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DH swearing - would this piss you off?

(37 Posts)
muminmanchester Fri 28-Oct-16 07:54:52

For a few months now DH has been swearing whenever DS wakes in the night. Things like 'for fucks sake' or 'what the fuck does he want now'. It really upsets me and makes me feel like he's angry with DS for what is perfectly normal and reasonable behaviour. He's 10 months old and crying is the only way he can tell us something is wrong in the night.

DH is a fab dad and I have no concerns about him ever being angry or upset with DS, but the swearing really gets my protective instincts going and makes me very upset.

Would this piss you off? Or am I being over sensitive? It's so hard to tell when you've not slept properly for the best part of a year!!

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Fri 28-Oct-16 07:58:14

I do this. It's just frustration and exhaustion. That's all. Don't read to much into it.

TheNaze73 Fri 28-Oct-16 07:59:30

You're being over sensitive

marcopront Fri 28-Oct-16 08:00:47

If you are complaining about him swearing then maybe don't use "piss"

muminmanchester Fri 28-Oct-16 08:01:09

Ok. Thank you for the sanity check!

Eminado Fri 28-Oct-16 08:01:13

Sorry I don't agree with pp - this would really bother me.

donajimena Fri 28-Oct-16 08:07:16

Ive uttered similar in the depths of exhaustion...blush when I actually saw to waking baby I would say something like come on now its sleep time (sigh) not get back to sleep you noisy f****r

In fact I say it under my breath now when I hear the twenty fifth 'mum' in the space of 5 mins they are almost teenagers.

Pumpkin2010 Fri 28-Oct-16 08:13:07

I'd say it's probably down to being tired. I've uttered words under my breath when I've been exhausted. I have a 10 month old too so I get it!

My DH swears in front of the children at times & this isn't acceptable, but I know he's exhausted as he works long hours (still not an excuse however). I'd get over it if it wasn't in front of them.

Bagina Fri 28-Oct-16 08:13:27

I'm afraid it's standard here too, although we're quire sweary generally. It really is just tiredness and frustration. We both know we love our kids, doesn't stop them driving us mad though.

Cynara Fri 28-Oct-16 08:13:40

I do this. It's tiredness and frustration. I hiss foul expletives under my breath and it helps to release the frustration so that I can be absolutely lovely to ds's face. I used to feel awful about it but I checked with a couple of friends and they do it too, I imagine it's a pretty common coping mechanism.

Madinche1sea Fri 28-Oct-16 08:20:38

It would upset me too OP. DH knows I don't like swearing so he never does it at home - I suspect he does at other times though. Have you told your DH how much it bothers you, particularly as it's directed at a baby and you're the one having to get up! It can feel very negative and aggressive. Not exactly helpful is it?

Eminado Fri 28-Oct-16 21:49:07

, particularly as it's directed at a baby and you're the one having to get up! It can feel very negative and aggressive. Not exactly helpful is it?

Well articulated! Exactly this.

Believeitornot Fri 28-Oct-16 21:50:21

Yanbu

Have you spoken to him about it?

InvasionOfTheBodyShatners Fri 28-Oct-16 21:54:15

Being woken from a deep sleep really does justify a bit of swearing in frustration. He's just saying it into thin air, not directing it at you or your child. I'm sure I used to swear a bit when I was trying to pull myself round for night feeds.

Naicehamshop Fri 28-Oct-16 21:56:39

God - that is absolutely horrible! "What the fuck does he want now?" about a 10 month old baby? confused

Vile.

LottieDoubtie Fri 28-Oct-16 21:59:29

DH has very occasionally done this and I hate it. I know what you mean about it getting the protective instincts going. I don't really know the answer though I'm afraid sad

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Fri 28-Oct-16 22:01:13

It wouldn't bother me at all but we're a sweary family. A bit of a moan is fine, if he really sounds angry I would urge him to go to bed earlier so he's not so tired!

albertcampionscat Fri 28-Oct-16 22:02:25

Vile? Really?

As others have said, it's hardly something to lose sleep over.

YouMakeMyDreams Fri 28-Oct-16 22:04:26

I've done it and I've usually been the me getting up with the baby. Tbh I don't think I'd have get through parenthood without the odd fuck muttered under my breath. Sometimes now when I hear muuuuuummm for the thousandth time that day I mutter ffs before turning round with a bit smile and a yes darling.
I can see how with someone else doing it the protective instinct would kick in but I'd also know I was being a bit irrational.

ThursdayLastWeek Fri 28-Oct-16 22:06:13

im afraid we both swear 'at' the baby in this house.
On alternate nights.

Whatsername17 Fri 28-Oct-16 22:19:07

It would stress me out that dh was annoyed or angry and I'd feel guilty that he was tired and like I couldn't then ask for help. (Disclaimer; my issue, not down to my dh who is generally lovely). So yes, whilst I'd understand the frustration I'd ask him to tone it down.

QueenRefusenik Fri 28-Oct-16 23:04:21

Yup, I do it. I'm not proud of myself, but I do it. Usually after I've just lowered my head down onto the pillow after another mammoth early-hours settle, only to hear DS start to warm up again over the monitor... It's exhaustion and frustration. Whatever relieves the pressure!

That said, I get Whatsername17's point that if it came from DH it would add to the stress, but I don't find it vile: all too understandable!

muminmanchester Sat 29-Oct-16 08:49:56

Thanks everyone. I feel much better about it today thanks to your words. I know it's just frustration and I'm certainly not thrilled about being jerked awake by shouting every night. It's just his way of getting the frustration out.

And actually he didn't do it last night but we went to bed early - maybe that's the answer! X

whifflesqueak Sat 29-Oct-16 08:52:08

I do this, yet I grumble when dh does. I'm the worst sort of person blush

Ohdearducks Sat 29-Oct-16 08:59:18

I do this I'm annoyed to be woken up when I'm so exhausted but I'm not actually angry at my baby I'm just angry with the situation if that makes sense, I can wake up effing and blinding and get to her cot and be softly cooing and shushing her and kissing her little head all in the space of 5 seconds grin

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