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To be annoyed with mil?

(163 Posts)
lostowl Wed 26-Oct-16 19:04:09

Yes another mil post!

We left our 2 dc with her whilst we ran errands for a few hours. Whenever I leave my dc with dog owners I ask nicely that the dog is either kept outside or in its cage. I asked her and although she clearly wasn't up for it she agreed to put the dog in the cage as I don't really want the dog to lick my one year olds face or hands etc which it's done before. This particular dog growls when she's eating her food so that worries me too.

When we returned the dog was out of its cage and she said that the dog doesn't like the cage and was moaning. Ok then, I didn't make a fuss. But isn't her grandchildren's safety more important? And she wonders why we don't go over often. She simply goes against my husband and my wishes and quite frankly I'm not happy.

Am I being a big jerk?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Wed 26-Oct-16 19:06:54

No. I wouldn't leave my children there after that.

EllaHen Wed 26-Oct-16 19:07:15

YANBU. No more babysitting would be my solution.

ollieplimsoles Wed 26-Oct-16 19:08:23

Nope, you gave her a simple rule and she put a dog first, never again.

goadyfuckersgetmygoat Wed 26-Oct-16 19:09:00

Some people love dogs more than humans. I wouldn't leave my child with her.

ollieplimsoles Wed 26-Oct-16 19:09:12

Nope you gave her a simple rule and she chose the dog, never again.

ollieplimsoles Wed 26-Oct-16 19:09:45

No idea why that appeared twice... confused

ohfourfoxache Wed 26-Oct-16 19:10:26

Nope, wouldn't be happening again if I were in your position

CoraPirbright Wed 26-Oct-16 19:11:15

Yanbu. Even if she is stupid enough to think that her darling dog wouldn't hurt a fly (and perhaps she is right), you made a clear request. If the dog doesnt like its crate, why couldnt it be shut in a different room or out in the garden?

TitaniasTits Wed 26-Oct-16 19:12:33

I'm going to go against the grain and say YABU. it's the dogs' home and your MIL was doing you a favour. My mum has dogs and looks after my children frequently. I've asked her not to leave the kids alone with them, which she's happy to do; but I'd never ask her to put the dogs out or confine them while the DC are there. If I did, I doubt she'd look after them again in a hurry.

HarryPottersMagicWand Wed 26-Oct-16 19:12:56

YANBU. It's irresponsible dog owners like this that means babies and children get hurt or worse. If she wants to put a sodding dog before her grandchildren, then that's her lookout but she doesn't get to complain about it. That's exactly what I would say to her.

usual Wed 26-Oct-16 19:13:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrunkenMissOrderly Wed 26-Oct-16 19:13:24

Of course you need to find someone else to babysit. She did try and keep the dog in the crate but it was distressing the dog so it's not really an option. Get yourselves a babysitter and only take the kids to visit her when you are staying to supervise. Sounds like it's a better option for you, your mil AND the dog.

Soubriquet Wed 26-Oct-16 19:14:55


Like someone else said, your mil is doing you a favour. Take your child with you on your errands

Dogs do not live in cages and should only be crated for very short periods of time with the door shut.

It would be acceptable to have the dog behind a baby gate in another room but not shut in a crate

Trifleorbust Wed 26-Oct-16 19:15:23

I don't think it's unreasonable for you not to want your children to be unsupervised around a dog. But supervised, I think YABU. Just don't have them looking after them if you don't like their dog.

MalcolmTuckersEyebrows Wed 26-Oct-16 19:19:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostowl Wed 26-Oct-16 19:22:39

The dog is almost a non issue. It's her undermining me to be honest. She thinks she's god's gift to child rearing.

Putting the dog in the cage was a one off. I don't think it would have been scarred for life.

I love dogs, but I love my kids more. I simply won't leave them alone with the dog being there again. Sorted.

Coughingchildren5 Wed 26-Oct-16 19:25:00

YABU. Her house and her responsibility while you have left your child in her care.

However, I understand your concerns and wouldn't want my small children wandering around with dogs if the children had not been educated in how to interact with dogs. (E.g dog growls, move away!)

llangennith Wed 26-Oct-16 19:25:07

If my DD or DIL wanted my dogs crated or out of the house while the kids were here, then that's what would happen. YANBU.
Don't leave your DC with her again.

ThisIsReallyNotMyName Wed 26-Oct-16 19:26:33

YABU. It's her dog and her home. If you want her to babysit get her to do it at your house without her dog or get another sitter.

lostowl Wed 26-Oct-16 19:49:57

Yep I've learnt my lesson. They will not go there again without us there. She'll wonder now why they won't be babysat there. Perhaps I'll tell her. I don't think she's smart enough to realise the connection or perhaps she thinks I'll take her undermining lying down. Who knows.

takesnoprisoners Wed 26-Oct-16 19:50:56

oh please! YABU! If you want someone who will listen to every instruction of yours, you should pay someone. And your child will survive being licked by a dog.

Soubriquet Wed 26-Oct-16 19:52:05

Oh jeez. Lay off with the woe is me attitude

Hotwaterbottle1 Wed 26-Oct-16 19:52:48

My dog would be really distressed at being caged so I'd never agree, therefore I'd be upfront and tell you no. I wouldn't go against your wishes.

Katy07 Wed 26-Oct-16 19:56:14

YABU. It's the dog's home, not yours or your childrens'. The child can have its face or hands washed in the same way that it would if it was playing in the garden. If you don't like how your MIL runs her home then don't leave your kids there. And as for expecting anyone else to shut their dogs out when you go round!! Yes, don't leave the kids alone with a dog (or a cat if the kids can't be trusted to respect it) but don't expect everyone to fall over themselves for you.

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