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To feel slightly put upon

(32 Posts)
voluptuagoodshag Tue 18-Oct-16 20:28:41

Get a text from a parent asking if her DS can come back to play at ours after we've had dinner until 8pm coz he's been pestering her but she doesn't want us to feel intruded upon. DS is ok with it even though he already has a pal round for a sleepover and they were going to watch a film.
I text the parent to say it's ok and The DS duly arrives with his younger brother in tow. Film now cannot be watched as it's got an age rating so they play video games instead and then when I stick my head round the door at 8 to tell them it's time to go I'm told that the parent said it was ok for them to stay until 8.30. I texted parent to ask if this was the case but no reply and I don't want to send kids home in case no one is there.
It's not a huge problem but I can't help feeling that the parents just wanted rid of their kids for a couple of hours peace. This is fine but why not just say so!!!

TheHiphopopotamus Tue 18-Oct-16 20:30:39

Yanbu. How rude! (Of the other parent)

Next time they text asking if their child(ren) can come over, say a definite no.

CrazyDuchess Tue 18-Oct-16 20:30:43

Is it walking distance? Can you take the kids home and knock to make sure someone is home to take them? Is it not a school night??

ollieplimsoles Tue 18-Oct-16 20:35:37

Bloody hell what cheek!

voluptuagoodshag Tue 18-Oct-16 20:39:47

Half term break here. She finally texted back at 8.30 to say yes it was ok if it wasn't too late for me (bit late to wonder). Kids walked home by themselves (just down road).
I don't mind watching kids when need be but hate it when it's done in a roundabout way. Just ask!

CozyAutumn Tue 18-Oct-16 20:39:49

The parents are cheeky sods shock

CrazyDuchess Tue 18-Oct-16 20:41:30

Incredibly rude - i'd say no next time!

gettingitwrongputtingitright Tue 18-Oct-16 20:46:09

Very cheeky.

clam Tue 18-Oct-16 20:55:32

This is fine, but...
No, it bloody isn't!!

voluptuagoodshag Tue 18-Oct-16 21:14:20

Ok I'm thinking of texting her back - how should I word it. It's not the first time she's done this and rather than let it fester perhaps just setting record straight so she knows in future

cosmicglittergirl Tue 18-Oct-16 21:16:06

No need to say anything now, just never say yes again.

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 18-Oct-16 21:19:34

Maybe something like "It's fine but next time mention ro me before the boys as they were disappointed when I said 8 and 8 really would have suited me better. They were fine though, also next time please tell me before younger ds arrives and movie plans had to change, I would have said no had I known. As i say it's fine now on both counts but I'll need to know in future"

Cheeky mare

rollonthesummer Tue 18-Oct-16 21:24:32

Don't say anything now, but say no immediately to all future requests. She was very cheeky!

rollonthesummer Tue 18-Oct-16 21:25:21

Did she specifically ask if he could come and play then stay at yours until 8pm!?

voluptuagoodshag Tue 18-Oct-16 21:33:39


voluptuagoodshag Tue 18-Oct-16 21:41:02

Have sent text along lines suggested. Boys are good pals so don't want to make things too awkward but also don't want to be taken for a mug either.

YouTheCat Tue 18-Oct-16 21:44:37

Tbh, friends or not, I'd just say no for the next few times she asks. She'll find someone else to put upon and you can still invite the lad over at times that are convenient to you.

BehindBlueEyes26 Tue 18-Oct-16 21:55:13

Eeesh that isn't too considerate. YANBU I'd say. Maybe next time she asks, say no but that you'd be happy to rearrange for a specific time that works for the both of you. Being firm should hopefully do the trick. I totally understand why you feel irked by this!

voluptuagoodshag Tue 18-Oct-16 22:27:44

Well that went tits up. Apparently my DS had invited hers after dinner (but not the younger brother) but didn't bother checking with me first. I've now had to follow my original text with an offering of humble pie. Feckety feck.

Doyoufeelluckypunk Tue 18-Oct-16 22:35:23


AnthonyPandy Tue 18-Oct-16 22:48:17

Did your ds confirm that? And it doesn't explain why she asked for her older boy until 8 and it morphed into both until 8.30, does it?

YouTheCat Tue 18-Oct-16 22:48:37

She's still taking the piss bringing the younger sibling without an invite.

Don't let her guilt you over this. And your ds needs to bloody say if he's asked people over. Kids!

ChuckBiscuits Tue 18-Oct-16 22:56:31

If he had, why dis she have to ask?

You have been tangoed love.

clam Tue 18-Oct-16 22:56:51

I don't see that that update changes anything, to be honest.

venys Tue 18-Oct-16 23:13:29

I dunno - my boys are 5 and 3 so perhaps a bit young - but I know the younger one hates being left out if older one has something. Could it just have been younger one caught wind and insisted on coming over too last minute? Admittedly the mum could have checked with you if that was ok.

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