To ask why it's ok to have a bootle of wine on a Saturday afternoon with someone but not on your own.

(152 Posts)
StrongTeaHotShower Sat 22-Oct-16 12:59:32

I'm being a facetious, alcoholic idiot. Anyone want to tell me why it would be such a spectacularly bad idea to stick dd infront of CBeebies and hide in my bedroom with some wine (or the bottle of gin my alcoholic Dad bought for me, his alcoholic daughter for her birthday hmm. Thanks dad).

I've come so far in my sobriety this is like a bolt out of the blue. I went at the last minute to the pharmacy to collect my head meds and they said the dr hadn't sent it through so I'm stuck till Monday. This has brought on a big self medicating craving. It's just me and dd all live long day.

I'm having such a bad craving and my AA friend is away on a dirty weekend so I don't want to bother her and really don't want to admit I'm tempted to anyone else in RL.

Can anyone be arsed to talk some sense into me?

StrongTeaHotShower Sat 22-Oct-16 13:00:45

The spelling error in the title implies I've already caved. Just a very unfortunate typo blush

WildDigestive Sat 22-Oct-16 13:01:29

Your poor thing. Can you pour it down the sink to get rid of it and go out somewhere to distract yourself? What on earth is your father thinking?

Blondeandinept Sat 22-Oct-16 13:01:44

Please please don't.

I was the daughter of an alcoholic.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Please don't

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Sat 22-Oct-16 13:02:14

Drinking is a social activity. I thought only alcohol dependant people drank alone?

Artandco Sat 22-Oct-16 13:03:04

Well you know the answer. Of course it's fine for anyone to have some wine alone on a Saturday afternoon, but a) not a whole bottle when your alone with a child b) not if your a recovering alcoholic

ageingrunner Sat 22-Oct-16 13:03:42

Could you pour the bottle away now? Then it can't happen.
If you drink it won't make anything better it'll still be the same but you'll also hate yourself for breaking your sobriety. How long have you been sober for and what are the benefits of being sober?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Sat 22-Oct-16 13:04:07

Oh shit just seen your with your child. Of course you cAnt drink what if you need to drive her to hospital?

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Oct-16 13:04:09

OK, well I'll have a go.

What kind of mum do you want to be to your daughter? When you said drinking alone, I didn't realise you had a little girl there. That makes it completely different.

How old's your daughter? How do you think she'd like to spend the day? The idea of hiding in your bedroom to drink is really horrible, don't you think?

Phone your AA friend and ask if she knows anyone else who can help you. You really think she'd rather you drank?

Why don't you put your coats on and take your daughter outside for a walk. Go to the library and a cafe and a park. Make it a day for her - just do things she will like. Be the mum you want to be. But make that phone call, too.

TempusEedjit Sat 22-Oct-16 13:04:12

Would some strong tea and a hot shower help? smile

Stay strong

Pomegranatemolasses Sat 22-Oct-16 13:04:19

I followed your previous thread. You are amazing and have come so far.
such a bitch about your meds.

Please please don't do this. You will be gutted tomorrow. Ring your AA friend, that's what she's there for. She would never want you to succumb to this fleeting craving just to leave her in peace.

Play it through to the end. x

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Oct-16 13:05:06

Drinking is a social activity. I thought only alcohol dependant people drank alone?

So someone who lives alone can't have a glass of wine when they're at home on a Saturday night watching TV?

TopKittyKat Sat 22-Oct-16 13:09:16

I think you are stronger than you think and you won't have that drink.

It is hard and today is obviously a tough day for you but you will resist.

I think you just need someone (hopefully we can be that 'someone') that it's really bloody hard sometimes.

Stay strong! Like the other poster has said, take your DD to the park.

Ebbenmeowgi Sat 22-Oct-16 13:09:24

Pour it away, you've done so so well so far with recovering from alcoholism - stay strong!! You can do this.

Can you take dd out to park or to a lovely forest or something, distract and keep yourself busy?

StrongTeaHotShower Sat 22-Oct-16 13:09:30

Artandco I do know the rational answer. I just feel a bit panicky and sad and so alone and usually i really make an effort to make weekends special for me and dd but I just want to hide under the cover and just block the world out. She's so happy at the moment and hasn't seen me crying, harming myself, screaming for over two weeks. The change in her already is beautiful to see.
I've been sober with a few lapses since early August. My Dad doesn't accept I have a drinking problem.... Hence the litre of gin.

StorminaBcup Sat 22-Oct-16 13:09:36

Would it help to just concentrate on not drinking it for this hour? And if you make it see if you can manage for the next hour?

Could you go for a walk in the park? Collect leaves and come home and make a picture with your dd? Something to keep you distracted?

You already know you're better than your OP suggests. You can do this!

StrongTeaHotShower Sat 22-Oct-16 13:10:33

We've already been to the park and I'm so tired and low. I want to do Halloween craft with her.

cantstopeatingtoday Sat 22-Oct-16 13:10:42

Why don't you put your coats on and take your daughter outside for a walk. Go to the library and a cafe and a park. Make it a day for her - just do things she will like. Be the mum you want to be. But make that phone call, too.

Excellent advice.
Don't overthink things. Grab your coats and get out of the house. Distraction is key. While you're out, try and loosely plan your evening when you get back. What program/s you will watch on tv. make/bake something in the kitchen. Relaxing bath.

Good luck!
Oh and phone your friend.

StorminaBcup Sat 22-Oct-16 13:11:12

Crossed posts with everyone! smile

StrongTeaHotShower Sat 22-Oct-16 13:11:37

Storm, that's uncanny. We actually picked up the most beautiful red leaves in the park this morning to make a collage!

StrongTeaHotShower Sat 22-Oct-16 13:12:39

I'm going to call the generic AA number. I'll come back to the thread in a sec.

Artandco Sat 22-Oct-16 13:13:58

Ok.
Pour the gin away

Then if your have both already been out why don't you do some easy lunch for you both and snuggle on the sofa together with a film. In a few hours pop out for a walk and get some dinner out even simple fish and chips.

katsmumx Sat 22-Oct-16 13:15:39

Just don't do it!!! I can't think of the right words at the moment but your post has made me feel really anxious. I've been there, thinking where's the harm and what's stopping me but the very fact that you are already on a sober journey means alcohol is not your friend. Find something else to do this afternoon, maybe go out for a walk with your dd? Ditch the gin, tip it away, give it away, just get rid.

Nursenat100 Sat 22-Oct-16 13:15:39

Ok, don't look too far ahead. Deal with this an hour at a time. Break today into manageable chunks and do a little something each hour. Small targets quickly add up and will show you that you can do this. Do you have anyone else in your supper network you can draw on? Do you have a plan for when you feel this way.

Pouring the alcohol away is a good choice, you know this, but only you can make it.

StorminaBcup Sat 22-Oct-16 13:17:41

Ah perfect! Keep the picture - it'll be the one from the day you chose not to drink smile

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