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Or is DH about this car?

(40 Posts)
whiteblankpage Fri 28-Oct-16 07:44:40

The lease on my car ended before we had managed to sort the new one, resulting in me being without a car for around 3 weeks. I have been able to manage for about 95% of the time, but I have 3 DC, I work in another town and some days I would have really struggled to get where I need to be.

Because of this, my ex husband, who I get along totally fine with, share custody with etc, said that he had a car that I could borrow for a couple of days, no problem. Nothing fancy, a bit of an old banger in fact that he absolutely hates, but you know what, it got me from A to B and I was very grateful I could get to work easily. So I borrowed it for 2 days last week, and again 2 days this week.

However last night, suddenly realised that the car seat for youngest DC was in borrowed car, and my DH needed it in his car for dropping off st childcare. No problem I think - I'm washing the pots, but say to DH could you please grab the car seat before I forget and put it in your car, otherwise we'll be doing it at 6:30 tomorrow morning.

He replies, 'no, I'm not having anything to do with that car' confused Thinking he is joking and I just haven't got it, I laugh, carry on cleaning up and only realise about 15 minutes later that he's not done the car seat switch.

I asked him if he was being serious, he said yes, so I went out and did it. Came back in, DH asked if I'm pissed off. I've been accused (and guilty) in the past of saying everything is 'fine', so I said actually yes I am a bit pissed off, I think you're being juvenile, leaving me to do a stupid little job just because the car belongs to my ex. He's done me, your wife, a massive favour, and you deciding to have nothing to do with the car doesn't offend my ex, it just creates more work for me.

Cue to my husband barely speaking to me for the rest of the night and leaving this morning without a word. Is it me or him?

lastqueenofscotland Fri 28-Oct-16 07:46:50

What an infantile way to behave about a non issue

c3pu Fri 28-Oct-16 07:47:13

He's clearly being a twat, but saying "fine" was not right way to resolve the issue.

ArgyMargy Fri 28-Oct-16 07:47:18

Perhaps he doesn't think it's appropriate for your DC - safe, well maintained, insured etc. You are insured, presumably?

OneManBucket Fri 28-Oct-16 07:48:05

YANBU, he sounds like he has a massive bug up his arse and is being ridiculous. Good on you for voicing your frustration though smile

abbsismyhero Fri 28-Oct-16 07:49:37

If he found it so offensive why didn't he sort a car for you instead?

whiteblankpage Fri 28-Oct-16 07:50:35

c3pu Sorry don't think I was clear, I didn't say fine, I explained straight away and calmly why I was a bit cross

argy yes definitely insured, and also the car is perfectly safe, well maintained, MOT etc. It has no issues other that the fact it's nearing 15 years old.

JassyRadlett Fri 28-Oct-16 07:51:45

He's clearly being a twat, but saying "fine" was not right way to resolve the issue.

But she didn't!

neonrainbow Fri 28-Oct-16 07:52:48

Yeah he's a childish twat.

AGinForEachMakesThree Fri 28-Oct-16 07:54:27

No! YANBU, he needs to grow up.

c3pu Fri 28-Oct-16 07:55:05

c3pu Sorry don't think I was clear, I didn't say fine, I explained straight away and calmly why I was a bit cross

Quite right, I misread while munching my museli!

Naicehamshop Fri 28-Oct-16 07:55:32

He sounds ridiculous - unless there is an issue with safety /insurance?

If not then he is an obstructive teat.

Naicehamshop Fri 28-Oct-16 07:56:13

*twat! ! shock

whiteblankpage Fri 28-Oct-16 07:57:07

I think it's a double standard - if the situation were reversed, I would have explained why I had an aversion to it, apologised for pissing him off and then tried to have a nice night. The fact that he didn't bother doing that makes me think he actually doesn't care for my feelings that much.

thatfunnymomentwhen Fri 28-Oct-16 07:57:50

Aww does someone not like your ex helping you out....he's got massive issues if he's not talking to you over this...jeez

AyeAmarok Fri 28-Oct-16 07:59:50

Oh what a petulant knob.


He's probably sulking because he knows he's being a twat.

Inertia Fri 28-Oct-16 08:01:25

DH is being an arse.

I would have told,him to finish the washing up so I could do the car seats.

whiteblankpage Fri 28-Oct-16 08:03:36

Ha well I fell much better now! Am going to have a cup of tea in peace and enjoy the moral high ground.

OldKingThistle Fri 28-Oct-16 08:09:21

Even If he had thought there was an issue with safety that would just make him an even bigger twat. If I thought there was a chance my partner was going to drive our children around in an unsafe vehicle I would be very vocal about that happening before they went in it! I wouldn't just be a passive aggressive arse hole about 'not having anything to do with that car'

longdiling Fri 28-Oct-16 08:10:54

So he insists you explain your feelings fully while sulking and refusing to speak to you himself?! What a nob!

PumpkinOfLinus Fri 28-Oct-16 08:14:40

DH #1 seems a lot nicer than #2.

SouthPole Fri 28-Oct-16 08:17:25

Little tit.

WhooooAmI24601 Fri 28-Oct-16 08:20:55

He's a dick. Having nothing to do with a car because it belonged to your Ex is ridiculous. Does he feel the same way about your DCs?

Mix56 Fri 28-Oct-16 08:25:34

At this point you decide to let it blow over, or have a discussion over his jealousy. he should not be sulking & ignoring you.
he is in the wrong.
it is not a good idea to sweep this under the carpet, is he usually PA ?

OliviaStabler Fri 28-Oct-16 08:27:24

If your DH had hated the idea of you driving you ex's car that much he should have hired a car for you.

I'd have a word with him today. He needs to know this kinds of strop is not acceptable.

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