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AIBU to not want my 9yo DD1 to go trick or treating without an adult

(22 Posts)
4foxsake Sat 29-Oct-16 12:46:12

So, as the title says, I have a 9 yo DD who wants to go trick or treating with her Bff - just the 2 of them - no adults. I'm just not sure if I'm happy with 2 9yo girls wandering around the streets in the dark on their own, especially as we usually have a lot of teens/adults in masks/costumes wandering our estate on Halloween night.

DD is allowed out to play with friends but she knows the areas she's not allowed to go (down by the river, in the woods etc) and she's always back before it gets dark. DDs bffs mum is rather more lenient than I am and had given bff much more freedom from a much earlier age (bff started walking back & fore to school by herself from Yr2 (6yo), is allowed in the woods by herself etc) so bffs mum is fine with this (and has let bff go trick or treating on her own in previous years).

Maybe I'd feel a bit better if there were more than 2 of them but unfortunately, there are no other friends living close enough to form a bigger group (or all of their other friends have other plans).

So, should I just let her go with her Bff or should I insist on there being an adult with them?

KoalaDownUnder Sat 29-Oct-16 12:47:40

God no - YANBU!

MrsKCastle Sat 29-Oct-16 12:52:13

My DD is 8, very mature and sensible but there's no way I would let her go without an adult. Can't see that changing in the next year. Apart from anything else, I think 2 young children out on Halloween have a good chance of scaring themselves silly. Plus there will be older kids and teens out who could easily scare or tease younger ones.

AnyFucker Sat 29-Oct-16 12:53:04

Don't allow it then

You are in charge..right ?

Creampastry Sat 29-Oct-16 12:53:50

You're the adult here, you make the rules.

corythatwas Sat 29-Oct-16 12:55:47

I would not have allowed this- and I am your authentic, ultimate let-them-play-in-the-snow-with-a-chainsaw-laidback, Continental parent grin

Your level of independence sounds spot on to me.

PotatoesareDashNice Sat 29-Oct-16 13:02:00

I wouldn't let them.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 29-Oct-16 13:03:01

Absolutely no, I would go with them and stay in the background.

MyWineTime Sat 29-Oct-16 13:35:06

Why don't you go with them?

There is no way I would allow it

SaturdaySurprise Sat 29-Oct-16 14:20:53

I'd go with them. They are way too young.

QueenofLouisiana Sat 29-Oct-16 14:24:11

YANBU. I'm not that keen on DS and his mates doing the same at 11/12.

NicknameUsed Sat 29-Oct-16 14:25:44

I would go with them and trail them to make sure they are OK.

flissfloss65 Sat 29-Oct-16 14:27:51

I'd go with them but hang back and let them knock on doors on their own.

flissfloss65 Sat 29-Oct-16 14:28:24

Snap 😊

deadringer Sat 29-Oct-16 14:29:22

I would let her if it was just your estate, but it depends on how safe your area is. My dd is 7 and is going around with her 6 year old friends, but its our road only. ( quiet cul de sac, about 40 houses). As others say, you are the grown up. Make your decision and stick to it.

4foxsake Sun 30-Oct-16 16:05:22

Thanks all, just needed to get a feel as to what others thought was reasonable. It's not easy to know sometimes when your only real benchmark is bffs mum who encourages bff to be as independent as possible (she also allows bff to do/watch other things I think are completely inappropriate for her age but that's another story). Don't really know any other school mums (other than to say hello to) as don't really do the school run.

Have told DD she will be accompanied by DH. She's thrilled (especially as that means she's going to have to go with her 6yo DSis grin)

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sun 30-Oct-16 16:11:41

Of course you're not being unreasonable. My goodness you don't whose door they're going to be knocking on. It makes me shudder to say this but. There are probably perverts out there. Just waiting for innocent little children to knock. Over my dead body would I let them go on their own.

HaveNoSocks Sun 30-Oct-16 16:17:13


Go with them, stay in the background and let them go to the houses alone and hold back etc. but no way let them do it all on their own.

someonestolemynick Sun 30-Oct-16 16:35:50

Seriously. What's the worat that could happen? They're together, know the area, and you say your DD is sensible.
The fact that other groups are around makes safer if anything.
I'd let them go, but maybe go out with your other DC at the same time so you can keep an eye.

BertrandRussell Sun 30-Oct-16 16:43:17

"There are probably perverts out there. Just waiting for innocent little children to knock."

Yeah-course there are. hmm

But no, I wouldn't. Because of teenagers and scaring themselves.

4foxsake Sun 30-Oct-16 16:56:30

We live on quite a large estate and halloween here is HUGE. Whole streets are decorated and we get in excess of 100 children calling at our house every year so in away i get your safety in numbers thing. Unfortunately, however, that does mean that we also get quite a few older kids from other areas coming to the estate - some just looking for trouble. The last couple of years we've had a spate of 'pumpkin smashings' (boys running down the street smashing all the pumpkins they can find), firework/banger throwing and kids trying to set pumpkins on fire (stuffing them full of tissue/paper and setting fire to them). I just don't feel that halloween night is a good night for 2 9yo girls to be out on their own. thlsad

celtiethree Sun 30-Oct-16 17:11:47

Where we are most of the 9 year olds go by themselves with their friends. But there are plenty of parents in the streets supervising younger (prob 7 and below).

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