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To take my 3 year old out of 'term time' with his Childminder

(60 Posts)
whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 21:35:38

My Son has just turned 3 (i4 days ago). He gets 15 free hours as I'm currently on income support. I live a very isolated live, away from my Family. I moved here for my now ex as he is from here. His Family see our Son every week.

My Parents do not drive and are carers for my Autistic nephew who they have every weekend (Brother has serious disabilities himself and is a Single Parent). I try and go down to visit my Parents when it's convenient and stay for two weeks. I love it, My Son absolutely loves it. He goes to the seaside, he plays with his Cousins, he never wants to go home.

I chose a good childminder for my Son who he sees for 15 hours a week. He enjoys it, I wouldn't say he absolutely loves it but he's happy to go and play with the children.

I wasn't able to go to my Parents this half term so I had planned to go in three weeks time but my Son's Dad has said I'm not taking him out of term time with his Childminder. I was like 'what term time'. Now I'm sorry but it's not like he's 4 and in compulsory education! He's only just turned 3!!! The Childminder doesn't ind as she gets paid anyway. He learns more with my Parents than he does with her as he gets so much attention and love.

I don't see any problem in visiting my parents for two weeks with my 3 year old. AIBU?

Trifleorbust Thu 27-Oct-16 21:36:24


booellesmum Thu 27-Oct-16 21:39:12

No - still trying to get my head around the concept of terms at a childminder.

Mozismyhero Thu 27-Oct-16 21:39:25

Not at all.

CurtainsforRonnie Thu 27-Oct-16 21:39:58


yesterdaysunshine Thu 27-Oct-16 21:40:37

Not BU at all but wouldn't a nursery be better for him?

Mummyamy123 Thu 27-Oct-16 21:41:17

No. Do it smile works for you and I'm sure your childminder will be happy with the break!

MiniAlphaBravo Thu 27-Oct-16 21:41:34

Yanbu. There's no such thing as term time when you're 3. Your ex seems to still be controlling you if you moved to a new town for his sake away from family and isolated yourself?! He doesn't get to dictate your whole life.

Geillis Thu 27-Oct-16 21:41:57

Out of term-time? What's he on about? Pre-school childcare doesn't have 'terms'. Is he paying the childminder, is that why he's saying no?

Starlight2345 Thu 27-Oct-16 21:42:16

Of course it isn't unreasonable..Its not school.

I am a childminder to be honest I encourage my parents to go term time holidays while the children aren't in school. I plan what we are doing to give children opportunity to develop.. All learning is just play at this age.

Does he have any reason for his bizairre attitude?

Rainydayspending Thu 27-Oct-16 21:42:23

No. That's odd. Is ex a teacher? I just can't see the relevance.

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 21:42:28

He's going to nursery in September. He's not better off in Nursery, he gets more individual attention with a Childminder and prefers outdoors to being in one room.

Geillis Thu 27-Oct-16 21:42:30

YANBU btw.

slightlypeevedwombat Thu 27-Oct-16 21:43:11

Sounds like your ex (? Hopefully) is trying to control you via your DC

Ignore him and visit your family

slightlypeevedwombat Thu 27-Oct-16 21:43:53

I'd also look at moving back to your home town if that's feasible

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 21:45:59

I think he has a weird crush on the Childminder to be honest.She's a married woman, has no interest in him, he knows that, but I think he fancies her. Don't know if that would affect his thinking.

He has a slight obsession with how wonderful she is, how our Son is brilliant with her, She's taught him so much. No matter what he learns he says it's her that taught him it and not me. It's nasty but I ignore it. It's stupidity at best.

yesterdaysunshine Thu 27-Oct-16 21:46:22

I thought all three year olds got fifteen free hours in the UK for nursery.

cece Thu 27-Oct-16 21:47:33

I agree - if I were you I would look into moving back nearer to your own family.

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 21:47:44

I can't wait to move back near my family. Unfortunately until I get a job I can't. I'm qualified with a professional degree but it's hard to get a job in the area my parents are from. Sometime I think of just moving back without a job and transferring my council house but then I fear I might never find work. So it's a tough one.

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 21:48:20

Yes all 3 years old get 15 hours free. I got the 2 year funding too because of my income support. Thats what I meant.

PoldarksBreeches Thu 27-Oct-16 21:50:01

3 year olds get free hours in the term following their 3rd birthday so not right away.

yesterdaysunshine Thu 27-Oct-16 21:51:20

No but still when they are three. Anyway splitting hairs. Bonkers system that someone not working gets free hours though - sorry op, obviously that's not your fault!

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 21:51:38

And yes I would only have got in from Janurary if I'd not been on income support.

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 21:52:31

I would much rather be working. The free hours were essential for me to apply for jobs and get some sanity/childfree hours.

yesterdaysunshine Thu 27-Oct-16 21:53:12

No comment!

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