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To ask if I have OCD

(13 Posts)
IWantToGetOffTheTrain Wed 19-Oct-16 16:28:13

Name changed for this but a regular poster.
I recently went to my gp and got on the road to sorting out my mental health which has been a huge relief. I have been referred for CBT and had my first session today.
I will try and keep this as short as possible but just want to give some background of why I think I may have ocd.
Always been nervous and somewhat obsessive but it spiralled out of control when my dd was born nearly 8 years ago now. Over the years I have had breakdowns over germs, alienated family members due to fears of someone making dd sick and spent far too much time researching and obsessing to try and calm myself down.
My anxieties are usually health related or any kind of threat to dd or ds, although sometimes they can be completely random obsessions.
I find if I move my eyes in a certain way in a pattern it gives me some relief (like if I don't do it something bad will happen).
I am always washing my hands and feeling like I may have germs on them, this is particularly bad when cooking meat.
I function as well as possible but there are times when I go so far down the rabbit hole that things I've thought in my head start to cloud reality.
I have intrusive thoughts and although I'm a very gentle passive person I do always fear doing something wrong (even though I absolutely never would).

Went in today and the lady I saw thinks I just have anxiety and I need to deal with realising that the panic attacks can't actually hurt me.

I don't want to self diagnose at all but after reading people's stories of living with ocd I have laughed and cried as I could have written most of them myself.

I have another session next week. WIBU to suggest ocd?

Foxysoxy01 Wed 19-Oct-16 16:35:06

It sounds to me very much like classic OCD maybe mixed with a general anxiety disorder but I'm not a trained therapist.

If you are already questioning the therapist you saw today then it might be that you aren't a good match, which is absolutely fine some people mesh better and it is neither of your faults but you really need to be able to feel completely comfortable and safe with your therapist for any therapy to actually work.

Maybe hold back any concerns for now and see how the next session goes then go from there, if you're still not feeling that the therapist gets you or your problem then move on to a new one that does.

Sometimes it takes a few try's to find the right person and therapy type that suits you so don't give up.

Vixyboo Wed 19-Oct-16 16:37:40

Go back to your gp with these symptoms. Presumably your CBT is being provided by a counsellor or therapist- not qualified to diagnose a mental health problem.

I work in mental health and although I am trained in counselling and can usually accurately some conditions I steer clear of diagnosing. That needs to be a psychiatric professional. You may wish to ask your gp to organise a mental health assessment for you.

IWantToGetOffTheTrain Wed 19-Oct-16 16:38:48

Thanks foxy, it's been such a long time since I felt normal I just want a diagnosis so I can get some help.
The lady I saw today was lovely but I just feel like she was reading from a book to me, there was no personal connection and I didn't really feel I could be completely open.
Would private counselling be a better option than nhs funded help? I'm not sure if I could request a new therapist.

IWantToGetOffTheTrain Wed 19-Oct-16 16:40:21

Thanks vixy that's very helpful. I will call gp tomorrow.

badtime Wed 19-Oct-16 16:54:26

I have OCD, and I have read a lot about it.

TBH, I was expecting something about cleaning when I clicked on this thread, but then I read your actual OP.

Obviously, I am not trying to diagnose anything here, but what you have written reads like a case study on OCD, it has so many of the classic signs and symptoms.

What I would say is that even if you do have OCD, receiving help in relation to anxiety might still help a bit, as OCD is an anxiety disorder and many people find it is worse at times when they are anxious anyway.

BTW, I didn't even bother going through the NHS to get therapy, as I wanted to be able to choose my own therapist (oh, and because due to my OCD I couldn't go to the GP confused ). If you can afford to see someone privately, that may be a better option, as there is evidence that one of the most important factors in whether therapy works is the relationship between the therapist and the client.

fruitloops699 Wed 19-Oct-16 17:04:21

I have OCD and your feelings sound very similar to mine, I don't like to think as it as abnormal as it's just how I cope with things. People assume OCD is just cleaning but it's not, I'll be compulsively worrying all the time

I was only diagnosed last year (I'm 18) because I have panic attacks (was diagnosed as anxiety for 6 years previous) often and keep stuff in certain places otherwise I'll be scared I'll have a bad day or something will go wrong

I haven't had any CBT or SSRI drugs because Im scared it will make me worse, so I'm interested in hearing if any treatment makes you feel better smile

IWantToGetOffTheTrain Wed 19-Oct-16 17:18:40

Thanks badtime. I am considering having treatment privately as I find it very hard to open up to just anyone. Will keep going with the CBT in the meantime as I do agree that helping me deal with the anxiety might be a good start.

Fruitloops it is hard to know what to do for the best isn't it. I was scared to ask for help for fear of opening a can of worms I couldn't close but I do feel much better for just having told someone how I feel. Not currently on anything other than beta blockers (which aren't helping at all) but will definitely keep you posted on how treatment is going.
How are you coping at the minute? It can be really exhausting can't it.

waterrat Wed 19-Oct-16 17:22:37

I think it's very inappropriate of a counsellor with no medical or therapeutic training dismissing the idea that you have OCD.

She isn't qualified to tell you that and you should seek out properly trained and qualified help.

IWantToGetOffTheTrain Wed 19-Oct-16 17:30:10

Waterrat she hasn't really dismissed the idea so much. I just told her everything I have just written in my op and she just seems to think I need to get a handle on my anxiety. I'm sure it is a big part of it but what I'm experiencing feels like something more than that but I didn't want to put words in her mouth by suggesting ocd.

fruitloops699 Wed 19-Oct-16 17:43:55

It's such a big step to talk to people about it, I have a lot of respect for you!

I'm not doing good atm, my boyfriend didn't cope with me wanting to just talk about how I felt with him because he felt the need to fix everything. He broke up with me two days before my birthday. That's pretty much why I'm on here because he was the only person I spoke to and now I feel so alone

IWantToGetOffTheTrain Wed 19-Oct-16 17:48:14

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time fruitloop. To be honest it's taken me 8 or more years to be able to talk about it and it might never have happened if it wasn't for my lovely gp whom I feel very comfortable with.
Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life? My husband has found it challenging over the years but is slowly starting to understand it better.

fruitloops699 Wed 19-Oct-16 17:52:48

I went to a counsellor for a year and stopped two months ago because I didn't want to be referred to someone else and my counsellor said there was no more he could do for me, if I'm honest I'm trying to only base my days by the hour. I'll only think an hour in advance and not let myself think any further. But it's all a bit messy atm :')

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