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AIBU to ask for this sum of money from DS and his partner?

(205 Posts)
MightyJoeAverage Thu 27-Oct-16 14:18:40

I'll try to keep this short.

I've agreed that DS and his partner and my DGS can come and live in my house for a while; they're trying to save for a deposit and mortgage and we live in a pricey part of the UK, so it's not easy. They stayed for a month earlier this year and it worked well really given I'm used to living alone and they needed to find a way to establish the routine which works for my DGS who is not two yet. I didn't charge them anything that time, but I've told DS that this time I can't let them stay for free because of the impact on my utility bills etc.

They both work F/T, the other DGP's do a lot of childcare to enable my Dil to go work without sky high childcare costs. I work F/T too and live alone. How much would it be reasonable to ask for as a contribution for their stay in my home? I have a figure in mind but no idea if it's reasonable or not and before I speak to DS I'd like some help please. They would have a double bedroom and DGS will have his own room, all use of everything they need but would be buying and cooking their own food. I still pay a mortgage which is almost £600 pm.

The figure I have thought of is cheaper than rental where we are, so I'd thought of £500 pm for them all. I know that if they stay for longer than 6 weeks I have to notify the LA that I'm no longer eligible for single person discount on my council tax so I'm sort of taking this into account as well as the increased bills due to more use of water, electric, gas and so forth.

I'll shut up now, having failed to keep it short, but I'm happy to answer questions.


Floggingmolly Thu 27-Oct-16 14:21:45

I'd be inclined to charge them whatever the actual additional cost of them being there turns out to be; if the objective is to enable them to save?

minipie Thu 27-Oct-16 14:24:13

I can't really say if that's reasonable as I don't know what your bills and council tax are.

Do you know how much your bills went up last time they stayed? Also how much is the singe person discount that you would lose? I would certainly think you could add those two amounts together and ask for that. Plus maybe a bit for wear and tear (2 year olds can cause a fair bit of wear and tear...) Anything more and it's really charging rent rather than covering your costs.

pinkbraces Thu 27-Oct-16 14:24:41

If they are saving for a deposit, as long as it didn't incur additional costs for me I wouldn't charge anything. The more they save the quicker they can have a deposit.
They should of course pay the additional council tax and maybe include you in their food shop

Mishegoss Thu 27-Oct-16 14:25:50

If anything I would just charge the additional costs from bills etc. They'll end up having to be with you longer if you charge them loads anyway.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:25:56

I think that cost is quite high given that they are supposed to be saving for their own place.

I don't believe your bills will increase by 500£ at all.

What is reasonable is: half of gas and electric the 25% of your council tax increase and any other costs incurred by them but £500 is making a huge profit and defeats the object of their reason for staying in the first place.

NapQueen Thu 27-Oct-16 14:26:08

I would charge 200 pcm for the extra electricity and food.

500pcm feels like you would be trying to make some profit.

LemonBreeland Thu 27-Oct-16 14:26:22

£500 seems quite expensive to me, especially as it doesn't include food. Will this allow them to save a deposit?

How much extra gas, electric etc. do you think it will actually cost you? As well as your increase in council tax.

LemonBreeland Thu 27-Oct-16 14:27:37

You say this is cheaper than renting for them. But by how much? I could rent a 3 bed house where I live for around that amount.

ohisay Thu 27-Oct-16 14:27:59

How much was the extra cost last time? I would work it out, and tell them you need them to pay that, so that it is not cost to you and as cheap as possible for them. I'm sure they will understand x

myownprivateidaho Thu 27-Oct-16 14:28:22

FYI the childcare done by other GPs allows both your son and his wife to go without sky-high childcare costs. It's not like it's your DIL's job any more than your son's you know.

HighwayDragon1 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:28:53

I'd go with 400, half mortgage and bills

Mumto2uk Thu 27-Oct-16 14:29:42

If they both work FT, but their own food etc. How can you charge them that amount when they are trying to save. Exactly as others have posted. You must know how much approx amount that you spend on utilities each month and when they next come in ask for the extra its cost you. No way could that come to £500 wherever you live.

Mumto2uk Thu 27-Oct-16 14:30:05


myownprivateidaho Thu 27-Oct-16 14:30:55

And I agree that £500 per month is expensive. I'd say that you get them to cover two thirds of all the bills plus the difference in council tax when that kicks in.

IllMetByMoonlight Thu 27-Oct-16 14:32:02

I agree with Molly as a starting point, and then you need to decide for yourself if you want to ask for a further sum on top for the staying at your house itself, rent if you like, and be really clear with your DS about the different components.

GailLondon Thu 27-Oct-16 14:33:53

FYI the childcare done by other GPs allows both your son and his wife to go without sky-high childcare costs. It's not like it's your DIL's job any more than your son's you know.

Yes I was just coming on to make exactly the same point as myownprivateidaho . The childcare provided by the other grandparents is to help your son go to work, as well as your DIL. Childcare is not solely a womans responsibility.

But anyway back to your point, I think maybe up to £300? As that should really cover all increase in bills plus a little towards your mortgage

ICanCountToOneHundred Thu 27-Oct-16 14:34:54

Utilities and extra 25% Council tax would be fair, so £500 does seem a bit steep to be honest. Without knowing your council tax bill it would be difficult to hazard a guess but £250-300 would seem ample.

user1471494124 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:35:26

500 including everything? Sounds like a bargain to me! We would be able to save loads paying that!

TheNaze73 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:35:43

I think it seems about fair. They're getting two rooms all in. Market rate for one is normally about that with added bills

SpeckledyBanana Thu 27-Oct-16 14:35:52

Can I come and live with you for £500 all in? Seems entirely reasonable to me.

JellyBelli Thu 27-Oct-16 14:37:44

I'd ask for 50% of the utility bills, plus their food. £500 all in is generous for 3 people.

tofutti Thu 27-Oct-16 14:39:02

it does depend on how much they earn. Assuming they're on average salaries, I would charge £200-£250 per month per adult, as they're both in full time employment. And they should buy their own food.

That would allow them to save a good amount each month but also encourage them to save as much possible and move out.

If you don't charge anything, they may become too comfortable.

perditalost Thu 27-Oct-16 14:39:12

I dont think that you should profit from them. So ask them now for what your increase in council tax will be and then ask that they also cover any increase in bills (water if you have a meter, gas and electricity). Maybe ask that they contribute to buying communal things such as loo roll.

ICanCountToOneHundred Thu 27-Oct-16 14:39:38

I've agreed that DS and his partner and my DGS can come and live in my house for a while; they're trying to save for a deposit and mortgage and we live in a pricey part of the UK, so it's not easy.

To my thinking, if you only charge them what it will actually cost you for them to stay ie utilities & council tax then they will be able to save quicker, than charging them even a nominal rental figure.

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