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AIBU- overheard phone conversation

(63 Posts)
babyface Sat 29-Oct-16 13:15:58

Yesterday dd was on phone to her stepmmum discussing school disco when sm asked her if she would be 'allowed' to walk the 2 streets home alone after (finishing time 11.45pm). Dd is a small for her age 12 year old. It didn't happen but I'm still annoyed that it was thought appropriate. What do others think?

LightTheLampNotTheRat Sat 29-Oct-16 13:18:00

That's an astonishingly late finish time for a school disco, or for anything at all for a 12 year old. No, I wouldn't let my 13 year old do that.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Sat 29-Oct-16 13:18:07


ChuckBiscuits Sat 29-Oct-16 13:19:38

It didn't happen but I'm still annoyed that it was thought appropriate.

Are you sure the evil SM didn't think it would be totally inappropriate?

OhTheRoses Sat 29-Oct-16 13:21:56

It's a mater to be raised calmly with ds's father.

LightTheLampNotTheRat Sat 29-Oct-16 13:22:55

TisMe you think it's unreasonable to say a 12 year old shouldn't be walking home alone at midnight? This is the first time EVER that I'm in the overprotective parent camp grin

babyface Sat 29-Oct-16 13:22:58

It was in another town so she wanted her to walk home alone from the youth club bus

JunosRevenge Sat 29-Oct-16 13:25:37

YANBU, clearly.

But SM might have asked the question because she was uncomfortable with it too, and wanted to know what you thought.

You need to discuss it calmly with DD's father, as another poster has said.

DefinitelyNotAJourno Sat 29-Oct-16 13:29:30

2345 for a school disco? What on earth are the school thinking?

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Sat 29-Oct-16 13:31:16

Light Op is leaving a 12 child walking around at midnight on her own. She could be fine or something could happen to her. Why take the risk with her child's safety? I don't think the SM was being unreasonable to be concerned. It's being a responsible parent, not an overprotective parent.

FeckinCrutches Sat 29-Oct-16 13:32:01

That is a ridiculous time for a school disco to finish. I doubt I'd even let my 12yo go in the first place.

RaspberryOverloadTheFirst Sat 29-Oct-16 13:32:55

I've run school discos for that age group, and we have never finished later than 9:30. And the stepmum wanting a 12 year old to walk home at around midnight needs to give their head a wobble.

diddl Sat 29-Oct-16 13:34:52

"so she wanted her to walk home alone from the youth club bus"

Is that what SM wanted or what your daughter told her that she wanted?

LightTheLampNotTheRat Sat 29-Oct-16 13:35:08

TisMe I think you've misunderstood what I said. And also what the OP said. Neither OP nor I think it's okay!!

EweAreHere Sat 29-Oct-16 13:35:14

Um, no. Not happening.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 29-Oct-16 13:44:03

So just to be clear - the SM was expecting it to be ok for your small-for-her-age 12yo DD to walk home alone unsupervised at nearly midnight after a school disco?

YANBU to think that it was highly inappropriate for your DD to do that, and inappropriate for her SM to even ask her whether or not she thought she could/would be able to. It's not a decision your DD should be making - her father and mother (and anyone else in a parental role) should be making it for her, with her safety front and central in mind!

I do hope you were able to have a calm discussion with your DD's father about the appropriateness of this.

JoJoSM2 Sat 29-Oct-16 13:51:56

I think you're reading into stuff. She might have just been making conversation.

diddl Sat 29-Oct-16 13:54:02

Well it's obviously something that your daughter has mentioned & her SM was asking about it.

As JoJo says, might have been just conversation.

RebootYourEngine Sat 29-Oct-16 13:57:21

I wouldnt be happy with allowing my 12 yr old ds walking home alone at that time of night.

TisMe i think you have read the OP wrong.

DiegeticMuch Sat 29-Oct-16 14:01:16

Even now, I don't tend to walk alone at that time. I get a taxi or drive. Or I have my dog with me.

I think that someone should collect her from the bus drop-off point.

LittleDittyAbout Sat 29-Oct-16 14:01:26

Sounds like SM thought it sounds like something you would allow. Tell daughter to tell her she'll be fine, she'll have her 18 year old boyfriend with her. grin

youarenotkiddingme Sat 29-Oct-16 14:02:56

I think it's important for context to know what your DD said either side of this comment.

I also think it's important to realise it didn't happen. She's not the girls mum, asked and obviously accepted the answer.

thisisafakename Sat 29-Oct-16 14:04:29

What sort of school disco finishes at quarter to midnight? Are you sure you got the time right, OP? I would have thought 10pm would be the latest for secondary school age kids, possibly even earlier for the younger ones. And no, a 12 year old walking alone on dark streets near midnight is not safe.

babyface Sat 29-Oct-16 14:05:40

Step mom might have been 'making conversation with my dd.. I was there and overheard conversation. My dd was 'oh.. erm. . I don't know. ..' until she saw me shaking my head and then said to sm ' mom says no'.

babyface Sat 29-Oct-16 14:07:05

LittleDittyAbout.. 😅😵

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