could have hurt more, you could have stabbed me through the stomach and it would have made no difference.

I understand that it was a similar pain to child birth, except child birth is the same thing over and over again! thlshock

AIBU to genuinely let this influence my decision in the future?
(I realise this probably means I don't want children "enough")

ElspethFlashman Sat 29-Oct-16 18:32:10

Seems rational enough to me.

Having been through it twice, thank God for epidurals that's all I can say.

quicklydecides Sat 29-Oct-16 18:32:36

I had sections, it's sort of pain, but it's not that exquisite intimate pain that you've just experienced.
So don't worry.
Get pregnant, have section birth.
But I'm sorry for your horrible day.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 29-Oct-16 18:33:42

You get pain relief.

It's not usually so bad or the world would be full of single children.

You get a baby at the end of it.

JohnLapsleyParlabane Sat 29-Oct-16 18:33:49

Every labouring woman exoeriences the pain differently. My MiL, who cries at a broken nail, had so little labour pain that my husband was almost born in her sleep!

Giratina Sat 29-Oct-16 18:34:52

Gas and air is wonderful. And the thought of seeing your baby gets you through labour.

Tarla Sat 29-Oct-16 18:34:52

Childbirth comes with drugs from simple gas and air to opiates right through to a full spinal block, a copper coil fitting doesn't.

Plus you can always have a section, no pain at all during and fantastic prescription drugs afterwards (I had oramorph last time!).

thestarryeyedsurprise Sat 29-Oct-16 18:37:06

IME it hurts at the time and then now I don't even remember it. And I only had gas and air.

I had my perforated ear drum vacuumed before as there was fluid around it and I can say that was the most painful thing I've ever endured.

SolomanDaisy Sat 29-Oct-16 18:38:13

Natural childbirth isn't the worst pain I've been through. Breaking my arm hurt more and I'd choose another labour over another c section recovery any day. And either is worth it for the baby at the end!

Planetmuff Sat 29-Oct-16 18:38:54

I found having my naval pierced more uncomfortable than birthing 3 big babies. The pain of labour is truly extraordinary but so meaningful - you get a new human at the end of it. I'd have had 10 children if finances and help could be arranged...

BendydickCuminsnatch Sat 29-Oct-16 18:41:00

Yes I am wracking my brains trying to remember the pain of my son's birth (forceps with zero pain relief) and I honestly can't. Obviously it hurt but was so worth it <cliche> I've definitely experienced worse. It was just like strong period pain from what I recall.

EatsShitAndLeaves Sat 29-Oct-16 18:41:08

I've had a coil fitted and removed and given birth.

I can say hand on heart that childbirth (with gas and air only, no epidural - didn't plan it that way but that's another story) was the least painful of the 3 - by a considerable margin.

QueenofLouisiana Sat 29-Oct-16 18:41:15

There are two things about the pain of childbirth:
It is pain with a purpose, you're shifting a human being into the world, and you really want to meet that person. The point at which you're finished is incredible.

You get pain relief- which really, really helps!

That said, I have no desire to do it again.

Munstermonchgirl Sat 29-Oct-16 18:41:52

Gas and air rocks. And as others have said, you can't compare childbirth with anything else because it's purposeful pain.

captainproton Sat 29-Oct-16 18:42:30

Ive never had a coil but I've had 3 babies. Giving birth isn't in my experience the most painful thing I've experienced. I'd give birth for instance any day over having a bout of bronchitis or chest infection. I've had shingles that was far, far worse. I've got 2 broken toes that really hurt but because I'm breastfeeding I'm limited on painkillers, that's worse.

Of course I can't tell you how it would be for you, but if you are fit, the baby is in a good position and you relax and don't panic/tense then you may be in with a good chance of a good birth. Also there is plenty of pain relief on offer if things get tricky. Truly no one cares if you screamed your head off and needed an epidural as soon as you got to hospital.

As for not feeling broody sometimes it hits you when you least expect it.

I'm not one for intimate examinations or procedures. They are not pleasant at all.

IhatchedaSnorlax Sat 29-Oct-16 18:42:40

I've had 2 DCs without any drugs at all & whilst it stung & hurt a lot, getting my coil fitted was worse - horribly invasive, unnatural (the speculum was the worst) & no gorgeous baby at the end of it. They're totally incomparable types of pain, so whilst you might not want DC,that's fine, but don't think the pain from the coil should be the reason to put you off.

Also, as others have said, there's also proper pain relief when having a baby, if you want it grin.

Smartleatherbag Sat 29-Oct-16 18:43:26

If it's the only reason, then do not let it put you off. I'm an utter wimp but birth was absolutely fine. It's not like usual pain because it has a very important purpose and because there are breaks between contractions where you feel completely normal. I know I was lucky, but if you are less fortunate then have something in place. Some hospitals have a midwife who deals with women terrified of giving birth. About half of these mums are first timers, so not based on previous trauma, but on worry. Many go on to have straight forward births, or if they can't face that, then have a c section, planned in advance, or an epidural ready and waiting.
Remember, the horror stories are the ones you hear because the people having those need to talk. Straightforward births, over 65% in my trust, are really nothing in the grand scheme of things.
There's lots of reasons not to have a baby, but pain doesn't need to be one of them smile

YokoUhOh Sat 29-Oct-16 18:44:42

Childbirth is painful, but not acutely painful. It's more like an all-consuming, all-over major discomfort, which peaks for a few seconds at a time. It becomes 'unbearable' at the pushing stage, which spurs you on to get pushing the baby out. DS2 was out in a couple of pushes, which weren't that sore due to being in water.

Then you feel a bit like you've been run over for a few days, then you forget about it.

The pregnancy piles, though, they were something else...

alltouchedout Sat 29-Oct-16 18:45:14

But you can have pain relief. I preferred not to but it is available if you want it. Don't let pain put you off when it's so easily dealt with smile

Stillwishihadabs Sat 29-Oct-16 18:45:25

Another vote for broken bones being so much worse than childbirth. Gas and air is great, contractions come in waves. I had a copper coil fitted 5 weeks after dd was born- I didn't feel it, I am getting changed on monday- should I be worried ?

Smartleatherbag Sat 29-Oct-16 18:45:28

And yes, as others say, it hurts, but I'd do it any day over the pain of an illness or intrusive procedure like coil fitting!
Your body is built to give birth, and we have the procedures to help when it struggles.

basketofironing Sat 29-Oct-16 18:46:24

Childbirth is painful but like PPs have said, it's purposeful. I gave birth without gas and air (stupid fast labour) and still just the thought of having an IUD fitted gives me cramps!

BestZebbie Sat 29-Oct-16 18:46:28

YANBU to consider it. I'd go so far as to say that in my own case, my drive to reproduce combined with the fact that basically to get a bio child of my own it was going to have to be done the traditional way as it is only 2016 still, was enough to outweigh pain of pregnancy and childbirth and complications once but not twice - so it is an actual big deal. (Fwiw at this point I'd also not allow a coil fitting - I use an implant which is also painful to put in but much less intimately invasive).

primarynoodle Sat 29-Oct-16 18:47:04

I'm 4 months post party mum and 2 weeks post coil fit.

Dd was born with NO pain relief (because the midwife didn't believe I was in labour and then oops, out she came) it was painful at the time obviously, but it was a 'doing' pain so different iyswim. The coil was 10000000x worse because I was just lying there waiting for it to happen - again no pain relief.

I wouldn't let it put you off having kids, I hear epidural are pretty awesome and you can always have a c section?

HermioneWeasley Sat 29-Oct-16 18:48:04

YANBU. Never fancied it either

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