To think this friendship is over

(17 Posts)
wrigglytoes Mon 24-Oct-16 10:29:26

Been friends with this girl since we were very small, grew up in same street, never really had the same things in common but always been friends. Had our ups and downs when we were younger but that's years ago.
Anyway she had a child very young and I was her godmother, we have both gone on to have more dcs and be involved in each other's lives, weddings etc.
She has moved out of the area a few times and I always made the effort to go and see her, she doesn't drive, other friends didn't.
She moved nearer and I've been there for her in times such as when she had an affair and friends turned against her and told her husband.
Recently she has got a new group of friends, not my cup of tea but I've made an effort with them. I see it that she is my friend not them, if she invites me round there will be several of these other friends who are ok but I just don't have anything in common and certainly don't want to talk about my life or things important to me with them there. If I tried to make arrangements to do something the two of us or invite her to mine then she would make an excuse at the last minute.
We started to drift apart, she forgot both of my ds's birthdays one got his card 4 months late!
The last two times we went out socially (with her friends) she got drunk and started having a go at me for not being a good enough friend and not being there for her. Her new friends were cool with me and one of them made a cryptic comment on fb about true friends clearly aimed at me.
The next day I told her that I don't want to fall out with her but I don't want to be involved with these new friends or do anything with her when she is drinking (she is a terrible drunk and I usually bear the brunt of it if her dh isn't there). I told her I'm more than happy to meet up with her or both families to see each other and do things. This has never happened.
Since this we haven't seen each other in over a year except to post xmas or birthday cards or text to say happy birthday.
It was her ds 21st birthday recently (my goddaughter) and I noticed on Facebook she had a party, all her new friends invited and comments made about true friends not being the people you have known the longest.
Should I say anything, I did say I didn't want to be involved with these friends, is this my own fault, should I just accept the friendship is over and stop posting cards etc?

Chickpearocker Mon 24-Oct-16 10:33:51

If I were you I would leave it now, if she wants to get in touch she knows where you are, sounds like you have been a wonderful friend but haven't seen your friendship returned flowers.

JoJoSM2 Mon 24-Oct-16 10:37:36

It does seem that you've completely drifted apart and she hasn't made much effort at all. I'd probably stop bothering with her.

ImperialBlether Mon 24-Oct-16 10:39:08

Isn't that what the block button is for?

KC225 Mon 24-Oct-16 10:43:58

I don't think you need to say anything. You said you piece and you haven't seen each other in over a year. You weren't invited to the party despite her knowing you would see it on Facebook.

Don't feel the need to keeping poking these dying embers. Remove her from your Facebook. Reading comments from her friends will just irritate you. Stop sending birthday cards (especially to grown up Children). Send a family Christmas card if you want don't want to pull all the shutters down.

It sounds like you have been a good friend to her and she has chosen a different path. Sometimes friendships run its course. Sad but a fact of life.

rainbowstardrops Mon 24-Oct-16 10:44:29

I'd let her get on with it.

Cherrysoup Mon 24-Oct-16 10:48:27

The last comment re true friends not being those you've known the longest is very vicious. I'd like it then block her, just to be contrary. You've moved on in life.

pictish Mon 24-Oct-16 10:48:49

I'd let her drift, yes.

She sounds quite troubled and a lover of the drama...and maybe a bit emotionally immature. In other words, like bloody hard work.

Life is too short. x

SheSparkles Mon 24-Oct-16 11:00:50

You sound like an amazing friend, she doesn't deserve you. You've done all you can, this is the time to walk away and not look back.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 24-Oct-16 11:18:11

Yes, it's run its course.
Shame for your goddaughter, but if she's 21, then she can choose to get in touch with you off her own bat, can't she - and she hasn't.

Let it go - it's sad when these things end, especially when you can't really see a reason for it, but I don't think you can bring this one back.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Mon 24-Oct-16 11:33:10

unfollow her on facebook for starters

and walk away, its ever so sad when this happens - but enough of the bitching and passive aggressive posts, trim her and walk away

Liiinoo Mon 24-Oct-16 11:35:58

It sounds over, at least for now. If that upsets you or you miss her I would keep sending cards. If you genuinely aren't bothered just let it go.

ilongforlustre Mon 24-Oct-16 11:40:04

It's run it's course. Sad but you can be confident that you couldn't have done more.

If it's your Godchild that you are concerned about... in the church I was Christened into Godparents become redundant if you like when the child becomes an adult. Taking responsibility for themselves.

girlywhirly Mon 24-Oct-16 11:42:45

Unless she named you in the FB post, I would simply ignore and unfriend/block. Her new 'friends' can deal with her dramas and when she is drunk, and see how long it takes before she behaves the same way to them. More fool them to believe whatever lies she tells.

TheWitTank Mon 24-Oct-16 12:15:30

Yes, its over. PA posts on facebook, forgetting birthdays, having a go when drunk, rude new friends. Block on facebook, delete her number and move on. As you said, you don't have much in common. It won't be much of a loss.

wrigglytoes Mon 24-Oct-16 16:25:49

Thanks all, I think I already knew the answer, just needed it confirming and seeing it written down in black and white made me realise it's definitely not worth the hassle, still sad but hey ho that's life!

Aeroflotgirl Mon 24-Oct-16 17:01:09

Yes the friendship has run its course, just leave it now. I would even delete her off Facebook too.

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