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To tell this bride to go swivel?!

(291 Posts)
Badger84 Fri 28-Oct-16 19:30:47

A friend of a friend is getting married and she had asked me to do her makeup as a favour. I am not a MUA but I enjoy hair and makeup and have a huge selection of makeup. I was shocked but agreed when I highlighted the point that I am not professional and she was happy with that.

5 makeup trials later and we have come to the understanding that she has unrealistic expectations of what I can provide. Her SIL has been at each of these trials and completely picked apart what I have done. The brides style is quite errr alternative (think gothic) so I've found it incredibly hard to recreate the look she wants. We finally came to a compromise and the bride was happy.

We went to the hen do previous weekend and the SIL kept making comments about makeup. Today I have received a message from the bride basically saying if I didn't want to do the makeup then I didn't have to 🤔

Not sure how to reply? AIBU to be annoyed that I have spent over 5 hours with the bride, using my makeup FOR FREE and now she is essentially ditching me. The wedding is next week! My DH says I should be relieved but I can't help but feel really annoyed!

ImperialBlether Fri 28-Oct-16 19:32:09

I'd be relieved. In fact, I'd be ecstatic. And be wary of the sunk costs fallacy - just because that make up was wasted, it doesn't mean it's better to waste some more!

LaContessaDiPlumpOnSea Fri 28-Oct-16 19:32:56

I'd be upset at that! Are you even invited to the wedding?

SallyR0se Fri 28-Oct-16 19:33:08

Consider it a bullet dodged... Just wish her well with the wedding!

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 28-Oct-16 19:33:39

Yep go swivel, tell her to tell her sil to swivel too

dontpokethebear Fri 28-Oct-16 19:34:17

I would be annoyed too, but also relieved.

Trifleorbust Fri 28-Oct-16 19:34:22

I think YABU. If you're her friend you will want her to feel completely comfortable on her special day.

MakeMyWineADouble Fri 28-Oct-16 19:34:46

It's annoying you have spent so much time but I'd run otherwise I foresee a load of drama and bitchy comments that you should have to put up with

Bubblegum18 Fri 28-Oct-16 19:35:36

They taken advantage sounds like you've got a lucky escape

NapQueen Fri 28-Oct-16 19:36:13

I would just message her and say "phew! Glad you've offered as through the trials I felt we had a miss match of styles and I really didn't want you to feel obligated to go with me. Hope you find someone more suitable"

Keep the high ground.

LucyFuckingPevensie Fri 28-Oct-16 19:36:49

Be relieved, be very relieved.
Honestly, you don't need that kind of shit in your life.
Are you even invited to the wedding ?

itlypocerka Fri 28-Oct-16 19:37:32

No need to throw good time/money after bad. Be thankful that you have a get-out opportunity now - if this snideness had waited till the wedding it would have been worse.

OlennasWimple Fri 28-Oct-16 19:38:01

Graciously accept the escape route offered...

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 28-Oct-16 19:38:48

You're best out of the Big fucking Day!

Thank your lucky stars.

puddingbunny Fri 28-Oct-16 19:38:58

Yeah she can swivel.

She wants a professional job done, she should pay a professional. Though probably she will be unable to find one at this short notice and bitchy SIL will get stuck with the task grin

JustHappy3 Fri 28-Oct-16 19:39:09

I woud distrust the SIL and suspect she'd been doing some stirring. I would text back that you're honoured to do it but for the sake of your friendship you want her to feel free to tell you if she wants a professional. You care for her you want her day to be perfect for her. Lay it on with a trowel.
Weddings last a day - marriages and friendships a lot longer.

QueenLizIII Fri 28-Oct-16 19:39:46

Someone else can make her up as Bride of Frankenstein on the big day.

Are you even invited?

JustFoundADairyMilkCaramel Fri 28-Oct-16 19:40:15

What Nap said

Badger84 Fri 28-Oct-16 19:40:31

I am invited to the wedding. She's not a close friend of mine. I am just annoyed that I've spent time and makeup on 5 trials (which she insisted on) bloody time wasters!

LyndaNotLinda Fri 28-Oct-16 19:40:37

You have totally dodged a bullet. And in future, don't offer to do anything for free, especially not for friends of friends. It's the quickest way to ensure that people take the piss

PaulDacresConscience Fri 28-Oct-16 19:40:45

Reply:

Can we be clear if this means that you no longer want me to do your make-up for the wedding? It's fine if that's the case but your text is a bit confusing. I did notice that your SIL seemed to have an issue as she commented a lot, so I hope you find someone who can give you what you want. Looking forward to seeing you in your finery! Love Badger.

PaulDacresConscience Fri 28-Oct-16 19:41:41

As others have said, it's bloody annoying but let it go. You've dodged a massive bullet and next time someone who you aren't that close to asks for a favour, make sure it works for you as well as them!

ClopySow Fri 28-Oct-16 19:42:34

I'd reply "do you want me to do it"

It's up to her to be honest

toptoe Fri 28-Oct-16 19:43:17

I'd be annoyed but imagine what it'll be like on the day if you do it. A bloody nightmare! And you'll get all the blame if she/sil isn't happy.

I would say 'Yes, I don't think I can give you what you want as I'm not a professional. I'm still happy to do what I can but if you find someone else to do it, go for it.'

JustFoundADairyMilkCaramel Fri 28-Oct-16 19:45:29

Difficult as you're going to the wedding.....

<ponders>

I think you should call her and speak to her. Tell her you weren't clear with the message. Does she want you to do the make up or not.

Texts can come across wrong

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