Advanced search

Apologies, not an aibu but advice needed please.

(52 Posts)
lizb30 Tue 18-Oct-16 11:55:08

I do apologise. I'm not sure which part of the forum to ask this on. I only read aibu and I know there's lots of people here.
My 11 year old daughter has to appear in magistrates court on Friday as a witness. There is currently a man on remand due to sexual assault on her. My question is what does she wear? I have myself sorted, i'm also a witness as she phoned me straight after. Haven't never been inside a court before I have no idea what would be appropriate for her given her age. She only wears casual clothes usually (jeans, hoodies, converse etc). Ofcourse I'm more than happy to buy her an appropriate outfit I just don't know where to start. Sorry again for posting in the wrong forum.
Thank you.

blueturtle6 Tue 18-Oct-16 11:58:10

Surely she won't be in the court? Have they not taken video evidence to use? Speak to your lawyer/officer/social worker she shouldn't have to face him?

YellowCrocus Tue 18-Oct-16 12:01:32

I'm so sorry. This sounds dreadful. I would have thought a smart outfit such as trousers and a blouse would be right for this situation.

Ilovewillow Tue 18-Oct-16 12:05:33

Firstly I'm really sorry your daughter has to go through this. I would have thought smartish trouser/skirt and a blouse would be fine. I have worked in the court system albeit the civil side of things and people turn up in all sorts, what they have to say is more important than their clothes so please don't worry too much.

It's important that she is as comfortable as she can be, along with everything else she doesn't want to feel uncomfortable in her clothes.

I hope all goes well.

ThatGingerOne Tue 18-Oct-16 12:06:05

Smart looking skater dress is what I wore to court for the same sort of thing.
Smart pants and shirt would work too.
Due to the circumstances she will be protected in court by a privacy screen. Only certain people will be able to see her and the defendant will not.
This is what happened for me and I was a 20 year old.

chickenowner Tue 18-Oct-16 12:06:41

She should wear whatever she feels comfortable in. No-one will be judging her on her appearance.

If you want her to wear something smart, how about her school uniform?

rollinghedgehog Tue 18-Oct-16 12:07:14

I'm not sure about courtroom etiquette, but whatever she wears she might associate it with that day for ever, so something she can wear and throw away would be good. That said, she will also want to wear something that makes her feel confident/ is comfortable in, so that is also something to think about.

ThatGingerOne Tue 18-Oct-16 12:07:24

Hope this can help:

nilbyname Tue 18-Oct-16 12:08:00

School uniform?

Otherwise whatever she likes- jeans and a plain top?

Allalonenow Tue 18-Oct-16 12:09:41

Another vote for school uniform, though surely she will not be visible in the court.

Scarydinosaurs Tue 18-Oct-16 12:09:51

I would wear a school uniform as that would look smart and suitable for the serious tone of a court.

lizb30 Tue 18-Oct-16 12:10:36

Thank you. She's already given video evidence which will be used but we've been told she may also need to be questioned via video link. So she won't actually be in the court room. I should have included that in my first post I'm sorry.
She's ok thankfully. Although I'm keeping a very close eye on her, luckily we're very close so she knows she can speak to me at any time about anything.
She wasn't physically hurt. If she was, he wouldn't be in court he'd be in the ground.
I can't say too much about it until it's over. But he's admitted to everything word for word what she said but decided to plead not guilty anyway. Work that one out.
Thanks for the replies. smile

FleurThomas Tue 18-Oct-16 12:11:24

Does she have a school uniform? I think that would be more than appropriate. If not a black skirt, white shirt, and school shoes.

lizb30 Tue 18-Oct-16 12:11:43

School uniform is a good idea actually, thank you. I don't know why I didn't think of that.

wigglesrock Tue 18-Oct-16 12:12:38

Whatever she wants to wear is fine but I agree with rollinghedgehog , she may never want to wear it again. Was the offer made to give evidence via video link? For a child she should have been offered special measures.

blueturtle6 Tue 18-Oct-16 12:13:27

Ok video link makes more sense. She should wear what ever she feels comfortable in.

wigglesrock Tue 18-Oct-16 12:13:31

Sorry cross posted - hope all goes well.

Coldilox Tue 18-Oct-16 12:14:47

Police officer here who works on these kind of cases. It really doesn't matter what she wears. She will be visible on a screen in the court room. Something she feels comfortable in, I would suggest maybe jeans and a plainish top. There's no need to buy something new, all Id say is nothing too outlandish (if she is into alternative fashion etc)

lizb30 Tue 18-Oct-16 12:14:56

Thank you. I appreciate the replies.

lizb30 Tue 18-Oct-16 12:17:26

Must seem like an odd question. I was hoping he'd change his plea and that she wouldn't be needed to attend so my heads all over the place a minute. I just wanted to make sure I get it all right if that makes sense.
I'll ask her if she'd like to wear her uniform or if she'd prefer her usual clothes. Thank you everyone.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Tue 18-Oct-16 12:20:34

I'm sorry your DD is going through this. Does the man know already where your DD goes to School? If she wears her School Uniform in Court, he might be able to identify what School she attends.

Coldilox Tue 18-Oct-16 12:21:18

He might still change his plea, sometimes they do at the very last minute. Don't bank on it though, best to be prepared to give evidence.

Coldilox Tue 18-Oct-16 12:22:15

And good luck

blueskyinmarch Tue 18-Oct-16 12:26:08

She can wear her normal clothes. I have been around courts for many years as a Child Protection SW and the young people usually just come in jeans, t shirts, hoodies etc. She needs to feel relaxed and comfortable.

ImperialBlether Tue 18-Oct-16 12:31:22

If she wears her uniform, I think she shouldn't wear her tie or blazer or a jumper with a badge on it. I hope it goes well in court.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now