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Lack of sex

(4 Posts)
Lala1980 Thu 20-Oct-16 08:37:58

DH is going through a whole heap of sh*t right now. His dad died a couple of years ago and his mercenary uncle has pushed him out of the family business. He has had to take a pay cut to find work. His teenage son who lives with us is getting in trouble at school. His ex w is being a narc and alienating his other children who he hasn't seen since may. He is a runner but his knee is injured. So a pretty crap year.
I am funding the shortfall putting food on the table and fuel in the car, paying so mediation/court can continue, got him a job at mine and looking after (difficult) DSS and working FT myself. I am doing my utmost to support him.
I am a very tactile person. Sex and intimacy are super important to me. AIBU to be hurting that it has gone out of the window during this time? He is always tired and has started to drink more with the stress.
AIBU? Please be gentle. Feeling fragile. It's my birthday and he hasn't even said happy birthday...

TheNaze73 Thu 20-Oct-16 08:46:41

YANBU at all, sex is the key difference between great friends & a relationship.

Go gentle on him but, he probably is feeling like his whole world is collapsing with what he's been through & the not being able to provide is leaving him feel emasculated & I think that is probably why the sex has gone. I think he needs to see a dr or counsellor. You sound very supportive op & I really don't think it's you. Good luck smile

Lala1980 Thu 20-Oct-16 22:58:17

Thank you all. After DP dropped DSS at school he made me coffee and had bought pastries. He had got me a card and presents from the garage (flowers/chocs/wine). Really pissed off though as nothing from DSS. No birthday sex and have come to bed in tears as he is asleep on the sofa. Can't see how to make things better. Resenting DSS :-(

Overshoulderbolderholder Fri 21-Oct-16 00:23:11

Do you think he feels an underlying pressure to have sex when he really isn't up to it which may make him pull away further? Ask him for just a cuddle and make sure it is just a cuddle, hold his hand etc anything to maintain the contact between you until it can naturally move forward when he is feeling stronger. He probably is feeling down or depressed but due to circumstances which, hopefully, will improve with more time. A GP visit may be the way forward ?

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