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..to consider cancelling a job interview?

(16 Posts)
Meandacat Mon 24-Oct-16 10:52:44

I currently work in a field which is in the front line for cuts. I’ve been told my current job is secure in the short-term, but the long-term future is uncertain. But in any case, I far from enjoy my current job, it’s a dead-end in and of itself and it causes me waayy more stress than it warrants. I have managed to negotiate to go part-time from January which I am hoping will help alleviate some of the stress, though I worry I am shooting myself in the foot long-term, and I also worry about my finances. But I’m prepared to take that risk and DH has agreed.

In the meantime I have succeeded in getting an interview for a higher-grade job. It’s in the same field but a different sector, and will require moving from our small town to a city. I have been looking for an opportunity like this for nearly 3 years, but had not originally intended moving. The more I look at what this entails for my family, the more I worry I am being very selfish. I am now tying myself in knots and even considering turning down the interview.

My doubts arise from:
1) Big increase in mortgage – house prices in the new location make anything else impossible. Added to this is the sheer cost of moving.
2) Upheaval for DD, who is 6 ½. We currently live in a nice community where we have managed to make friends (mostly since arrival of DD!) and DD also has many friends, outside activities and loves her school. I know kids adapt, but she is rather shy. She is so happy where she is, I feel awful even suggesting we move. I tried sounding her out and she was heartbroken.
3) I now realise I was actually looking forward to working part-time. Apart from my 8 months maternity leave, I have always worked F/T. Deciding to try P/T has been a huge decision, partly because I earn the bigger income (which isn’t saying much, believe me) and partly because I have felt it was always expected. But I am beginning to realise that I am actually not as career-minded as I thought. I was so looking-forward to being able to be a proper mum/wife for a couple of extra days a week instead of always rushing out the door and leaving DH (who works from home) to do a half-arsed job (he does his best, but he’s just not as good at domestic stuff as I am). I know that is entirely un-PC, but there it is. Prior to getting this interview, I had intended using my extra time off to explore another area of work entirely - something more flexible, from home, if I'm lucky. Working P/T would give me a small window of opportunity to be there a bit more for DD while she is still young, and for her not to be in childcare 5 days a week.
4) For all I know, this new job may end up causing me as much stress as my current one.

But then, this is the only secure, viable alternative to my current job I have been presented with in three years of looking. And it is a good job. If it could be P/T and/or I didn’t have to move, I wouldn’t hesitate. But as it is, I’m making myself feel ill.And yes - the fact that I may not even be offered the job is not lost on me!! DH keeps telling me to park my worries til then, but I’m finding it impossible.

Meandacat Mon 24-Oct-16 10:59:36

And yes, I am a born worrier and yes, I know this is rather a first-world problem.

MuggaTea Mon 24-Oct-16 11:01:47

Go to the interview. You have nothing to lose.

If you are made an offer, you can then think about it. Give yourself more time.
You will find out more information about the job preparing for the interview and at it.

Hoppinggreen Mon 24-Oct-16 11:02:33

I always think that you can't make a decision about taking a job until it has been offered to you.

ImperialBlether Mon 24-Oct-16 11:02:39

Oh I'd stay put and go half time! I did that when my children were young (three days per week) and it was ideal. You might find you enjoy your job more when you're not there as much!

Astro55 Mon 24-Oct-16 11:05:42

Go for the interview - it's really good experience -

They may have other openings they'd consider you for in the future!

You can't turn it down unless it's offered to you

ChuckBiscuits Mon 24-Oct-16 11:12:44

Go do the interview and proceed as if you want the job. If you get an offer, then wrestle with the decision. Currently you have no decision to make.

tava63 Mon 24-Oct-16 11:17:08

The mind has a great facility to cause confusion.....sometimes because it is trying to protect you. Going for an interview is hugely stressful (your worrying indicates this) - and time consuming and of course typically there is more chance of being rejected than offered a job. This means the stress response kicks in big time....at present you are going in the direction of 'flight' rather than 'fight'. Use this interview as an opportunity to decide what you really want for you and your family if you get offered the role and as you are going through the process.....better that than having regrets about not checking out opportunities in the future. I had a similarish experience, was offered the job but through the process found it was very different than had been initially advertised so turned it down.

Meandacat Mon 24-Oct-16 12:55:32

Thanks everyone - but especially ImperialBlether for getting how I feel and tava63 for helping me understand my reaction!
I know I should go for the interview and probably will. Just having such major cold feet. But yes, maybe I'll get the right (or wrong) vibes when I get there, which will help.

If anyone has moved because of work (themselves or partner), I would love to know what the impact was... confused

BitchyInnerMonologue Mon 24-Oct-16 12:59:29

Moved with DH's work. A few hundred miles. I'm not lying, it wasn't easy. However, DS settled in quickly, I found a job after taking a year off, and we're coping really well. It was a leap of faith, but I think it was worth it.

Go to the interview and then decide. The interview itself may sway the decision (if you like the people, environment etc)
With regards to where you move could you move to a small town close to the new job and drive to work?

As other people have said, you haven't been offered the job so no decision needs to be made yet

blueshoes Mon 24-Oct-16 16:07:46

To echo everyone, go for the interview. You have nothing to lose and avoids the 'what ifs'. It is good intelligence gathering, interview practice and helps to clarify your mind about what you want.

I find that preparing for an interview tends to makes me want the job more, as I get psyched up for the interview, whereas I may have been lukewarm before.

I have never regretted a move yet. My only regrets are that I stayed too long in one place.

travailtotravel Mon 24-Oct-16 16:11:10

No way to take the job and commute? I think you should go for the interview then decide. You may have nothing to decide if they don't make an offer!

mostlyslowly Mon 24-Oct-16 16:17:01

Meanda,
I gave up f/t in June to become my wife's f/t carer having been a career man for nearly 40 years. Involved serious downsizing of house etc. Stressful at the time, but has turned out to be the best move for us both. With hindsight, my job provided more stress and less satisfaction than this does. I'm happy for the first time in a long time. Someone much cleverer than I once said, no-one wishes on their death bed that they'd spent longer at the office. Be happy

JoJoSM2 Mon 24-Oct-16 16:29:41

I don't think I'd bother. You mention exploring other options, which gives me the impression that the job in the city is not the one and only amazing job you could possibly have... I work part-time and I have to say it has been great for work-life balance - I'm learning other things and have more time for leisure. And it IS definitely less stressful to do the same job part rather then full time.

TheProblemOfSusan Mon 24-Oct-16 16:34:40

I don't think you've anything to lose by going to the interview and seeing what it's like, but fwiw as an interviewer, I don't think badly of candidates that let us know ahead of time that they won't be making the interview. You don't even need to give us much reason - a polite "circumstances have changed" is fine.

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