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WIBU to withdraw DD from child care over this

(106 Posts)

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hootabellesafeminist Fri 28-Oct-16 14:14:39

My 13mo DD started child care this week. I was already feeling a bit iffy about the place after our orientation, as it seemed a rather ramshackle operation: it's in an old converted house, there's washing hanging out everywhere, it's fairly dirty and, worst of all, there was crap all over the floor of the 0-2 room, including bits of foam piping from a craft activity and lots of bits of tan bark (about 3cm long) from the outside play area, both of which seemed to me to be an obvious choking hazard. There was also a bean bag right next to a toddler who was sleeping in a little conclave out of everyone's sight (although there was a carer in the room proper). However, it was the first centre to offer us a place (two days a week) and as I need to find a job, I took it despite my misgivings.

Anyhow, today was DD's second day and when I went to pick her up one of the carers told me that she'd had a choking incident with a piece of tan bark. They'd had to turn her upside down and hit her on the back until it fell out, but afterwards she was 'fine'. The carer then asked me rather patronisingly if DD had a 'problem' with putting stuff in her mouth that she shouldn't, to which I answered, 'Well, she's 13 months!' (?!!) But I didn't say anything else apart from asking them to watch her more carefully next time, as I'm not good at confrontation, and I was also kind of shaken, TBH.

After telling DM about this, I said I wanted to withdraw DD as I didn't feel the centre was safe, but DM pooh-poohed this and said I was making too much out of one incident. She said it was more important to DD's wellbeing that I find work (I'm a single mother BTW) and also that she needs to go to child care to learn not to do things like eat tan bark. She also said the fact that the centre informed me about the incident showed that they were responsible and honest, and many other centres wouldn't even have told me about it.

But I still have this horrible nagging feeling that DD isn't safe there. I'm actually feeling sick in the stomach thinking about next Wednesday when she's due to go back there. AIBU? Would you withdraw your child from child care over something like this?

Soubriquet Fri 28-Oct-16 14:15:46

I would

They sound very lax over safety

Sunnydawn Fri 28-Oct-16 14:16:27

I would take her out too. Doesn't sound a good setup to me.

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 28-Oct-16 14:17:44

I would withdraw the child in a heartbeat.shock

Rolocookies Fri 28-Oct-16 14:18:17

I would withdraw. She's your most treasured possession, don't leave her with anyone you don't trust entirely. The bark in a natural play supervised activity would be wonderful, lying around on the floor and your DD blamed for eating it is not good.

Squirmy65ghyg Fri 28-Oct-16 14:18:32

Definitely, it doesn't sound clean or safe.

OlennasWimple Fri 28-Oct-16 14:18:36

I wouldn't have sent my DD there in the first place, and I would have reported the nursery to the local council and to Ofsted.

Turning babies upside down when they are choking is an old-fashioned method, and implies that the staff safety training is out of date. Other things in your post are clearly also hazardous. Please don't send DD back.

Your DM is being ridiculous in that babies don't learn not to put things in their mouth from being at childcare hmm They learn because they grow up, through trial and error, and from being taught by any competent carer.

MadeForThis Fri 28-Oct-16 14:19:25

I would take her out. And make a phone call to whoever is supposed to do inspections. It doesn't sound like a safe environment for any of the children.

Bluesrunthegame Fri 28-Oct-16 14:20:25

Don't want to make your life more complicated, but take her out! Doesn't sound like a safe environment, and if they don't know that 13 month old babies put things in their mouth, should they be involved in childcare for babies of that age? The dirt also sounds upsetting.

Afreshstartplease Fri 28-Oct-16 14:20:33

Withdraw and complain to management. Most under 2s rooms don't even allow outdoor shoes inside to minimise incidents like this!

RitchyBestingFace Fri 28-Oct-16 14:22:32

Is this place OFSTED registered? I'm baffled why you put her there in the first place.

user1477427207 Fri 28-Oct-16 14:23:23

Honestly I would just take her out.
I was also a single mother and made so many mistakes with dreadful childcare out of desperation....

mastersledge Fri 28-Oct-16 14:24:54

i'd take her out, its obviously not safe and they seem to have a very lax attitude towards it.

You'd never forgive yourself if something happens, I removed my ds from a cm over concerns with basic first aid, he's in a new place and its fab.

Selfimproved Fri 28-Oct-16 14:24:57

It's normal for 13 month olds to put things in their mouths. They must spend all day taking the stuff out of babies mouths if the floor is messy.
I'd leave.

CecilyP Fri 28-Oct-16 14:25:13

She has only been twice and already there has been an incident - not very reassuring! I too would withdraw and report. Your mum sounds crazy - surely it is better for your DD's wellbeing that you look after her properly, rather than leave her with this bunch of incompetents.

jennyfromtheblock1975 Fri 28-Oct-16 14:26:02

Absolutely take her out. I get it that it's your only option at the mo but your dd is more important than any job. Your instincts are telling you not to take her back there, listen to your gut!

ChasedByBees Fri 28-Oct-16 14:26:15

Yes take her out and report the nursery. Are you in the UK?

nixinoo Fri 28-Oct-16 14:26:53

Go with your gut. Take her out.

user1477427207 Fri 28-Oct-16 14:27:10

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EweAreHere Fri 28-Oct-16 14:27:40

Ofsted!! Call them!!

And get your child out of their. Her behaviour is normal; theirs is worryingly cavalier and out-of-date re choking.

ohtheholidays Fri 28-Oct-16 14:28:33

Take her out now and report to Ofsted for the sake of all the other poor little children that attend there!
They're standards are very very low and they leave objects laying around that a young child could easily choke on and did and they obviously have no idea about child development if they don't realize that a child your DD's age will put stuff she shouldn't in her mouth and that's actually a normal part of development!

Your Mum is so very wrong!I used to teach and first of I worked with very young children in a private nursery we'd have honestly been shut down if we'd operated the way that the place is.

Your DD has choked once God forbid it should happen again and the staff were unable to help her.

Maraschinocherry Fri 28-Oct-16 14:32:32

It is very commendable to want to find a job, you are doing the right thing.

However, in this instance, it really is not worth it! I wouldn't have put my kid in this place in the first place dirty with crap over the floor? NO! It's hard enough to decide between 2 nurseries when you have a good feeling for both, but are still trying to do the right thing. This place sounds horrendous. You really should follow your instincts.

If you can't get a place, what about childminders?

orangeterry Fri 28-Oct-16 14:34:08

What is wrong with you ??!
Why did you send her there in the first place ?

user1477427207 Fri 28-Oct-16 14:35:54

WAs it put in the accident book?

user1477282676 Fri 28-Oct-16 14:36:06

God get her out! Your instinct coupled with this are all you need.

There will be another. Report them to Ofsted! I once visited a school which had just been placed in special measures and there was a big hole in the fence leading to the road and the entire entrance room smelled of piss! The toilets were there and were obviously badly cleaned.

The head teacher didn't meet me for the "look round" which I'd booked...I get people are busy but it told me all I needed to know.

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