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AIBU?

To consider calling 101 next time...

59 replies

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 08:58

Don't know if I should have gone to feminist chat with this but I'm feeling brave and it's good to hear other points of view. Every day I spend two hours commuting each way up a busy stretch of motorway during rush hour. The journey is annoying enough in itself as it's less than an hour when traffic is less. Nowapart from the fact that for two hours I have to concentrate hard on driving due to random braking, unnecessary lanes switches with no warning etc etc. My problem is that at least once a journey, a lorry driver or van driver will try and catch my attention, speeding up, slowing down, sometimes making lewd gestures, flashing, honking and generally being dangerous and affecting my own, theirs and other drivers ability to concentrate fully. I feel like there's nothing I can do as even if they are in a branded vehicle, I can't write it down and by the time I get home I've minimised it and usually forgotten the company. So my AIBU is - AIBU to want to call 101 with this complaint? It is dangerous but I swerve between not wanting to 'make a fuss' or waste police time, and thinking that people should understand how intimidating and dangerous their actions are. N.b. This is not a stealth boast, I like to think I'm not completely hideous but I'm no oil painting

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thisismeusernameything · 28/10/2016 09:03

Sounds more like it may be something more to do with how you're driving than anything else.

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IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 09:05

I can see that I've worded it like it might be, it's really not at least not all the time

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formerbabe · 28/10/2016 09:11

I've been driving for 12 years and this has never happened to me....not a stealth boast either but I'm used to be reasonably attractive!

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Penfold007 · 28/10/2016 09:14

I've been driving for a long time and a significant part of that time has been motorway driving, this has never happened to me. Don't think it's a un/attractiveness thing it's more likely to be a PA comment on your driving.

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IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 09:25

Really? I know this has happened to friends/colleagues on this particular stretch of road and we can't all need extra driving lessons Blush the drivers doing it don't appear annoyed, just arrogant. My driving isn't any better if DH is in the car and it's never happened. Although we rarely drive that journey together.

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Loyly · 28/10/2016 09:27

This is not a stealth boast, I like to think I'm not completely hideous but I'm no oil painting

What is it about the situation that makes you feel it is about your appearance? I'd assume it was about my/their driving.

To be met with aggressive drivers 'at least once a journey' and daily sounds hugely excessive and anomalous.

If you're unable to get their registration details at the time and facing this daily, place a dash cam and/or a rear dash cam in your car. It will record each incident every day.

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IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 09:27

Perhaps it's boredom/annoyance during very slow traffic that brings out the worst in my driving people

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abbsismyhero · 28/10/2016 09:29

If this is happening on a motorway there are cameras are there not?

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Witchend · 28/10/2016 09:29

From a lorry it's pretty difficult to see who is in a car, either male/female or even how many. I've never seen it at,all.
And you wouldn't be suggesting you call from your mobile phone when driving, would you?

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IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 09:31

I don't think it's about my appearance, I feel like it only happens to female I've spoken to about it, regardless of appearance, I added it at the end in case someone thought I was suggesting I was so beautiful it made people want to keep looking by slowing down/speeding up beside me to catch a glimpse of my radiance

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IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 09:46

Dash cam advice a great one thank you loyly just been having a look, much less expensive than I thought and at least I can get someone else to tell me if I'm being ridiculous/a terrible driver/making it all up for fun. witchend I was, but not on a handheld device

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Rainydayspending · 28/10/2016 09:52

What are you driving? I've never had a problem in my cars but I do get this driving my friend's rather more luxury car. Not that it should be a reason or justification.

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RetroImp · 28/10/2016 10:28

If this happens so frequently, then as others said this is likely down to your driving. Those in commercial vehicles do this for a living, day in and out, chances are that you are causing them massive irritation. I drive a lot on motorways here in the UK and abroad and it never happened to me either. And I'm not going to be all faux modest, I do attract guys. But in your case the fact you mention 'unnecessary' lane changes and appear a nervous driver, you are possibly hogging a lane or are oblivious to lorries that need to go a certain speed. The dash cam is a great idea.

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NoahVale · 28/10/2016 10:30

what car do you drive op?

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NoahVale · 28/10/2016 10:31

are the lorry drivers working for a company, can you dictate into your phone the details? often the lorries have a telephone number on the back, about their driving

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HistoriaTrixie · 28/10/2016 10:36

Does your cell phone have a function where you can voice activate an assistant? I have an iPhone and not only can I 'summon' Siri and have her, for example, make a note, sometimes if my phone is too close to me or I'm in an animated discussion and raise my voice, she answers questions I didn't even ask her. ("I'm sorry, I don't understand 'I don't know what kind of drugs they're on, but a 61% increase is anything BUT modest!'. Can you repeat that?") If you can 'voice activate' a digital assistant or notes app on your phone you could just tell it "Make a note: white transit van, , honking and making lewd gestures out his window, at ."

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TirednessIsComing · 28/10/2016 11:27

I think a lot of cars get that attention rather then drivers, a dash cam would help you see what there motive may be.

Do you drive a turquoise car at all? For some reason people thought, despite it being dh and mys car, it was only a woman's car so often dh was treated to honks and tailgate driving which confused him. Soon as they saw dh, they stopped.

Lorries on the motorway here are awful for not using their mirrors or indicating. I was beeped and flashed at by an arsehole who began to indicate and drift over while I was in the middle of overtaking him. He then realised and started honking and flashing as he slowed and narrowly missed me. With someone alongside me and his shit driving there was nearly a massive accident. Didn't stop the dick head from trying to get up beind me as we queued to come off later. I gave him the finger, wish I had had a dash cam and reported him for not looking and aggression.

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TheMaddHugger · 28/10/2016 11:33

I'm of no help. My first thought was to stick a blow up doll next to you in the car
Oooops

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Lewwat · 28/10/2016 11:39

Can you explain "unnecessary lane changing"

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CatThiefKeith · 28/10/2016 11:40

Personally I would report them to their company first, and then 101 if I wasn't satisfied with the response.

I get this frequently when stuck in the traffic at the Dartford Crossing, and I drive a battered old Mondeo and am 3 stone overweight. Confused

I have however noticed that when dd (5) is in the car it happens rarely if at all. Hmm

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Lelloteddy · 28/10/2016 11:41

I suspect that it's your driving that may be the issue Halloween Grin

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lolalament · 28/10/2016 11:44

You can't call 101 while driving. There is an exception from the mobile phone law for emergency calls, but 101 is the non-emergency number so by definition it isn't an emergency call.

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Northernmum100 · 28/10/2016 11:49

I also drive a busy motorway stretch for my commute and don't think I have ever been subject to what you describe. I have however observed others being on the receiving end and sometimes it is directed at what is perceived to be poor driving such as staying in the middle lane unnecessarily or being in lane 3 and driving slowly holding up other traffic. Or fog lights being switched on when it is a clear day..... Just my observations and I'm sorry if these don't apply to you.

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Goingtobeawesome · 28/10/2016 11:55

If they've are in front of you how are they flashing their lights at you and using their horn?

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theveryhighlife · 28/10/2016 11:56

I've had this OP, it's usually when I'm in my work uniform. Never from lorries though, usually when there's a couple of guys in a van and they're stuck in standstill/crawling traffic in the land next to me.
It's the bad drivers I want to report (I do a lot of motorway driving too) I always have such good intentions of reporting them, but have the same problem- nowhere to note down the vehicle details. Great suggestions above though about using voice activated Siri and a dash cam.

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