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AIBU to think regifting is actually just plain cruel and heartless, let alone tight-wadding?

(314 Posts)
dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:36:14

I mean, if someone has bought you a gift, and you rewrap it for someone else...how bloody rude and tight-fisted! I'm all for recycling, up cycling and all that shit, but honestly, how is this not just f*****g rude?!

39up Sun 23-Oct-16 23:37:48

It is better to accumulate cupboards of unwanted junk?

PotOfYoghurt Sun 23-Oct-16 23:38:42

But what if you don't have a use for the gift, or you don't like it? Would you really rather it sit in the back of a cupboard, unused and unseen, than go to someone who would get use out of it?

The purpose of a gift is to be received. Once you've given a gift to someone its purpose is fulfilled. They can then choose to do with it what they wish, and be happy and grateful that you chose to give them something.

Mylittlelights Sun 23-Oct-16 23:38:49

IMO it's better than throwing it in the bin.

CointreauVersial Sun 23-Oct-16 23:41:41

Cruel? confused

I think it can be insensitive, if (for example) you re-gift to someone you both know, but it's hardly cruel.

I know my DCs get so much crap for Christmas and birthdays, some of which is duplicated or just completely inappropriate - I don't think it's the crime of the century if I redirect a few items elsewhere.

dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:42:00

Heartless. Stop buying presents for people you don't know well, then it wouldn't be useless. Surely if you only bought for those you really give a shite about this nonsense wouldn't happen?

dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:42:46

Ok, not cruel, just heartless.

Yamadori Sun 23-Oct-16 23:43:11

I've been given things before and thought "Hmm... this isn't my cup of tea, but Friend X would absolutely love it". So, rather than have it sit gathering dust then off it goes to a new home where it will be appreciated. The only thing I do is make sure that the person I'm giving it to doesn't know the person who gave it to me!

dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:44:23

Yes, I get it where kids are concerned. But cut the Christmas list to those you know well. Saves all this heartless regifting. And money.

BMW6 Sun 23-Oct-16 23:45:08

Heartless? Really not - just pragmatic and ecological. Don't sweat the small stuff OP.

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Oct-16 23:46:52

I found an old Christmas present from my MIL, stuffed down the back of my wardrobe.

I think DH meant to re-gift it but forgot.

Shame really. His mate would have loved that little puppy.

dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:47:29

Ha no sweat to me! Just picked up on another thread and it made me think, why bloody bother buying for people you don't know well?

IlsaLund Sun 23-Oct-16 23:47:31

It's a gift. Not an obligation.
And as such surely it's fine to do what you want with it. And sometimes that's re-gifting it.

dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:48:28

WorraLiberty grin

elQuintoConyo Sun 23-Oct-16 23:49:48

So, what am I supposed to do with the giant slipper you put both feet into, designed as a neon pink owl?

Or the perspex block with a dog inside (y'know those pin-pricked with a laser thingies?).

Or a crocheted hat in a thick mustard wool. I don't wear hats.

Candles and incence give me headaches and I never burn them.

I have known this person 18 years. Am I really not allowed to give it to someone else? I live in a small house. Who are you to dictate what I can or can't do with something I have been given?

elQuintoConyo Sun 23-Oct-16 23:50:39

Puppy grin

Notso Sun 23-Oct-16 23:51:08

What is rude about the following?
DS2 got a game for his birthday. He sent a thank you to the giver he loves this game (which is why we have two versions)
We already have two versions of the game, we had no idea of where it was from to return it so I gave him the money and DS3 gave it to his friend for their birthday.
I suppose we could have said "thanks but we already have this" then sent it back to the giver for them to exchange but then that would have been postage costs for us and another lot of postage and hassle for the elderly relative.

AmeliaJack Sun 23-Oct-16 23:51:21

It with the best will in the works occasionally those that know and love just get it wrong.

My DH is brilliant at presents but my Mum and MIL who know me, DH and the DCs really well sometimes get the odd thing that's:

Not quite my taste
Doesn't fit
I wouldn't use
Is a duplicate

And of course occasionally the kids get duplicate games/books etc from friends.

I keep a present cupboard at home so anything appropriate goes in there and gets re-gifted.

Other things might go for raffle prizes, to charity shops or to our local food bank.

I fail to see how this is rude.

I have a friend who for four years in a row told me that my birthday gift was unacceptable to her. I really had done my best to buy interesting, thoughtful presents. I cheerfully just give her a card now (which annoys her) but I do think that she was rude.

dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:52:09

Christmas list...
Husband, mum, dad, kids, best friends and their kids whom I adore, nieces and nephews (money wallet). End of. No regifting/waste of energy/stress required!

AmeliaJack Sun 23-Oct-16 23:53:21

Out of interest dogs are you sure that every gift you have ever given was perfect for the recipient and loved by them?

MsVestibule Sun 23-Oct-16 23:54:24

My best friend got me a lovely set of smellies for my birthday and my first thought was 'my sister would love this for Christmas'!! I may use it, I may regift it, but I'm definitely not heartless, nor was it a thoughtless present.

Really, how is this possibly something you could get at all het up about?

Astro55 Sun 23-Oct-16 23:54:54

im all for regifting - it's not tight!

The money I save I can buy myself a gift I'd like to replace the one I didn't -

I don't want earrings I can't wear - so beauty products I can use - or slippers a size too big

SingaSong12 Sun 23-Oct-16 23:56:46

I think it's a sensible thing to do. I try to get things I think people will like, but if they don't like it, already have one or one extra person came for Christmas and they needed a present that's OK.
I wouldn't do it if a gift is from a child including going to a shop for with the parent and picking something out.

dogsdieinhotcars Sun 23-Oct-16 23:57:33

AmeliaJack yes rude friend. I'd be like you. Like I say, I get the kid stuff. I just wish people thought a bit more, and spent a bit less. I know it's crap receiving naff gifts, but a charity shop would be kinder than regifting. That's just tight.

Nataleejah Sun 23-Oct-16 23:58:10

If the giver or the recipient is not aware -- its not rude

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