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To be upset with my mum over one afternoon?

(9 Posts)
altkat Thu 20-Oct-16 14:40:22

DH and I are moving with our 6-week old DS from Wales to Scotland this week. He had gone up today in a van with my dad and PIL are taking me, DS and the cat on Saturday. I'm staying with my mum and step-dad tonight and tomorrow night, spending the rest of the time cleaning the old rented place by myself with DS.

The upset occurred when my mum informed me that she is finishing work early tomorrow so will need me to wheel DS to her office (25 min walk) and then she and stepdad will be going out to a late lunch without me, as they need to use up some vouchers they have for a chain restaurant.

We won't be seeing them again until Christmas and DS is only GC - I really thought they could wait until Saturday to do this as both of them are off work that day, which I only know as she slipped up and told me - originally she said stepdad was working all the other days the vouchers are valid for. Luckily he is not, as I will be expected to take DS to his father's house to see various other family members before leaving on Saturday.

So am I expecting a bit much or would your mums have spent the time with you and baby? DS is my first so I don't know if I'm expecting people to want to be around him too much. It's just that I would have had to walk back to their house after handing the keys back to the landlords and then sit alone with him until they got back. The only reason I don't have to is because my stepmum is coming to see us - she's already come round twice this week just to say hi and drop biscuits in to us so she really didn't have to put herself out again.

Permanentlyexhausted Thu 20-Oct-16 15:14:17

I'm afraid I can't work out what the problems are here

she is finishing work early tomorrow so will need me to wheel DS to her office (25 min walk)
Why does she need you to take him to her office?

I would have had to walk back to their house after handing the keys back to the landlords and then sit alone with him until they got back.
Why is this a problem? Your DM is finishing work early and going out for lunch with her husband, as opposed to ... working all afternoon as normal? One way or the other you were going to be alone with your baby, no? Or is the problem that your DM is taking time off work and choosing not spending it with you and your DS. You're staying there though. presumably you're seeing quite a bit of them in the evening.

I'm sure staying behind with DS and cleaning up your old place whilst your OH has gone on ahead isn't great but I really can't see what your mum has done wrong.

Kokosjumping Thu 20-Oct-16 15:17:12

Yanbu this would upset me too. My mum would definitely spend the afternoon with me if I was moving across the country with her baby grandchild!!

hanban89 Thu 20-Oct-16 15:35:55

Is the upset because you would need to walk the 25 mins for her to show off her grandchild to her workmates? Then you would need to come back yourself as she is going out?
What about going out to lunch with them and spending the afternoon together?

altkat Thu 20-Oct-16 15:51:07

Permanently - she wants me to take him to her office so she can show him to her colleagues. As for the afternoon, she finishes early every other week. I thought maybe she might want to spend the time with us before we leave and was a bit hurt that she lied to me about it being the only time they could go out.

I know it is silly but when my PIL, father and stepmum are being so kind and interested in the baby I feel crap that we're being passed over in favour of 10% off at Café bloody Rouge. We're moving 7 hours away!

altkat Thu 20-Oct-16 15:52:15

Oh and we are not invited to lunch.

Kokosjumping Thu 20-Oct-16 15:52:48

Yeah you are definitely not unreasonable, id be very upset

FlyingElbows Thu 20-Oct-16 15:54:33

It's Scotland, op, not the moon. If it bothers you that much then tell her how you feel.

happymumof4crazykids Thu 20-Oct-16 15:58:23

Yanbu she is! If she wants to show off her grandchild tell her to come collect him as you are busy. I'd also point out the fact I would have appreciated an offer of help and bit of time with your mother before you left!

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