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To order this in anticipation of the fact that ex won't

(10 Posts)
Chipscheesentomatosauce Mon 24-Oct-16 02:31:10

DS has has his first high school Halloween event next week and has heart set on a costume he saw online. He will be staying with his dad that night so I decided I'd let him get on with doing some organising.

It seems he has all but dismissed the idea of getting the costume and has instead told DS he will take him into our extremely shit town centre to look for a costume. As he doesn't get home until 17.15 each day, I don't see how he plans to do this, other than go in on Saturday and hope for the best, by which time options will be very limited. He has also suggested an alternative costume which DS had no clue who it was and isn't keen on. Instinct and experience tell me ex just doesn't want to shell out £20.

I looked up the site DS saw the costume on and low and behold, its sold out in his size. I told DS and he was obviously pretty disappointed. Finally found it elsewhere.

Should I order it? Will that be seen as undermining him or trying to get one up/save the day kind of thing? I just really want DS to enjoy the party and he doesn't normally ask for "stuff".

elodie2000 Mon 24-Oct-16 02:35:42

If you've got £20 to spend on a Halloween costume go ahead! I agree with your ex though- there's no way I'd pay £20 for a costume even if my DC had their 'heart set on it' !!! Sorry!

Chipscheesentomatosauce Mon 24-Oct-16 02:37:40

Or should I just ask him what his plans are and say if he's not planning on buying it, then I will and that DS will also wear it to a party we're going to (although he likely won't as we have another costume planned for that, but it might save an argument)

kerryob Mon 24-Oct-16 02:50:29

Just buy it for your ds, if your ex doesn't sort it least he's got a back up. If he does sort it just return it.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 24-Oct-16 03:20:39

OMG, just buy it for him!
Fuck "undermining" - your ex clearly doesn't give enough of a shit about your DS to help him out here, if you can afford it, then just get it.
He'll be so happy!

Bogeyface Mon 24-Oct-16 03:24:57

There is a massive difference between "undermining" and "giving a shit".

Undermining would be you saying "No, he is not wearing that! I bought this....." and kicking off. What you are doing is listening to your son and giving a shit by making sure that he has what you know is important to him.

If it shames your ex then tough titties on him, although in my (sadly extensive) experience, it wont shame him at all. He will just sit back safe in the knowledge that he can be crap-dad because you will not let your kids go without sad

On the upside though, your son will always remember who was there for him.

Chipscheesentomatosauce Mon 24-Oct-16 03:28:33

I think I'll text him tomorrow and ask if he's getting it. I'm hoping i'm underestimating him and that he'll say yes and it's a surprise for DS. If not, I'll get it and it's up to him whether DS gets to wear it on the night.

KoalaDownUnder Mon 24-Oct-16 04:08:19

What Bogeyface said!

Chipscheesentomatosauce Mon 24-Oct-16 16:41:13

Well, pleasantly surprised, and seems I underestimated him this time after all. Texted him this morning and asked and he said he was ordering the suit tonight. I explained it seemed to be selling out, and offered to order it since he's at work. He asked how much and then agreed to me ordering. DS is chuffed and there was no argument. Just have to hope the website doesn't let me down as the oreer process was a bit weird!

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 25-Oct-16 03:06:47

Good outcome, OP. Hope you get the costume in time smile

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