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relationship ended. do I owe his family an explanation?

(100 Posts)
advancetogo Fri 28-Oct-16 22:06:52

We were in a relationship for just over 3 years. Never moved in together.

I started off liking his family but gradually started to hate them. I found them to be controlling, judgmental and disapproving of anyone who lives and thinks differently to what they consider normal.

I really tried to make it work. Nodded and went along with things at first. Then I started speaking out a bit and politely (I think) stood my ground on differing views.

It all went completely pear shaped though when I (again, I think) politely turned down an invitation to a family event as I was booked to go away on a business trip that weekend. The proverbial hit the fan and histrionics ensued.

Fed up of the drama, I pulled further and further away until I was practically NC with them.

Meanwhile it was, unsurprisingly, affecting the relationship and eventually it broke.

It's been about a fortnight now since we broke up. And I've just received an email from ex's father complaining that I hadn't been in touch, that I should have the decency to at least talk to them about the end of the relationship.

AIBU to ignore the email?

SloanePeterson Fri 28-Oct-16 22:09:43

Oh fuck no. Walk away and don't look back

ftmsoon Fri 28-Oct-16 22:10:30

Of course you should ignore!!! And block!!!

lightcola Fri 28-Oct-16 22:10:31

Nope. Not if you don't mind not having any sort of relationship with them or your ex again? Just walk away. They'll get over it.

CoraPirbright Fri 28-Oct-16 22:11:00

What the fuck has it got to do with them?? You do not owe them an explanation!!

Mollymoo78 Fri 28-Oct-16 22:11:12

Ignore it. You've left that family now and you owe them nothing. Would you get anything out of it? No? Just more histrionics. They're not going to understand your point of view are they? Let your ex do the explaining and move on with your life. I'm so sorry though that a relationship has broken down because of family. That is a real shame and I hope you find happiness somewhere else flowers

Bluesrunthegame Fri 28-Oct-16 22:11:26

You owe his family nothing. You had hardly any communication with them towards the end of the relationship with your ex, and when you were in contact, they were rude to you.

So yes, ignore the email. You don't just want him out of your life, you want his family gone as well.

IMurderedStampyLongnose Fri 28-Oct-16 22:11:35

Ignore it,they are weird o's with a capital o.You owe them nothing,nada!

advancetogo Fri 28-Oct-16 22:13:12

Phew, thanks for the replies. I thought I was going a bit mad reading his email. He seemed so sure of himself, that it was rude and ungracious not to let the family know what had happened.

My own family think it's nuts that he even wrote.

DiscoMike Fri 28-Oct-16 22:13:19

Were you in a relationship with his father? no? So what's it got to do with him? And isn't this just another example of his family being turdish?

Littlefish Fri 28-Oct-16 22:13:39

It's absolutely fuck all to do with his parents. The only person who needs to talk to them (if he wants to) is your dp.

The fact that he's demanding an explanation is just another way of him trying to control you.

You are well rid!

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 28-Oct-16 22:16:21

oh i don't know...I'd take it as an excellent opportunity to let him know what an unutterable prick he was and that he alone was responsible for ruining his son's life.

but I like a bit of drama.

it's not like you cannot really set those bridges aflame is it?

Giratina Fri 28-Oct-16 22:17:18

Ignore them. Bloody weirdos.

mysistersimone Fri 28-Oct-16 22:17:24

That's really weird. Seems like a small insight into how heavily involved his parents were in his life. Don't reply, it will piss him off a treat.

Damia Fri 28-Oct-16 22:18:40

Sounds like they are upset. Maybe son is blaming them or maybe they are genuinely sorry you are gone from his/their lives. Some people like to live with all that drama and crisis and dont realise others dont. I would just politely reply that sometimes relationships dont work and say that you will always remember them (just dont say why) wish them good luck in the future and hope their son finds someone perfect for them (them not him). Then never reply again.

advancetogo Fri 28-Oct-16 22:18:42


Oooh I hadn't thought of that. Tempting...

chitofftheshovel Fri 28-Oct-16 22:19:46

Totally ignore it.

Alconleigh Fri 28-Oct-16 22:20:48

Freak show. Delete and count your blessings.

advancetogo Fri 28-Oct-16 22:20:51

I would just politely reply that sometimes relationships dont work and say that you will always remember them (just dont say why) wish them good luck in the future and hope their son finds someone perfect for them (them not him). Then never reply again.

Yes, I think I'll write something along these lines. Thanks wine

icelollycraving Fri 28-Oct-16 22:22:30

I would either not reply at all or reply telling them my relationship break up was unsurprising considering they feel they are entitled to be overly intrusive in your life.
What bloody odd behaviour. Run!!

AyeAmarok Fri 28-Oct-16 22:24:58

Ha, that's a great reply!

advancetogo Fri 28-Oct-16 22:27:46

Just read your kind post Mollymoo
Thank you. Yes, it is sad - I hung on for as long as I could hoping that ex would sort it out with his family.

I feel relieved now that it's finally over. Of course it's painful though, it always is isn't it. He was a good guy. But it wasn't enough and eventually all I could see was a life sentence ahead if I stayed connected with his family.

fabulous01 Fri 28-Oct-16 22:28:23

Oh no. Reply with a story that you found it strange how he used to wear women's clothes or sexy lingerie underneath his clothes. What fun you can have smile

advancetogo Fri 28-Oct-16 22:28:38

*is, not was. He is still a good guy!

advancetogo Fri 28-Oct-16 22:29:13

which one Aye?

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