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to ask your regrets

(119 Posts)
cjt110 Thu 27-Oct-16 16:54:46

I turn 30 in December and I'm not sure why but it has made me start thinking about my life and what it has turned out like.

We moved around a lot when I was a kid - not just locally but from one end of the country to another, to a completely different town. I studied at a uni in the next city.

My regret is I have no really close friends. The ones you've known all your life. I guess this is partly because we moved around and also, because as my Mum says, you have life stage friends.

I also regret being the follower in most friendships, rather than the equal/leader. I always feel on the outside.

Heratnumber7 Thu 27-Oct-16 16:55:56

I regret not having more children.

SpeckledyBanana Thu 27-Oct-16 17:00:10

I regret my A-Level choices.

phoenix1973 Thu 27-Oct-16 17:01:50

I regret not using my brain more.
I regret becoming a mother because I'm not very good at it. It's painfully hard. And I have a lovely child.

mylittlephoney Thu 27-Oct-16 17:25:02

I regret being too open on MN and having to NC.. I am deeply embarrassed blush

anyoldname76 Thu 27-Oct-16 17:35:35

my biggest regret is buying a house just before the market crashed, after my dh got made redundant i ended up having a stroke from all the stress of trying to pay the mortgage , we tried to sell but the mortgage company wouldnt let us sell it for 2 grand less than whst was owed on the mortgage, we ended up handing back the keys before it went to court. they ended up selling it for 20 grand less than what we owed, meaning we now owe them 20 grand instead of 2 if they had let us sell hmm

kissmethere Thu 27-Oct-16 19:35:27

That I didn't concentrate on a career and just worked for the sake of working. I sometimes think all I could have done if I'd have put myself in a better position financially when I was younger.

sorryoldwoman Thu 27-Oct-16 19:44:54

Getting married at 19 to a self-centered mentally abusive man to get out of my mums control. Should of gotten further education like my friends but I didn't have great self esteem to find a way and my parents weren't keen on encouraging me.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem Thu 27-Oct-16 19:46:28

Hmm, will probably be flamed but I can't be arsed with is what it is...yes I've made some shitty choices but I wouldn't have my beautiful DTDs otherwise smile

BolshierAryaStark Thu 27-Oct-16 19:58:29

I regret not fucking off abroad to work a few seasons before I hit my 20's.

YelloDraw Thu 27-Oct-16 20:00:04

anyoldname76 that is proper shit :-(

FlyingElbows Thu 27-Oct-16 20:02:30

I regret going to university to please my mother and letting her take my passion and my life from me.

Stillsadaboutit Thu 27-Oct-16 20:12:06


Stillsadaboutit Thu 27-Oct-16 20:12:59

Sorry, testing name change

A few years ago a friend of mine was going through a hard time

She had tried to commit suicide and threatened it a number of times

Stillsadaboutit Thu 27-Oct-16 20:15:21

Sorry, i am so afraid the name change will stop working

She rang to ask me a question about SS which had obviously pushed her over the edge

She told me she was going to kill herself

I insisted i come round if only to chat and have a cup of coffee

When i got to her house she had left, her body was found later

She died in the cold and alone rather than comfy in her nice warm bed

And that part is my fault

RiverTam Thu 27-Oct-16 20:17:05

I regret never having left the city of my birth. Yes, it's London but there's more to life than London and to have never left it and at 45 feels like an opportunity missed.

I regret my first marriage very much indeed.

ConvincingLiar Thu 27-Oct-16 20:17:44

Still sad about it that really doesn't sound like your fault at all! You were trying to best to be supportive. I hope your friend died knowing they were loved by you.

MargoChanning Thu 27-Oct-16 20:18:21

Not your fault Stills. It was their choice to go out that night, rather than stay and see you. How awful that you blame yourself. flowers

Itchyclit Thu 27-Oct-16 20:22:19

Loads - in no particular order:

* Not going to university
* Getting the cost base wrong when I started my own business - had to go bankrupt (as I borrowed personally to sustain a large unrealistic overhead)
* Not speaking to my mother for 12 years
* Not being a better partner & ending up divorced as a result
* Not recognising a relationship I was in was EA until I had been very hurt
* Not moving to London when I was in my 20's
* Not seeing Led Zepplin live at the O2 when I could have (ok frivolous)
* Writing a self indulgent list on a web forum

mum2Bomg Thu 27-Oct-16 20:22:37

Buying a house with a horrible man in my 20's. He lost his job and left me, the house was repossessed. I made arrangements to pay off all the joint debts and found out 1.5yrs later that he had declared himself bankrupt. Having said that, I wouldn't have met DH if that hadn't happened...

Stillsadaboutit Thu 27-Oct-16 20:24:43

Thank you both very much

Its just a massive regret of mine.

I shouldnt have said i would come round, i should have just turned up...i am normally much more sneaky

Maybe she would have postponed it

Anyway you are the only people who know about this

I havent told anyone...not even dh

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Thu 27-Oct-16 20:31:29

Losing touch with a good friend who fell on hard times and killed himself
Having a relationship with a horrible married man
Getting straight into a full on serious relationship when I started uni, which later broke up
Not having long term friends

Itchyclit Thu 27-Oct-16 20:33:25

Forgot to add - starting smoking when I was 14. Now 43 & still haven't been able to cease for good.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Thu 27-Oct-16 20:33:57

Absolutely not your fault Still. She made a choice to phone you and tell you, and also to go out and do it. Heartbreaking that she didn't/ couldn't make different decisions there, but 100% not your fault.

Graceflorrick Thu 27-Oct-16 20:38:08

I have no regrets as my decisions have brought me to where I am now. wine

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