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to be upset about "bad taste joke"

(35 Posts)
Joanna81 Sat 29-Oct-16 15:09:30

My husband is working for a company in Bristol. Today he came back home early, clearly upset. He said he had a helper today who said that he would like to rape, strangle and bury woman in the woods. My husband was shocked and upset and just turned around lorry and come back to the depot where around 20 other men ( including managers) came out laughing at him and joking that they will kill someone too ! the other guy sent a message ahead saying that they are coming back. Not even one manager stepped in to make it clear that this kind of joke is not acceptable. My husband just left and came back home. Honestly I'm shocked to the core! but what if the guy was not joking? honestly is that a laughing matter? My husband is not keen to work for them anymore, it would be ok if he didn't have that helper but this how other people in the warehouse behave made him really considering leaving.

memyselfandaye Sat 29-Oct-16 15:30:37

Are you for real? Rape/murder "jokes" are'nt funny.

However it's not worth chucking his job in over or you being "shocked to the core"

You sound like an overly dramatic pair, and a bit wet tbh.

He may work with a bunch of knobheads, but they probably are'nt going to go out and start snatching women off the street.

Rainydayspending Sat 29-Oct-16 16:00:15

I don't get how that's funny in anyway? People who commit violence usually express a desire to do so.

toastytoastbear Sat 29-Oct-16 16:02:03

it's not funny but you're both overreacting

OlennasWimple Sat 29-Oct-16 16:04:55

it's not funny at all and he should bring it up with his manager

toptoe Sat 29-Oct-16 16:09:07

So how did the guy say it? I can't think of any way he would have said it as a joke. Was the 'joke' upsetting your husband? Did the guy radio ahead to get everyone on side because he'd said something he thought your dh might report him for?

It's all very very weird. Were they in on it together to wind him up?

maxfielder20 Sat 29-Oct-16 16:09:53

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VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Sat 29-Oct-16 16:11:05

I disagree that you are over reacting. I can't imagine many truck drivers are over sensitive. If he felt the guy was threatening and unsafe to work with, he needs to put in a formal complaint about the guys behaviour.

I suspect the WAY it was said is as telling as the words.

user1474627704 Sat 29-Oct-16 16:14:58

Bad taste jokes can be very funny. I don't see a joke at all here though.

You seem a bit precious to be so shocked though. Don't get out much?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sat 29-Oct-16 16:18:54

Thinking of quitting?! Shocked to the core?! Christ, you'd hate to hear what I hear every day at work OP!

Are you always so over dramatic?!

Tarttlet Sat 29-Oct-16 16:22:29

I don't think you're overreacting OP - that's absolutely vile. Accusations of overreaction are what stop people reacting negatively to jokes like this in the first place - those of you who are accusing OP of overreacting are just as bad as those who claim it was "only banter", ffs.

AVirginLitTheCandle Sat 29-Oct-16 16:22:31

Why is the OP BU to be shocked?

It's a shocking thing to say surely?

AVirginLitTheCandle Sat 29-Oct-16 16:23:18

I also don't understand why people are saying the OP is overreacting. What exactly about her reaction are people finding over the top?

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Oct-16 16:23:21

What the guy said was not funny, it was vile and disgusting.

But how is your DH going to get away with turning the lorry around, going back to the depot (so the job didn't actually get done), and then deciding to knock off work early and go home, because the bloke said that?

A real over reaction that I think might come back to bite him on the arse.

JellyBelli Sat 29-Oct-16 16:24:54

Its not funny and you re not overreacting. If theres a head office, he can complain to them.

Good for your DH.

Friendofsadgirl Sat 29-Oct-16 16:29:12

Actually, I think YANBU.
Someone jokes about rape and murder and some of you think the OP is being precious? shock

That's an incredibly sick joke. I think your DH showed some integrity by refusing to work with that lowlife. Unfortunately, he should probably not have just left (although I can see why he would If the other staff joined in on the "joke") but should have reported it to a manager and asked to be reassigned a different workmate.

JunosRevenge Sat 29-Oct-16 16:33:02

What friendof said

It's not at all funny. He should report to HR.

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Oct-16 16:33:33

That's what I think Friendofsadgirl

It's one thing complaining to head office, but to down tools and go home early because of it, that was an overreaction imo.

MissMillament Sat 29-Oct-16 16:33:47

Gosh there are some vile and unpleasant people in the world. Unfortunately for you, OP, some of them appear to be on this thread. FWIW I absolutely agree that your husband was right to be appalled. Basically, he was subjected to mockery by his colleagues because he objected to having to listen to someone threatening extreme sexual violence and murder against women. That's not a joke. He needs to lodge a formal complaint in order to protect his own position now - logging exactly what was said and who was there for both parts of the incident.

memyselfandaye Sat 29-Oct-16 16:36:46

The over reaction comes from walking out of his job then running home to his wife who then posts the story on here, and then wanting to jack his job in.

He could have just stood up for himself and said something loud and clearly so the other bloke got the message.

Olympiathequeen Sat 29-Oct-16 16:38:53

That's an appalling thing to say, but unfortunately there are some dickheads around and we just have to live with them.

I think it may have been better if your dh had said immediately that it was a disgusting, sick thing to say and just left it at that. To turn around and go back make a big deal out of it. I would certainly not worked with him again though.

JustAnotherPoster00 Sat 29-Oct-16 16:40:00

Interesting first post OP oh wait its half term isnt it

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Oct-16 16:56:47

How can you tell a first post from a name change?

Genuine question btw.

gillybeanz Sat 29-Oct-16 16:58:09

That's not funny at all, but I agree with pp, not worth losing your job over.
Will your dh get a warning or disciplinary action for this?
there are some knob heads we all have to work with, you just have to have a strong back bone, or change your job, perhaps where you work in isolation.

chitofftheshovel Sat 29-Oct-16 17:05:24

I got from the OP that they had all planned it as a joke to spook their colleague out or at least see what his reaction was.

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