Ex H refusing to spend time with DC

(6 Posts)
MiniChedda Thu 20-Oct-16 22:24:13

Ex h and I have 3 young DC. We don't get on. He resents paying me maintenance and becomes verbally abusive if he doesn't get his own way with changes to money and access.

The latest is that he hasn't taken any time off work to look after DC during his time with them in half term. He says he has no holiday left yet is taking the first few days of half term off to spend with his gf.... hmm

He's simply told me I won't be able to drop them off as he wont be there. I have plans and am really pissed off.

I've explained I'm not his free childcare and he needs to get his priorities right. He's absolutely vile to me yet expects me to have the DC as a favour and when I said I can't he's said I have to as he simply won't be there and it's not his problem angry

I feel desperately sorry for DC...

MiniChedda Thu 20-Oct-16 22:27:16

Sorry meant to say is he BU? Is it normal for one parent to do this to another when divorced?

SpermThroughASashWindow Thu 20-Oct-16 22:29:00

You could be describing my exdh. Sadly, people like them put themselves, their finances, careers and gfs before their kids.
My exdh has never taken a day off work to look after the DDs, insists on having them during my allocated time, puts the maintenance money in late each month. If I raise any of this, he says he has to work because he has to pay me. He says I should get a better job, and accuses me of ruining their lives.

Kim82 Thu 20-Oct-16 22:40:34

Sounds just like my ex too. We've been split up 10 years, he has never had them over half term, used to cancel last minute (one pathetic reason being he had fallen out with his girlfriend) and just expected me to cancel my plans, brought the kids home early because he had made plans when he was supposed to have them, he even brought ds home once because he was playing up and he "wouldn't listen so he has to go home". Oh, he has also dropped them off with my parents when he was meant to have them but he wanted to go fishing...at 8.30am on a Sunday. I had gone away for the night so he knew I wouldn't be home yet still wouldn't look after his own kids. Bellend.

The upshot of this is that dd(12) has nothing to do with him and ds(15) has a terrible, argumentative relationship with him and has no respect for him whatsoever. Apparently this is my fault though, he I have poisoned dd's mind against him and haven't taught ds any manners. I couldn't care less any more what he thinks and his piss poor relationship with his children is all down to him.

LostInTheColonies Thu 20-Oct-16 22:50:06

Father of my dd does this with tedious regularity, and then complains about not seeing her angry. The best one involved him cancelling a three-week visit - the second half of the school summer hols (we're in the S Hemisphere) - right before Xmas while DD and I were overseas, returning the day before she was supposed to go to him. He doesn't work because nobody will employ him after meeting him , I work FT. And there was no way to arrange holiday programmes or similar over Xmas, from another country. He is, obviously, a complete shit grin

SpermThroughASashWindow Sat 22-Oct-16 21:20:07

Kim82 we couldc have been married to the same person! My DDs are younger, but wouldn't be surprised if my two have the same attiutude when they are teenagers.

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