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Decided to NOT buy friends Xmas presents

(14 Posts)
streetylight Fri 28-Oct-16 17:17:35

I'm sick of buying stuff for the sake of it and I don't feel comfortable with others doing the same. So this year I've decided to not buy presents for my friends and distant family and I expect them to do the same. Each year we all struggle to know what to get each other and it's basically swapping similar amounts of money.

My children don't actually need any more toys but we will buy them a few special items that they would like. Books, music etc Our parents will receive token gifts.

AIBU to do this?

I did feel a bit awkward explaining it to my friends in case they thought I was being tight, but once I had explained my reasons I think they felt relieved that they won't struggle with ideas with what to get us and can save a bit of money.

specialsubject Fri 28-Oct-16 17:19:19

Good for you!! The annual tat exchange for adults is madness on many fronts.

And as you discover - big relief all round.

19lottie82 Fri 28-Oct-16 17:20:08

Seems fair enough. I don't think it's the norm to buy friends Christmas presents anyway. I certainly don't.

If there is a group of you and it's a tradition you want to keep alive without splashing so much cash, you could always do a secret Santa?

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 28-Oct-16 17:23:00

Seems fair to me. I just want to see my friends I don't want to have to house anymore stuff nor cab I afford to go out and buy more stuff than I really need to.

I enjoy their company. That's enough for me.

Xmas is for the kids really. So I'd rather they kept their money and spent it on their families instead

BitchQueen90 Fri 28-Oct-16 17:47:30

YANBU. I don't buy for friends or distant family. I don't expect gifts from them either. I'd rather spend more on DS and my parents.

haveacupoftea Fri 28-Oct-16 17:51:46

My friends and I dont buy each other presents, never have.

ByAllMeansMoveAtAGlacialPace Fri 28-Oct-16 17:52:19

My close friendship group (8 of us) do a secret santa with a £50 budget. My DH and I have twenty family kids to buy for so we told the grown ups that we are only buying for kids now and not to buy for us. Been doing that for the last 5 years! Find it slightly amusing to hear my SIL's moaning about how skint they are... I always think 'stop buying crap for all the grown ups then and just buy for the kids or all the grown ups do a secret santa!'

If I feel I have to get someone a present, I buy them something edible, that's a bit of a treat, to avoid sending people yet more stuff.

Loaferloveforyou Fri 28-Oct-16 18:04:24

Why don't you suggest saving the money and going out for a nice meal/drinks instead? That's what my friends and I do.

Pancakeflipper Fri 28-Oct-16 18:07:06

My friends and I decided to stop buying each other Christmas gifts once children started coming along.

Instead we spoil each other more on birthdays which suits us much more.
We have agreed once the children have grown-up and not costing us so much (that happens doesn't it?) then we will bring back Christmas gifts (because I love buying pressies for my friends and I love pressies under the tree0

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 28-Oct-16 18:09:58

I think the family 'only buy for children' works as long as you all have DC.

If you have family that didn't have DC I would continue to buy for the adults.

EssentialHummus Fri 28-Oct-16 18:11:24

If I feel I have to get someone a present, I buy them something edible, that's a bit of a treat,

Same here. A small box of posh chocs or a nice bottle of fizz is unlikely to go uneaten/drunk in most houses!

Maverickismywingman Fri 28-Oct-16 18:11:38

Make sure you definitely know you're not buying them gifts if you would or have in the past.

Can be verrrry awkward

jaykay34 Fri 28-Oct-16 18:14:23

I stopped doing this a while back. Firstly, friends and I stopped buying for eachother when we had kids and just bought for the kids. Then as our families all got larger we cut out eachothers kids.

The adults in my family now just buy for kids. I do still buy for my sister and my Auntie (who are both childless and really spoil my children) so I usually get them a nice bag and Pyjamas and a DVD that they choose. My mum and Grandparents get a photobook of the kids.

The only kids I now buy for are mine, my nephew and a cousin's child.

I love the big cutbacks - it not only saves money, but unnecessary clutter for everybody. Everybody has so much nowadays - and I don't think anybody has got offended by cutting back - probably more relieved !

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