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AIBU to tell my 12yo he's too old for trick or treating?

(179 Posts)
pennyspent Thu 27-Oct-16 21:44:09

My 12yo DS has been invited trick-or-treating by some friends, but I don't want him to go. In the past we've always gone out as a family (I have a 10yo too), but last year I told DS1 it was probably his last time. It's not just his age, but his height - he's almost 5' 9""! I think trick or treating is fine for little kids, going round the neighbours, but I don't like to see older kids and teens doing it.

I've said he can invite friends round to watch a Halloween movie instead. He's happy with the plan in principal, but so far everyone's said no because they're all going out trick or treating! Feeling bad about it. AIBU?

19lottie82 Thu 27-Oct-16 21:46:29

Aw that's a bit of a shame, he's only 12, but yes you're quite right some people might be intimidated because of his height.

Where would he be going trick or treating? Could you make him to promise just to go to people close by that he knows?

Meadows76 Thu 27-Oct-16 21:47:33

Awww no.. LOADS of the kids that age round here go out. What's wrong with it?

EssentialHummus Thu 27-Oct-16 21:47:50

Given that there will be 40 year olds out there, YABU. So what if he looks older? As long as he's polite and dressed in a suitable costume, what's the harm?

janethegirl2 Thu 27-Oct-16 21:48:42

Let him go, he'll have a great time. 12 is not too old.

marvelousdcomics Thu 27-Oct-16 21:48:49

Yabu thlgrin I would let him go, even if he only goes a short way. He could take his sibling to? My 14 yo, 12 yo and 10 yo go, and thoroughly enjoy it thlsmile

BeMorePanda Thu 27-Oct-16 21:48:51

YABU. Let him go. smile

booellesmum Thu 27-Oct-16 21:50:15

My 15 and 12 year old will be trick or treating. They will only go to the decorated houses or the ones with pumpkins outside - by us this means those people are happy to be visited. It is not about getting stuff but more about showing off costumes and entering into the spirit of it all.
I am toying with the idea of sending them out with a tub of chocolate to offer to the people who answer the door!

Keeptrudging Thu 27-Oct-16 21:51:12

YABU. DD is 13, she's going out guising with her friends. They've been talking about it for weeks, they're still children (albeit taller) and it's still important for them.

Next year DD may be hiding in her room like a grumpy teenager, so I'm delighted she still wants to do it!thlwink

lapsedorienteerer Thu 27-Oct-16 21:51:53

YANBU, simply because I hate, hate, hate Halloween (my choice, my decision, my prerogative) thlbiscuit

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 27-Oct-16 21:53:40


Trick or treating is for younger DC imo

228agreenend Thu 27-Oct-16 21:55:10

12 is not too old. We always have teens coming to our house.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Thu 27-Oct-16 21:56:12

I don't like Halloween, when mine were younger I didn't like them trick or treating at all, we had parties at home instead.

I don't like secondary school age children knocking on the door looking for sweets, that's just how I feel.

usual Thu 27-Oct-16 21:57:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anotheronebitthedust Thu 27-Oct-16 21:57:54

I think you're right tbh. People living alone/elderly/nervous etc might be happy to open the door to what they think are cute kids, then be a bit intimidated to be faced with a gang of pubescent boys half a foot taller than them. I'm surprised his friends want to go, presumably they're in secondary school? I would have thought they'd be too embarrassed to want to go round at that age, and surely they have money to buy sweets themselves if they want them.

Essential hummus, I sincerely hope that 40 years olds will only be individuals accompanying small children and not trick or treating themselves!

DamePastel Thu 27-Oct-16 21:58:28

My 13 yo is going as a greek goddess, she's just told me she needs to buy grapes. I think 12 is not too old!

3luckystars Thu 27-Oct-16 21:58:39

Ah! I go trick or treating!! I am nearly 40.

Lots of older kids come to my door, why should they miss out on the sweets? That's ageism.

MaryPoppinsPenguins Thu 27-Oct-16 21:59:18

Last year I had a knock on the door from a boy who looked about 17 and was taller than me... he was in a lovely costume, with much younger (looking?) friends and politely took a sweet...

Let him go grin

halcyondays Thu 27-Oct-16 22:00:38

If they are polite I don't care how old they are.

Rainydayspending Thu 27-Oct-16 22:00:40

YANBU BUT I don't get Halloween, so I can't imagine if it means much to him to do it or if it's just going along with mates etc.

LilQueenie Thu 27-Oct-16 22:01:23

Why can't he dress up and be responsible for a younger sibling or relative at the same time. Especially if its trick or treating to people who know him then they won't feel intimidated.

Nataleejah Thu 27-Oct-16 22:12:15

YABU. Let him go with his friends

anotheronebitthedust Thu 27-Oct-16 22:19:13

3luckystars - If another adult (i.e. NOT one accompanying a young child, which is perfectly fine) knocked on my door in the dark, wearing a costume and begging for sweeties I would think it was fucking weird and certainly not give them anything. I might even call 101 just to let them know - I think you're being really selfish actually. While I might just be a bit hmm , it would really scare my gran and other elderly people living alone, or my friend's mum with dementia. Plus if I opened the door to one adult weirdo I would be less likely to answer the next time it rang, when it was actually kids.

I really like Halloween btw, and am usually an advocate for adults enjoying 'childish' things for as long as they want - as long as it is appropriate and doesn't have a negative effect on others

It's not ageism - they're not missing out if they are old enough to buy their own sweets, which most kids of secondary school are, and also have the opportunity to use the vending machines in schools, go to the corner shop etc, which younger children don't. If you are going to use that ridiculous logic then its 'ageism' for ten year olds to miss out on staying out after ten pm, or watching 18 rated films - DIFFERENT THINGS ARE APPROPRIATE FOR DIFFERENT AGES!

iminshock Thu 27-Oct-16 22:31:26

Beyond unreasonable

Willow2016 Thu 27-Oct-16 22:42:16

We have teens round here all dressed up guising with the best of them!
No age limit, if he wants to go then let him.

Why try and make his halloween what you want it to be when his mates are all going out?

He is going to feel pretty left out if all his mates are going out and he is stuck at home, he is only 12, its not his fault he is tall.

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