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...to ask if you are a be-er rather than a do-er.

(6 Posts)
Littlepleasures Mon 24-Oct-16 17:58:21

Just finished reading a biography of Queen Victoria where the author describes her as a "be-er more than a do-er, a contemplative not an active personality." Struck a chord with me. I am definitely more of a be-er. Have tried in the past to become more 'active' - running clubs, baby groups, raising funds for charities etc but have always felt emotionally exhausted, as if I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. Always felt guilty about this, thinking was I just lazy and selfish. Now that I'm getting on in years though I have accepted myself for who I am and can watch friends who are do-ers with more understanding of what makes us so different without feeling I need to change.

MsVestibule Mon 24-Oct-16 18:22:02

I'm definitely a be-er!! I would love to be a do-er, and I have actually managed (in the past) to hold down a reasonably demanding job, but only because I had the discipline of going into work every day.

I took on a voluntary role as treasurer for our local church - trying to force myself to pay the bills on time, keep the books up to date and look for better deals for gas/electric etc in my own time was actually quite bad for my mental health.

I'm a fantastic procrastinator, but wish I was the type of person who just got on with things. Having said that, one of my friends (who is that type) says that she wishes she could just sit down and relax without worrying about all of the outstanding things on her 'to do' list!

NipSlipper Mon 24-Oct-16 18:23:29

DH is a do-er, I'm a be-er. Bit of friction at times because of that, but I think mainly we compliment each other.

I get mentally frazzled by too much 'doing'. I think 'being' is better (based! grin)....we stop to smell the roses more often.

NipSlipper Mon 24-Oct-16 18:23:42

*biased

redexpat Mon 24-Oct-16 18:25:22

I switch between the 2. I cant be 100% be-er, but my idea of doing is more low key than some others. I was miserable at a Girl Guide weekend recently. There was just too much going on and it completely knackered me out, and we have the easiest most pleasant guides in the world.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Mon 24-Oct-16 18:32:11

I'm a be-er who has a lot of do-er relatives. Like PP it mostly works but has led to some slightly strained times.

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