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I probably am bu

(14 Posts)
leanback Thu 27-Oct-16 19:10:00

In act I know I am but this whole thing is filling me with dread. Dp's birthday in a week. Had plans with the in laws to come down at the weekend for a nice lunch, table booked and everything. Dp calls me today to say mil has been on the phone and has found some deal for a hotel stay and meal and wants to know if we'd mind doing this instead. Dp asked me and I said if that's what he wants as it's his birthday. But actually it's pissed me off. Plans had been made and they are getting changed a week before. And that's not my only bug bear.

For starters it'll be myself and dp, dps parents, dps sister and her boyfriend of six months who we've met twice. We don't like him, he isn't incredibly obnoxious and tbh I don't see why dp has to spend his birthday with someone he doesn't like just because his sister can't go one day without seeing him. Dp's parents will be paying for everything. Dp and myself have been together five years and we never get invited away with his parents yet his sister goes every time and gets paid for. Dp has even asked before if he'd like to go but been told he'd have to pay which he wasn't financially able to do at the time.

The hotel is in a big tourist spot and is very expensive, though looking at photos online it doesn't look like somewhere I would personally enjoy.

I'm being a snobby bitch aren't I blush. It doesn't help that me and dp had an argument onlY last weekend because I asked him to come visit my dm with me and he felt he was wasting half his weekend doing something he wouldn't enjoy. But then it is his birthday isn't it...

Fishface77 Thu 27-Oct-16 19:17:40

I'd be ill.

leanback Thu 27-Oct-16 19:20:25

Dp would probably be able to tell I'm faking.

He doesn't really care about going himself. Just feels like he has to say yes to make his mum happy.

mum2Bomg Thu 27-Oct-16 19:22:29

I'd just go and make the best of it to be honest. It is his birthday and if he didn't want to then he'd say so.

SleepyHare Thu 27-Oct-16 19:24:07

It's not your birthday and you're not paying.

Just go and be polite get it over with, maybe do something just you and dp the day after?

Sparklesilverglitter Thu 27-Oct-16 19:25:57

I'd go along, have some nice food and drinks and make the best by enjoying myself

myownprivateidaho Thu 27-Oct-16 19:34:51

To be honest, yes you are being unreasonable. It's his birthday, he wants to spend it with his family, just go and try to have a nice time or if you can't at least pretend to.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 27-Oct-16 19:38:27

And you say the new BF is obnoxious? hmm

Mollymoo78 Thu 27-Oct-16 19:41:36

Sounds like they're used to having things their way as they have a bit of money to throw around and you are right to feel as though your weekend has been hijacked. I think you'll just have to put up with it as its a special occasion but you do have my sympathy. Treat yourself when it's all over xx

leanback Thu 27-Oct-16 19:48:47

The first time I met the bf he continuously made 'jokes' at my expense about my intelligence etc. From a friend I'd have laughed, but as he was someone's I've just met I found it obnoxious, yes. He's not someone I feel comfortable around and neither does my dp.

kali110 Thu 27-Oct-16 19:52:54

It's not your day?
What exactly has the sisters bf done wrong? (apart from being invited and ofcourse paid for? hmm is that the problem?)

ImperialBlether Thu 27-Oct-16 19:55:39

Oh I'd really go armed for an evening with that bloke then, OP! Don't even try to talk to him about your intelligence, just say, "Isn't it funny that you always try to put me down?" and "Why do you do that, do you think?" etc.

Give us examples of what he's said and someone will come up with a great retort.

But having said that, I think your partner should say to his mum that he'd rather stick to the original plan.

steff13 Thu 27-Oct-16 20:29:04

What sorts of things did he say about your intelligence?

Cherrysoup Thu 27-Oct-16 20:32:57

Just front put the bf nd tell him he's being an obnoxious twat and is there a good reason for him being such an arse having met you all of twice. Easy. Don't sit there with a half smile taking it, I'd be raging at him. I think it's ok to do what your DP wants for his birthday, but telling you he won't visit your DM with you is extremely unfair. If he won't visit your DM, then I'd not be going on visits to see his family, I'm afraid.

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