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AIBU to be annoyed if clothes I passed on have been re-sold

(237 Posts)
iklelis83 Wed 26-Oct-16 09:51:28

Hi I have been passing one Kids outgrown clothes to a friend (call them F) to whom I'm under impression are a bit tight on money.
im aware of other people also passing on clothes too.
It's come to my attention that F has re-sold a set of some of the clothes been passed onto F.
So I wanted to get others feeling on this as initially I'm a bit Pd off if F is not buying clothes for their kids, taking clothes off other people & selling them to make a profit.
I've not sold clothes before because Im under impression F is bit tight on money so want to save them money. However I have 2 kids & need to buy 2 lots of clothes & a little annoyed at others around me assuming I am financially comfortable more so than F.
Would anyone else be annoyed or just let it go & say good luck to F if they can make some money back?
Many thanks all

kiki22 Wed 26-Oct-16 09:53:41

This pisses me off I always say when you are finished please hand them back or to charity if I wanted the things sold I would have sold them myself.

LadyCallandraDaviot Wed 26-Oct-16 09:53:42

I'd be a bit annoyed.
I have been in F's position, and been really grateful for DC clothes passed to me, I did consider selling some, but decided not to, as it would be unfair on the people who had passed them on to me.

KarmaNoMore Wed 26-Oct-16 10:00:38

They are no longer your clothes. If you think you could have made the money yourself out of selling them, then do so next time.

Personally, I do not have the time or inclination to be faffing around with eBay or stressing with difficult buyers so I am grateful my friend takes DS' outgrown clothes from us and save me the trip I will never do to the charity shop. Whatever she wants to do with the clothes once they are handed over is her choice.

I would add to that that I have a friend who often handed over stuff from her son to mine. Many clothes won't fit, they also have birthdays at opposite times of the year which means at the time they would fit DS they wouldn't be adequate for the weather. So although I'm grateful she thinks of us, sometimes I wish she didn't as that only gives me yet more things to dispose off.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Wed 26-Oct-16 10:03:12

YABU, unless you had asked for them back after they were done with them.

KarmaNoMore Wed 26-Oct-16 10:04:44

Hand the old clothes over back when they finish with them??? I only had one person asking that and I still CRINGE at the memory.

Sorry, they are kids, the clothes are old and will get further damaged. Do you want her to keep stressing over old clothes so you can have your even older clothes back a year later??? hmm

user1477427207 Wed 26-Oct-16 10:05:28

I see why you would feel miffed but to be honest, once you give something away you no longer have control over it.

PoppyBirdOnAWire Wed 26-Oct-16 10:07:41

Charming person. She clearly has no scruples. Astonishing.

AliceInHinterland Wed 26-Oct-16 10:09:06

I think it's very rude. If she must do this I think she should offer to split the proceeds. As the donor I'd probably refuse, but she would get money for the time and effort and I'd get money for the clothes. Seems fair.

EssentialHummus Wed 26-Oct-16 10:09:30

Unless you asked for them back after she was done with them, YABU.

This may not have even been a money-making scheme - if 2/3 people all gave her clothes for the same age / size, there may have been more there than she could realistically use.

ijustwannadance Wed 26-Oct-16 10:09:45

Sell them yourself then instead of giving them to her.

They might not fit her DC or be their taste. How do you know she isn't using profit to buy clothes?

QuiteLikely5 Wed 26-Oct-16 10:10:43

Did you specifically tell her not to sell them?

Probably not. I know it sucks that she's making a profit from you but I suppose she didn't just want to throw them away.

Next time state the facts to her and only then do you have the right to be peeved

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Wed 26-Oct-16 10:10:55

Personally, anything I have been given, I pass along, or give to charity. I mainly give things away, but occasionally sell bigger, more expensive items. I think it's really cheeky to sell them on, but that's my opinion. I wouldn't ask for them back, just hope they'd pass them along or to charity if they were in good enough condition!

JennyOnAPlate Wed 26-Oct-16 10:11:09

It depends. If she's selling them because she is genuinely struggling and needs the money to feed her children, fair enough. If she's using the money to get her nails done, not so fair enough.

howno Wed 26-Oct-16 10:11:34

I wouldn't ask for them back but to sell clothes you've been kindly given is a massive no no. I wouldn't be giving them anything else.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Wed 26-Oct-16 10:11:59

I mean I sell items I have bought myself, not anything that's been given. Before I give to a friend/charity, I always ask the person who gave it me whether they would like it back if it's a bigger item.

charlestonchaplin Wed 26-Oct-16 10:12:55

If money is tight for her maybe there are other things she needs more than clothes, like food.

carmenta Wed 26-Oct-16 10:14:31

Why shouldn't she sell them? They're not yours any more. If you still need them for DC2 then don't pass them on.

ToastedOrFresh Wed 26-Oct-16 10:14:33

I gave away some of my old mums clothes via Freecycle. I suspect I was scammed, i.e. they would be sold.

I didn't mind I just wanted rid of the clothes. I just felt a bit ripped off having to deliver them to the address then got told the person who phoned me to ask for them was in the bath hmm

I still Freecycle was good even if it just became a piss take for greedy freeloaders.

Anyway, Freecycle has been covered on other threads, back on topic from now on please.

PoppyBirdOnAWire Wed 26-Oct-16 10:15:54

She will **know that the clothes were given to her for her children to wear. Why are people trying to excuse the woman's behaviour?

PandasRock Wed 26-Oct-16 10:16:01

I've just been given a massive load of stuff for ds. I said as I took it that I'd have a sort through and see what was needed/useful (friend was doing a huge clearout, I hadn't asked, her ds is 3 years older than mine, so there'll be a range of stuff), and asked whether any of it was wanted back.

Anything not suitable I'll either put into charity (saving friend a job) or eBay if I summon the energy (still saving friend a job).

I can't see the problem.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 26-Oct-16 10:16:57

Give them away or sell them yourself.

If you give with conditions it's not a gift. Unless you are loaning things what people do with them when they are finished is not your business.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Wed 26-Oct-16 10:20:45

I wouldn't be pleased but rather than say anything, I just wouldn't give again to that person.

I know once they're given, they're no longer yours and the recipient is technically free to do as they please with them; but I do find it rather crass when they then try to make money out of it.

furryminkymoo Wed 26-Oct-16 10:21:51

I may have sold some as part of a bundle but only an odd thing and the person giving them to me didn't mind.

My annoyance is a friend who kept asking for baby clothes despite knowing that I was trying for another.

KatharinaRosalie Wed 26-Oct-16 10:23:59

Unless you specifically asked for them back and said it's just a loan, she is free to do whatever she wants with them.

If she's hard up, she might need something else more and uses the money for that. I would only have issues if you only gave her the things because she lied about being tight on money, but that does not seem to be the case.

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