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Neglect or just crap parenting?

(402 Posts)
selly24 Tue 25-Oct-16 16:27:57

Leaving a child age 5 alone in house while running an errand taking 15 mins.
A friend seems to do this a lot. Not witnessed directly but from what parent had said eg ' DC woke up and I was on errand so was upset with me' and from what child refers to or assumes.
Eg when babysitting -' oh, why do I need to come when you go do X? Parent always leaves me here.
Was mortified when first heard bu thought prob a one off, as parent's OH was away, but seems to be a regular increasingly concerned. Should I be.?

BeautyGoesToBenidorm Tue 25-Oct-16 16:30:16

I'd be concerned. Hell would freeze over before I left my 5yo unattended like that - what if something happened to her while she was out? She could get hit by a bus for all she knew, and her DC would be alone and frightened. It doesn't bear thinking about.

NoIsAnAnswer Tue 25-Oct-16 16:36:11

I'd say it's both crap parenting and neglect.

oldlaundbooth Tue 25-Oct-16 16:37:16

Not on.

anniroc Tue 25-Oct-16 16:37:27

Jesus yes, that's terrible.

Trifleorbust Tue 25-Oct-16 16:38:02

I would call that neglect. A 5 year old is way too young to be left alone in a house sad

Enb76 Tue 25-Oct-16 16:56:20

I used to leave my five year old for about 10 mins to do an errand. I'm not a neglectful parent. I would never have left her asleep to wake up on her own. I'd tell her where I was going and how long I'd be. She's now still alive at 8 and I am happy to leave her for longer periods. She's a sensible child.

Thirtyrock39 Tue 25-Oct-16 16:57:39

Legally it's dodgy before 10 I thought or even 12?

NavyandWhite Tue 25-Oct-16 16:58:47

5 years old? You can't leave them locked in the house whilst you "pop out on an errand"

Tomorrowillbeachicken Tue 25-Oct-16 16:59:54

Neglect. I wouldn't leave my 5 year old alone.

NavyandWhite Tue 25-Oct-16 17:00:38

Enb what if you were waylaid for whatever reason and the 10 mins turned into 20,30,45 mins?

How would your DC have coped or wondered where you were?

Hateloggingin Tue 25-Oct-16 17:00:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MyPeriodFeatures Tue 25-Oct-16 17:01:44

Um, would I do that? No. I have a friend who will do this, leave her 2 6 & 4 while she pops to shop over the road.

People know their children and we need to remember there are children that young in other countries fending entirely for themselves.

Neglect and abuse? No

Potentially negligent?? Yes, ever so slightly smile

TeacherBob Tue 25-Oct-16 17:02:03

I used to leave my five year old for about 10 mins to do an errand. I'm not a neglectful parent

Sorry but you are

And in a court of law, even though there is no set age, you would be prosecuted under the 'left at risk' part of the law. Clearly a 5 year old, if alone, is at risk.

So you may feel it is ok, but the law would say differently.

MyPeriodFeatures Tue 25-Oct-16 17:02:28

Not ever so slightly, just negligent.

Waltermittythesequel Tue 25-Oct-16 17:04:17

Absolutely shit parenting whatever way you look at it.

RhodaBorrocks Tue 25-Oct-16 17:04:59

I can remember my DM running to the postbox 200 yards down the road and back again whilst I was quite young, but not before she had my DSis (who is 7 years younger), so I'm guessing maybe when I was around 9?

I have left my DS (9) indoors whilst I take the bins out or go to get something from my car in our car park. We live in a flat complex though so those things can take a few minutes as I have to walk a little way to get to them, but I've only started doing it this year. When DS was 5 I wouldn't have left him in the house unattended - going to the loo was bad enough!!!

DearTeddyRobinson Tue 25-Oct-16 17:06:39

No way in hell should a 5 year old be left alone. It's stupid, irresponsible, and against the law.
I suppose it depends how well you know the person OP but either you have a firm word with them, or give SS a call. Maybe a good talking to from the authorities would set them straight?

Tomorrowillbeachicken Tue 25-Oct-16 17:11:03

What errand is so important that you leave a child that young alone?

redexpat Tue 25-Oct-16 17:13:02

Actually I think the senario a pp mentioned upthread is fine. The senario in the OP where the child wakes up alone is upset and scared is not ok.

My Mum would also ring the butcher then go 200 yds down the road to collect it while I was at home and younger than 5.

Oysterbabe Tue 25-Oct-16 17:14:00

Yep it's bad parenting and neglect.

WashingMatilda Tue 25-Oct-16 17:14:19

Won't say too much as outing but I've arrested someone for child neglect when she went to the hairdressers and the child had got out and was found walking along a dual carriageway.
It's cool though because it was 'just a trim' hmm

Headofthehive55 Tue 25-Oct-16 17:14:38

No I wouldn't leave mine. Not until they are about ten. Things can set on fire, floods happen.

Trifleorbust Tue 25-Oct-16 17:16:49

I can't see why a child of 5 needs to be left alone while you go down the road to the butcher or wherever. Surely they can just walk next to you? An emergency it is not.

toptoe Tue 25-Oct-16 17:18:07

Neglect. It's regular and probably not just for 15 mins. The child wakes up alone and would be up to all sorts. I would wonder what else was going on as her idea of looking after a small child is out of whack. Where is dad? Can you offer to have him round when she pops out? Does she need some additional support?

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